can anyone help me?

[mosp]

I want to cancel my skype and also facebook. I have googled. Sorry, I can't work out how to do it. I need to get rid of them both. Please, can anyone guide me what to do?

Hi. I love hearing the pissy stories and all your news. If I started another thread, where would I put it?

Feeling overwhelmed today. Not really sure what is going on in my head. Need to just get on and try not to think.

Hope you all ok.

I think just start a new thread in this section? Just pop a line in to say something like 'Mosp rides again' :)

Feeling a bit annoyed today as DD won't have her daytime nap and the cake I just made has sunk in the middle. I usually have no problem with cakes...I was in a hurry to get it out of the oven so I could sit down and have some lunch.

Feel free to rant, ramble and generally let it all out here, Mosp
Sending you some and to help you along.

Mosp I'm realy glad to see your all happy!
NotGeoff iam om. As today is father's Day, H took baby and went out with his mum¥big sis, and I'm out trying to have a goodtime but can't stop thinking about my troubles. :(. Having a Vanilla latte to try lift my mood up, if that doesn't work, all the way.
And YES, A new thread is a brilliant idea and we can carry on to ramble if need to :) and chat to each other as we are.
Mrs Snap how are you coping?
I am actually begining to see you all four as my friends now, always there to listen. Your all wonderful x

I think i need some ideas from you lovely ladies, Mrs Snap , Mosp , NotGeoff , what do you do when you feel low and you want to lift your mood up?
I tend to go out shopping for myself, either get a beautiful outfit or get some jewels or stay at home and bake. If nothing works, I ((consume some alcohol)) to forget everything.

Today I got a black fitting dress (tomorrow am attending a funeral :( )

What do you all do? Your ideas could be beneficial to me xx

Hmm, when I feel low and I can't vent or cry I will try to do something creative - draw, make something, design something (I make cards and jewellery but am shit at drawing!)... or I will put on some music and dance myself into a better mood. The more stupid the dance the better.
Baking is good too - I hae done that.

Black dress = good, but funeral = bad. Sorry to hear that you're having so much going on.

I'm trying to organise a memorial event but want it to be upbeat so I'd welcome ideas from everyone here too. So far I have the notion of printing out catchphrases used by my Dad, and putting them up on the wall along with some funny photos (of which there are many). I am also going to make a sort of guest book where I can ask people who knew him. I'll be printing off sheets of paper which ask

a) how long they knew him
b) how they came to know him
c) what funny memories/nice memories they have of him
d) if they have any photos they want to put in

If they also knew my Mum then I'll ask them to put the same in for her.

Then I'm going to scan all the pages and photos in and make it into a book.

I can't vent or cry you are veeery strong :) I'm such an emotional wreck, I do both.

And you do have very great ideas about planning a memorial, pictures,phrases and a diary signed by friends especialy those who kney them is fantabulous way of keeping the legacy going. I have never done it so in-terms of ideas, I do not have a clue. But I will do some online research to help. Sorry to hear you lost both P. I lost my mum about 10yrs ago and never done a memorial :( . Hopefully next year I will do something.

Where Mosp and Mrs Snap ? Hope your both alright.

I dunno about strong - I didn't really cry much after my Mum died 12 years ago - about two years after that stress from work on top of grief I hadn't worked through almost gave me a nervous breakdown and I remember going off out one day, just wanting to get away from it all. I sat down by the train line for ages but couldn't bring myself to walk in front of anything or lie on the lines. I thought I would run away but then spent another few hours agonising over where I would go, what I would call myself, how I could stay somewhere without drawing money out in my name.... in the end, DH came and found me, took me home and I spent the evening crying my eyes out.... and then had a 6 week counselling session, being signed off work for 2 weeks with depression. It helped loads.
I'm a bit worried that the same thing might happen again as I've not really cried much about Dad, but for some reason, I don't feel that I need to. Perhaps because I was more involved in what's gone on.

Going to 'fix' the last of the memorial invites today (I have printed off the correct address and now need to stick it onto the invites I have left), and mail everyone I can that I sent the wrong details to. Should keep me busy!

Sorry to hear you lost your Mum. It's never easy but I guess each day it becomes more accepted into your daily life.

