If a car ran over your foot...

[DrasticMeasures]

it would damage it, wouldn't it? What might happen?

I will tell him I feel like this if I still do when I see him. I feel silly calling the psych people. I'm not about to hurt myself. It's not an emergency.

At what point do you think it would be ok to call the psych people?

But you are planning to hurt yourself.

If I was about to kill myself. Or thinking about it. That's more of an emergency.

But not right now, valium. Maybe next week? But maybe a tree will fall on me before then so I won't have to do anything.

So planning on hurting yourself isn't an emergency?

Oh well, you have lots of advice on this thread, perhaps you will take some of it :)

I can understand why you might be pissed off or feel resigned about your gps advice. But you are entitled to at least a second opinion by a different gp. But this gp might not be very good at mental health so you should see someone qualified in this area.
If it was a physical illness and your symptoms got worse over time you would go back to the doctor. This is what has happened here. You can't decide to self harm which is what you are considering that cannot be denied - just because one doctor in one session was dismissive. This is a big thing to do. Also consider the example you are setting your child. Also think of people who are disabled through no fault of their own and would probably love to work. Or those that are but do work. Disabling yourself wont necessarily mean that you can't work.

I don't know... is it? I don't feel irrational or impulsive. I'm not going to put anyone else at risk. I'm not worried or scared.

Thank you all. I'm sorry. I do appreciate your advice and help. Thank you for being patient.

I have to go now.

Please speak to someone, Drastic. You're not speaking rationally, and you're planning on not acting rationally. It is important and you are important, the psych people will want to hear from you when you're feeling like this. It's their job to look after you.

Your last sentence really concerns me, you have to get some help. You will be taken seriously and they won't make you go back to work.

When I was ill I saw a lot of healthcare people and they really varied in their attitude. I was fortunate that my GP was awesome, but a lot of the others were awful. Your GP is one of the awful ones, the MH people will deal with your issues and keep you safe so you can get help. Please speak to them.

Yes it is an emergency. Getting hurt is not a positive thing, even though you feel it will have a positive outcome for you. This is the sort of thing your psych team need to deal with. They will help you.

Please come back again if you feel like talking about this some more.

Not wanting to lie to work about being ill doesn't make sense if you are willing to injure yourself intentionally. Injuring yourself doesn't give you the moral high ground so that it's better than lying.

i can see that everyone has been very sympathetic to yoru situation OP and i agree that this needs handled with sensitivity as it is quite clear all is not well with you.

however i do feel it neds to be pointed out that what you are intending to do is not fair to your employer. if you feel you cannot do the job then you have to inform them and let them employ someone who they can depend on to turn up. i understand that you say you cant afford to give up work but i do not for one moment think that gives you justification to just get repeatedly signed off work for illness/injuries you have inflicted for that very purpose. you are being selfish in that respect.

I think planning to run over your own foot, possibly giving yourself deliberate, permanent damage, definitely counts as irrational.

Your doc doesn't have to pass on the reason for you being signed off - work don't need to know.

DM

Stay safe, look after yourself.

Tell your GP (or a different, better, doctor) how you've been feeling when your feelings have been at their worst - don't make light of it.

There is an alternative to hurting yourself - you can feel better with some more assistance from the mental health team (whether pharmocological or therapeutic). You could be feeling a lot better by this time next week.

It's not rational to shoot yourself in the foot (or run it over) unless you're a WWI soldier being drafted in for certain death on the Western Front! ;)

Sorry if this post makes no sense or is a bit to the point, this thread has struck a nerve.

Drastic you need to speak to someone whether your GP, another GP, a helpline, a counsellor, anyone.

You've said you don't feel irrational, but what you've said IS irrational.

You've said if work found out you'd run over your own foot they'd think you were mad, that's because it IS a "mad" thing to do (for want of a better word)

You don't have to feel stressed or depressed to actually be stressed or depressed. You don't have to recognise it or acknowledge it for it to be true or for you to see someone about it.

Depression isn't all about killing yourself and you don't have to be suicidal to need help.

You may seem ok to yourself but not to a mental health practitioner or other people.

PLEASE GET HELP. You shouldn't be feeling like this and you shouldn't be making any long term decisions about life/your career while feeling like this.

I hope you manage to sort things out, being signed off work with a none physical illness is not a weakness

Hello. Just popping on to say we have absolutely no reason at all to suspect the OP is anything other than genuine. We can see she has been posting on MN for a very long time indeed.

We're going to move this thread to Mental Health now.

Drastic, you do need to see a different gp. It really isn't 'normal' to have serious thoughts and intent to harm yourself physically in that way.

I think it's normal to have intrusive and impulsive thoughts at times but of a fleeting nature that pass quickly.

What you are talking about is something different. You really do sound desperate not to return to work. I can relate to that to a lesser degree. I have an incredibly stressful job that at times I dread. I'm fine when I'm off but as soon as the day comes for me to go back (I work nights) I've had periods when I have become stricken by panic. I know for myself that the thought of work is worse than the reality and I'll be ok I get there. Doesn't seem that is the case for you though.

If I ever, ever got to the point you were at, thinking seriously of physically haring myself, I would stop and take stock. No job is worth that, it really isn't.....

Sorry OP, I haven't read every post, so maybe someone has already suggested this. It seems like it is the stress at work that is bothering you. Instead of doing yourself an injury, is there any way you can change jobs, go part time, work from home, be a SAHM, or even a complete career change? So that you could go to bed and not feel stressed about the next day, and enjoy daily life.

Please don't hurt yourself, that can't be the solution. Hope you work it out.

i am just going to say what valiumredhead said! your thought process op is not that of a 'well' person, you do have depression and are being treated for it and you need more help.

what you are thinking of doing wont help you in the long run at all, please listen to the posters on this thread and get some help,i have been where you are and its not very nice :(