I have been sectioned.

[lazyhazydaisy]

I have just got access to the internet. I am much less petrified than I was at first but definitely 0 out of ten. I have a tribunal and if that fails I think I will be here until July. I feel as though I am living in a nightmare. I have never felt so alone.

Shakey, please don't diagnose on here.

Imperial I am not diagnosing? I am empathising and echoing Daisy's post made at 12.01 about needing help.

I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you. It's an absolute outrage.

Have you seen this?
topdocumentaryfilms.com/psychiatry-industry-death/
I know it's by the Scientologists, but there is plenty of truth in it.

I have suffered some trauma and I know that time can heal it. Give yourself time. I wish you well.

Hi there,
I'm new, I've been reading through what you're going through. I hope you feel better now, you're outside of care? Keep calm, hope all is ok xx

I rang the crisis team 6 times tonight and they didn't ring back until 11. The man advised me to sue and to make the police pay for the new door. I sent the letters to the CEO of the Trust and the head of complaints, Andrew Rawnsley and the CEO of Alcatraz. Then I wrote a very long letter to the bastard psychiatrist. Reasons to be sectioned according to rethink:

1. Self neglect. No chance. Since that bad snow two years ago I have at least 3 months of fairly yum food in.
2. Your own safety. Hmm. Felt fairly safe and very warm reading a Mary Wesley book in bed until the police assault.
3. Harm to others. Oh, when I did the village teas and part ran the village bridge club I delighted in hitting them with their umbrellas.

I suggested that he may have had measles when they covered that part at medical school.

In fact, given that I apparently self-neglect, have no regard for my own safety and am a danger to others, I might as well become a mercenary. I am slimmer by the day so I could be a cat burglar too. I don't see me working again in a legit manner after this. If you want me to kill anyone then send me a pm. I have no idea of the going rate so please don't rip me off. Although I would rather go to prison than alcatraz. You can smoke in prison, and have a tv in your room. Tracey told me.

You should be ok - you have to want to get out of this. It might have been horrific but it's not your entire life. Contact people outside of this circle.

I have no one but my dog. I don't know where my dc are where they are at school. I have no human contact with anyone. I only see the survivors. I have aged ten years in the last 7 months. I used to be very attractive but now I look like a tramp. I have no money and I have no hope. I might as well make friends with the rats. I didn't smile for 4 months in Alcatraz and my face has seized up. My teeth are falling out. I am told that I am not mentally ill and therefore deserve no help. There is a waiting list for counselling for 6 months. I asked the social workers for help finding out where my dc are but they told me that that was my problem.

The mental health system is a child abuse system. I will never see my grandchildren. I have no idea what my dc have been told about me. I have ordered the valium, and Fanny can pay for the gin.

i really feel for you and am also very concerned for you. please would you contact MIND who are a campaigning organisation who fight for the rights of people like you. i worked with MIND years ago and the local one that i worked in was user led and a collective. they are progressive. somebody else mentioned SANE. please reach out to these people who will help you and fight your corner, nobody should have to live like this.
the way you have been treated and left is beyond hideous. that can be dealt with when you are in a stringer position to do so. right now it is about survival and basics... please focus on that. your children need you no matter what you feel right now. as to where they are, you can follow that up with help but i am aware that you said that you didn't want to talk about them.
the mental health system is often shit and abusive. organisations like mind have campaigned for years and years on these issues. you are almost certainly suffering from ptsd from what happened to you and sorry to armchair diagnose but to me it is obvious as i suffered from ptsd too for different reasons.
please look outside of the shit you are currently in and reach out to MIND or to a local mumsnetter here. let us help you. please. i am very affected by your posts and want good things to happen to you. you have to let something move/ change in order for that to occur. things CAN improve honestly, let people help you with the practical survival stuff and then when you are stronger and in a safe home etc you can sue the arse of the bastards who abused you so badly and get resolution i hope. MIND also offer counselling. they will support you. talk to your advocate ( i believe you said you had one) about free counselling in your area run by the charity sectory not through a GP. this can often be fast tracked and will not go on your notes and will be confidential. most importantly please keep posting here. i am concerned.

