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If a car ran over your foot...

415 replies

DrasticMeasures · 30/05/2012 13:17

it would damage it, wouldn't it? What might happen?

OP posts:
DrasticMeasures · 30/05/2012 19:43
Blush

I don't know what the deleted posts said but I am genuine & posting on other threads but namechanged for obvious reasons. Thank you, Helen. I posted in chat because I wanted this to go away. I never expected it to turn out like this Sad

Booy, I know this is not fair on my employer and I know I am being selfish. I don't want to be signed off at all - I want to go to work and do my job. But it is contributing to me being quite unwell.

I have talked briefly with DP about this now and I will mention it to my GP next week. I have plans for the weekend so won't do anything til after then.

Thank you all.

OP posts:
Sparklingbunting · 30/05/2012 19:48

Good luck Drastic, I really hope you can try and enjoy the weekend. It's great you have spoken to your DP, and I hop you can have a good appointment with the GP next week.

Sparklingbunting · 30/05/2012 19:48

*hope even. Smile

Wotnow · 30/05/2012 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmBooybilee · 30/05/2012 19:54

"Booy, I know this is not fair on my employer and I know I am being selfish. I don't want to be signed off at all - I want to go to work and do my job. But it is contributing to me being quite unwell."

yes but that means making a decision. you still have a responsibility to your employer to inform them of illness (depression is a mental illness) that will affect your work. this is affecting your work in such a way that means you cannot do your job. believe me i absoloutely get how you feel. i have been in your situation where i dreaded going back to work after being off but those feelings dont absolve you of your responsibility to your employer.

you need to make a decision. be that, to seek medical advice, quit work, change your hours, speak to your boss about reducing your duties in work, changing job, taking some time out. but you cannot do what you are thinking of doing. it is not a solution. it is a stalling tool. none of those choices may be appealing or even easy choices. each one of them may have an effect you dot want but sometimes there are no easy options. sometimes we only have a choice between two/three very unpleasant options.

in your shoes i would definitley seek a second medical opinion. i agree with you that you need to be out of work but i think you would feel far better about being off work if you got there by being properly diagnosed with whatever it is that's going on with you right now.

if you do decide to injure yourself and then you get close to being fully healed, all these feelings will come back. it isn't a soloution to your problem. you have to face this and deal with it. it wont go away by itself. work will still be there waiting for you after your foot (or whatever) has healed, but your MH issues will also still be there undealt with.

Swatchdog · 30/05/2012 20:32

Great post IAmBooybilee

Drastic - many people on here understand how you feel. And we have all come through the other side of this fog you're in now. Please see someone other than your current GP, who can give you the support you need. Good luck!

Thumbwitch · 31/05/2012 00:32

Drastic, you posted this:
"I could spend time with DC.
I wouldn't have pressure on me to reach targets and jump through hoops in order to prove that I am doing what I love well
I wouldn't have to rush to get DC up & out of the house every morning
I wouldn't have to rush home, pick up DC, cook dinner, sort homework, do bedtime in a mad frantic
I could have a rest
Someone might look after me for a short while"

Does your DP not help out? why do you have to do all of the above, especially if he knows you are under so much pressure?

And ok, you say you can't reduce your hours at work, but can you really not? Obviously you need to get the job done, but can you do a job share, maybe? I understand you need the money, but the way you're going you're either going to have to go back to work full time and burn out, or you're going to end up losing your job anyway, so wouldn't a compromise be better than that?
Again, not the most helpful suggestion in the current climate, but could you possibly look for another, less pressured job in the same field?

But primarily - if you can - get your DP to help out more!

wheniwishuponastar · 31/05/2012 08:13

This thread isn't showing up on the mental health page for me - anyone else have the same problem?

madmouse · 31/05/2012 08:29

wheniwis you may have (inadvertently) hidden it

wheniwishuponastar · 31/05/2012 08:40

Great thanks.

DrasticMeasures · 31/05/2012 09:26

Thank you all for being patient and understanding yesterday.

DP doesn't live with us. He comes over and helps as much as he can and is supportive but he has his own mental health problems. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to out myself.