Hopefully Mosp and Mrs Snap will be along shortly. I have no pissy stories from the past 24 hours - all my floors are dry! Poor cats are sulking because they are only allowed in the bathroom (where I have put their bed) or the hallway.

I'm really really sorry. I just can't gather my thoughts together at all. I am here, but no use to anyone (what's new?). I am being a bit of a hermit, so I apologise. I wish I could add something helpful or encouraging.

Aww, Mosp but you're here - that's what matters. Thanks for popping in. Sorry you're feeling like that today. Is there anyone in RL you can chat with, or spend some time with, or something you can do to lift your mood?

The weather here is vile otherwise I'd be going out for a walk. But it looks as though it's going to tip it down. Wonder if the carpet is up to the likely effects of any finger-painting?

I just don't want to talk to anyone. I want to be alone for hours and hours and hours. Just me and the piano.
I have been sitting here at the computer for ages trying to work out how to open an account that allows me to receive a landline call from a US prison, and it is too complicated for me. It doesn't seem to recognise that not everyone lives in the US...
I'm giving up for now.
Hope you're ok, sorry again for being rubbish. I don't feel bad, just very very 'out of reality' and distant. Got to see psychiatrist later, which I don't really want :(

Sorry I can't help you with the telephone thing - I only know regular phone call stuff and I'm not great at that!

I hope the psychiatrist is of some help - how is the progress going with your Dr referring you for more/better treatment?

Weather has picked up now so I will be going out for a while after all but just wanted to check in to make sure you were here. Out of reality and distant sounds classic depression to me. Sending you some hugs. x

Hi everyone sorry I was absent but we had the packers in yesterday for the stuff we are shipping overseas and it was a really stressful day. We had loads of stuff we couldn't fit into our limit but I am sure we will cope
The rest goes into storage in 10 days then we leave 2 weeks today - aargh so much to do and so little time
I'm sorry everyone is having a bad time
mosp did you sort out the phone? Is it to talk to your penpal? Keep yourself safe and don't over commit emotionally as I would hate for you to get hurt. I know this individual is good in letters but committing to talking to someone in real life is a huge investment to make - are you in the right place emotionally for that?
lovelymummy I tend to hide myself away with a book and TV, on the sofa with a blanket. Doesn't happen often now - more likely I will be awake in early hours with stress like now - been awake since 0448 worrying about the move but I just reassure myself that in 2 weeks time this will be all sorted whatever happens. Sometimes it is worth looking for the little things, a child's picture, a sneaky hug with them - how are things at home?
geoff sorry about the weather but we need more pee

geoff I think the book idea sounds great, are you planning on takin photos at the event?
Do you think people/friends at the memorial would buy a copy of the book if the profit went to charity? Just an idea but you can get companies that make these "coffee table" photo books or is that just a weird idea sorry

With the cats dont clean the area with ammonia based products as to the cats it just smells like another cat and they will pee there again - use something citrus based or use a bicarbonate o soda solution to get rid of any smell

Thanks MrsSnap - I have some cleaning stuff for the cat pee - it smells like the solution you used to get to bathe your ears in when you'd had them pierced. We've been pee-free for 48 hours now!!!!
Hope the packing isn't too stressful. Are you moving far afield? Have had a couple of my friends/acquaintances move to Australia in the last few years. Not exactly easy to visit now :(

I like the idea of the book sale thing - I don't know that it's that weird, I might run it past people on the day. DH is a photographer so yes, there will be photos of the day.

Mosp - I think MrsSnap does make a good point about the phone call. Not trying to discourage you but you're in a shaky place at the moment, and don't need your boat rocked, so to speak.

Lovelymummy how are you feeling today?

I'm out of touch for the rest of the day as I have to head out to clear some more stuff from my Dad's house. Had a bit of a snotty email from his neighbour about the rubbish I'd put out last time. Won't go into detail here (you never know who is reading MN!) but just to say what a biatch!

Anyway, hope everyone has a pleasant day, and I'll be back late tonight or tomorrow at the very latest. x

Hello. Are you moving permanently snap? I hope you can enjoy your last two weeks and not stress too much.