Thanks. Floods of tears but, as Boffinmum did, it helps. I can't trace my dc and thanks for not mentioning them, so to speak. I have explained that I cannot face anyone local. God knows what school they are attending. God knows where they are. God knows what they are going through.

I don't it would be fair for them to see me. I look about 60. I hate every bastard who works in 'mental' health. I honestly have no hope. Some people on this thread have seemed to experience something similar. Could we form some sort of group? I will try MIND but I don't have a mental illness so I am not sure that I would qualify. I wonder if the mumsnetters who have told me that I am very unwell are paid to spout this crap?

I just can't go on. I gave birth to them and now I don't know how much they are suffering. I have been told that they have been told that I have abandoned them.

I have respect for Viva and Shiney but by God. Some police are sadistic bastards.

And 'mental' health nurses are worse. Why not just go and watch a musical if you want an evening of 'fun and laughter'?

I did email women's hour about the police brutality. Would it help if anyone else did. Most people I know of are too traumatised to talk about it.

Or Claudia Hammond?

nananina was one of the ones telling me I would look back on this hell and realise that it would turn out as a poitive experience so she can contribute to the sapphire gin to go with the 900mg of valium.

And she can also empty the buckets in my bedroom.

Eldest ds is 15, just the age when he needs his mum.

And scrape the fungi off my bedroom floor.

< applauds aesop'slabials' post very loudly > Hi Daisy- posted on your thread under a different name ... believe more than two people on this thread believe you about your dreadful experiences as an inpatient ... not been in myself , but have had the sort of experiences with mh workers most people cannot bring themselves to believe , and seen many acquaintances & friends have felt lost in the system ( you would hope is a uniquely bad local service but work of user-led groups suggests otherwise )
Also done placements in mh facilities and been worried by the "them and us" attitudes which some mh workers fall into despite best intentions.

Brilliant idea to try to set up some sort of support network and I would take part if you like , though can't post much ( if you want to check what I posted I'll PM my other name ) Mainly though I hope you can have the sort of support recent memebr of crisis team gave .... obviously you need comprehensive support with the trauma and house practicalities .
I agree with the poster who said surely clever Mners can come up with useful suggestions for a complex situation .

Sorry to sound disjointed , time for bed ....hope you can get some sleep but if you're getting up at dawn / staying up so you can have a walk without meeting people you know , you're probably up already ... you know this isn't the best thing for your health , but I understand why you feel the need , if that is the reason ... ignore if not
Very best wishes

Sorry , that should read "believe me more than two people" etc

I'm still six pages behind on this thread, so maybe someone's already mentioned the film I watched last night: "Poppy Shakespeare" on 4OD. Daisy, you might find it triggering. Other people - it's a drama, and actually less horrific than what Daisy and others are describing here. But depressing, and moving, enough.

garlicbutter - I was very impressed with Poppy Shakespeare and agree less grim than the reality in many cases

btw , Daisy you mention NanaNina's posts and I do remember she said she was very shocked by some incidents things she saw on the ward when she wa an inpatient - she was giving her most honest views and would be very upset if they distressed you ( am not NN ! nor a mh worker - placements put me off all hopes of quietly trying to work with clients in a truly respectful way ( managers squashed such efforts at that time )...good job some people are more determined than I was because there are some very decent mh workers around

I saw that, Garlic. It is more like a day centre if I remember. I'll watch it again. It got very good reviews. I seem to remember the same obsession with the drugs trolley. I am so glad I flushed all my meds down the loo. Didn't they all become institutionalised.

Someone tell Andrew Rawnsley!

Thanks!

Ward Round: 'Daisy is responding very well to her increased drug regime. She may be well enough to go home for some leave if the chaos team make the 70 mile journey each way to ensure she continues to be compliant.'

The only time that I have fillings in my molars. I drank 2 litres of water in front of the clots. I looked up the side effects and constantly complained of a dry mouth. Not only that but I requested those things you take for constipation. Spent ages on the loo. I decided not to claim to have a constanty errect penis though. Senna, that was it. And i asked for the senna in a very embarassed fashion. It is like prison. You pick up the trick pretty quickly.

laxatives, that was it.