I have woken up feeling sick and anxious and I don't know why. I desperately don't want to go back to work yet I love my job and the people I work with. I miss them. It's 10 days away so I don't even need to fret about it yet.

I'm scared and worried that I'm losing my mind. I know that what I am thinking is utter madness and it's not normal to want to seriously hurt yourself. I know that. Yet it still seems sensible to me. I don't want to be ill. I don't want to be mad.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a nice home, lovely DC, a great job.

OP posts:
Sparklingbunting · 31/05/2012 09:28

Morning Drastic. Of course you don't want to be ill, but you have recognised how you are feeling isn't how you want to feel. Are you already on ADs?

Thumbwitch · 31/05/2012 09:29

Drastic - have you made an appt to see your doctor? You need to do that. You need to go and be completely open with them about your feelings - there is a rational part of you still operating that knows your wanting to hurt yourself is irrational, but it's in the minority at the moment and you need to increase its share.
You're not losing your mind, but you need to change something, fast.

DrasticMeasures · 31/05/2012 09:30

I'm on 2 different ADs. I really don't feel depressed anymore. I'm not being impulsive, I'm not unhappy, I'm sleeping fairly well now. So wtf is wrong with me? Sad

OP posts:
CailinDana · 31/05/2012 09:30

You're ill Drastic. Take it from a bunch of people who've been exactly where you are now. I know you feel like you're going mad. You're not. You will come back from this. But in the meantime lean on other people.

How are you feeling at the moment? What's your plan?

DrasticMeasures · 31/05/2012 09:32

I'm seeing him next week, thumbwitch. I'm going away tomorrow so will be fine over the weekend. A break might help. I have to go for a while but I'll come back later.

OP posts:
DrasticMeasures · 31/05/2012 09:33

Cailin, I'm feeling anxious, scared, worried and tearful. I don't really know why. I don't want to have to hurt myself. I don't want to feel like this.

OP posts:
Sparklingbunting · 31/05/2012 09:34

It doesn't sound like the ADs are helping, it may be just an increase in dose, or a change of medication required. You seem better than you did yesterday.

CailinDana · 31/05/2012 09:36

What do you think would be the best way to stop you feeling like that?

Swatchdog · 31/05/2012 09:41

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a nice home, lovely DC, a great job"

What's wrong with you is that you're not well, the chemical pathways in your brain are a bit mucked up and you're not able to act rationally and normally. Depression isn't about what you have or what people can see from the outside, it's an illness and as such needs treatment.

Can you make an emergency appointment to see your doctor today? Your recent post really concerns me, and you need to get something sorted quickly! There is no need for you to feel this way when the help is out there - not belittling the feelings, just trying to point out that there is help. Don't worry that the doctors won't allow you home, they will make sure you have support and help sort out your medication.

I have been where you are now and I know how bleak everything can seem. I promise you that it doesn't remain that way, and it gets better a lot quicker if you get proper help (as in not from the GP you have at the moment, from a GP who is sympathetic to your issues).

TrinityIsAFuckingRhino · 31/05/2012 09:42

If the world would pause so I could breathe if I did it I would do the same as the op is thinking Sad Blush

CailinDana · 31/05/2012 09:43

Oh no Trinity, what's happening?

holdingupthesky · 31/05/2012 09:44

But you arent coping!
See another Dr!
I had to..after years of being patted on the head by my Gp and told to get on with it!

Dont be ashamed of opening up...you MUST grab the Doctors attention and if you arent then you are not putting it accross properly!

If you hide it all away, and gamely carry on, eventually something will snap and you will be in a much worse situation health wise!

Where will you dc be then?

Just mention the word stress...that will get you a few weeks initally and dont under play how low you are feeling!

But dont stick your foot under a passing car!!!!!!!

TrinityIsAFuckingRhino · 31/05/2012 09:45

nothing is happening cailin

I don't ever feel like I have been able to breath or cope

thank-you for asking Smile

CailinDana · 31/05/2012 09:47

Do you suffer from depression Trinity?