Geoff - when my grandma died, my aunt laminated lots of quotes that she always used to say, and put them on the wall. Your ideas sound really good.

Lovely mummy, I can't advise because I don't cope well when I am feeling bad. I can't concentrate to read or play piano and then I feel worse.

Re the phone call, it is a one off because it will be so expensive. He is really excited about hearing my voice and I can't wait to hear his. I can't let it be a habit because of the cost!

I will write more about him later. X

Hey everyone, I'm sorry been off for a while, been poorly since I yesterday's funeral, I just can't recall what exactly happened to me as soon as I saw the casket :( , all I remember is seeing flashing images of my late mum and having a terrible headache. I hardly visit cemetrys so, attending the funeral was a very brave idea, however, sadly enough, I didn't make it to the end.

MrsSnap , good luck with the move, its one of the things I totally dislike. Last time I made a major move, I lost plus gave out valuable items that I'd prefer storing in the loft for life :o , since I couldn't afford to move everything. But I'm sure you'l cope well, its one of the things we all have to do at a point in life.

Mosp have you tried using skype to call him? You could sign up anonymously but only identify yourself to him. That way, you can avoid another encounter of worry and panic.
How did your session with the psychiatrist go? Have you discussed with your doc about anti-D's ? I reckon they could be of help when you don't have immediate support when you need it.
Aaaand, can't wait to hear about this guy your dying to talk to :) hope you manage to reach him.

NotGeoff how is the memorial prep going? You do have great ideas there. Lucky to have your DH as the photographer. I have tried to look through a few websites on memorial ideas but from what I've read, I reckon you have better ideas :)

My Mil and sil are doing my dead in at the moment, they delibalately tried to burn my dd and damaged her health record book(the red book). Its all wet, and torn into pieces. How could they do that to an innocent baby???? My H is arrogantly defending them (as usual) :o :( . Will have to get my hv get me a new one(as its very important) and trace all her records and re-write them again. I hate them ALL with a passion right now

Oh God, lovelymummy what horrible people you have to deal with. How did they try to burn your dd and why are they damaging her health record book?
Is there any way you can avoid contact with these people?

Sorry you had such a difficult time, but well done for going to the funeral. We didn't have a funeral for Dad. He was cremated but there was no service. I didn't go to the cremation, but other family did. Not yet sorted out his ashes but will be doing that later.

Now trying to think of other good questions for the memorial book. Hopefully I'll hear back from all those invited soon so I have a good idea of numbers and can sort out food etc.

MrsSnap - guessing you're busy with the move.

Mosp - any progress on the phone call?

I'm still here just stressed with the whole moving overseas thing - moving in the UK is a breeze compared to this
Currently looking after the kids in the afternoon so DH can finish fixing car and caravan before we go - major stressors as the first needed a lot of work and the second is being prepped for storage even though it is mid restoration
I keep reminding myself this time in 2 weeks we will be arriving in Spain to do the drive down the next day and then I think F*CK this time in 2 weeks we will need to have done all this other stuff!!
geoff sounds as if plans for the memorial are going ok
mosp any news on your appointment ?
lovelymummy your situation sounds awful is there any way out for you ? Have you considered Women's Aid or a refuge ?

Hi everyone, i feel like I can live with myself anymore, been crying all afternoon and getting flashing images of my late mum. My whole body has been trembling and having a realy baad heahache. Called the councelling dept I know and they shut me off saying they can't be of help to me at the minute. Called my GP and booked and emergency app which I'm about to go to. I want tell her how I feel but yet scared that she will disclose my info to childrens services and they might take my baby away. I don't have any other help, called my H and he sceamed that he doesn't care how I feel(he is in a pub)
I just don't know what to do, I'm scared of having a nervous breakdown,
I'm realy sorry to bug you all with my problems, I just don't have anywhere else to talk about it. Forgive me

Lovelymummy please speak to your GP about getting help, counselling, anti depressants or just support. I would also ask about help for your relationship as it seems from what you post on here that it is damaging you you need help for the sake of your children

I agree with MrsSnap, Lovelymummy - you're being treated very unfairly for no reason. Please tell the GP everything, including (if you can) marital stress - I don't think you need to go into specifics but giving a whole picture will be helpful.

It may also be worthwhile speaking to Cruise who deal with bereavement issues. I know my sibling is having trouble since our Dad died and advised they contact them too.

Feel free to talk to us here by all means.

I don't know where you are located but there tend to be women's refuges scattered about which can offer advice and support too. I used to live quite near one in North London.

I'll be back online later if you want to chat then. x

Thank you all, I did see the GP and I really tried my best to explain to her how I was feeling and she insisted I don't need therapy, that made me feel let down despite the fact that I admitted I needed medical help, I broke down in her office for about 2hrs and she was very calm and listened to me. She referred me to the Surgery's counselor, hopefully next week i will start some sort of therapy.
She also has prescribed some Anti-D's :(

I felt I couldn't cope with the baby in the weekend therefore I had to walk (have no money at all) a very long distance to drop her off at mil's where my H has decided to camp for as long as he likes.
Nothing much going on at the mom, begged H for a £20 and spent it all on alcohol to consume. Its the only way to forget everything, H has been threatening to get custody of baby if we break up plus sil has claims that I am cheating on H, only God knows the truth. I am always with the baby 24/7 and I have no time for men, in fact, I hate them all at the mom.

About seeking refuge somewhere else, I feel I can't do it, long story short, H has let me down big time. I fell pregnant when I wasn't ready to have a baby and I wasn't sure about my future with H. He took me on a short holiday to convince me 'it'll be alright" he works for himself, earning lots of money). Has great investments and stuff and therefore I shouldn't worry about finances(Now I regret,coz lam broke, can't even afford my baby's food leave alone mine) So, I fell for it. Seeking refuge and being evicted cause I fell for a blackmail promise is totally unjustifiable to me. He owns properties and therefore I'd rather hang on to the one our baby was born into by force :( (I know its sounds odd and so wrong more so impossible, but I've got to give it a try)

I am terribly sorry to bug you all with my novel life. Its rather nasty when you think about the people you once trusted and loved dearly can turn to be animal-like towards you. :( :( :( I HATE this feeling, but thank to you all for being here to listen and advise. (Ps I live in N.L)

Lovelymummy - I know what you said about gong elsewhere, but just in case you change your mind, I just had a quick squizz online and found this -

"Who can go into a refuge?

Any woman who needs to escape from domestic violence or abuse can go into a refuge at any time. It does not matter whether or not you are married to or living with your abuser, or whether or not you have children.

How do I arrange refuge accommodation?

You can call the Freephone National 24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247, which is run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, and which will find a refuge space for you if you want this. Many refuge organisations have public contact numbers, and if you want you can contact these yourself (see the Women's Aid National Network A-Z of refuges, or look in the telephone book for your local Women's Aid organisation or other domestic violence service). You can also contact refuge organisations through the Police, the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (UK) or 1850 60 90 90 (ROI), social services or the Citizens Advice Bureau."

As I said I do recall there being a refuge near to where I used to live in NL.

You might also want to see about speaking Women's Aid generally or the CAB to see what they suggest about your situation.

I am sorry that haven't been getting taken seriously enough but it does at least now sound as though your GP is beginning to get the picture and do something constructive.

Unfortunately I can't really offer any more help or advice at this point - as I am most certainly not qualified to counsel/offer legal guidance but I am most certainly here to listen and be a sounding board for you. x

Hello all. Again, so sorry. I feel guilty for not checking in. Just can't face it :(

Lovelymummy, I escaped from violence about 9 years ago, and it is really SO worth it although it is hard. Having said that, I recognise that there is no point trying to persuade a DV victim to leave because until 'the right time' nothing anyone can say will make a difference. When it was my 'right time', nothing could stop me from leaving :)

All the best to you. MN is a great place to get a listening ear when you need one.

Ladies, how are you all today?

I have been absent, or at least, sort of - for a few days. Nothing exciting, just busy, felt a bit under the weather and suddenly realised that we're going away this weekend and I have done nothing to prepare! Currently dealing with stockpiling cleaning stuff and old newspaper in the event of floods of cat pee whilst we're away (ILs coming in to feed and empty litter tray), and the mountain that is the washing pile....which I added to yesterday when I brought back a load of old blankets and sheets from Dads place.