I have been sectioned.

[lazyhazydaisy]

I have just got access to the internet. I am much less petrified than I was at first but definitely 0 out of ten. I have a tribunal and if that fails I think I will be here until July. I feel as though I am living in a nightmare. I have never felt so alone.

I saw the locum once and the regular GP twice, and on that basis I was sectioned. I have read the behind the scenes correspondence, which involved at least 12 members of backroom staff (the mental health team) and that is what it took to get me sectioned.

I would urge anyone in this position to get hold of their notes. If they had given me some warning I would have invited them in for a cup of tea and biscuits. They might have even written me a red letter warning me that if I didn't let me in I would have faced 4 months of terrifying imprisonment.

And I didn't even know it would have been 4 months. I was entitled to one tribuanl before June. If that had failed I would have been entitled to another tribunal before December 2012. If that had failed I would have been entitled to one tribunal a year for the rest of my life.

Bloody hell, Daisy... it is like something from a Victorian novel. Just dreadful.

Some people have been in there for years.

This latest explanation may explain the terrified confusion of the beginning of this thread.

I have no idea what to do except to try and eat. And try to fix the washing machine. And keep the rats at bay.

Fucking hell. It's like Wilkie Collins or something. What practical things can we do to help?

I see no career plan except suicide. I have been out for 3 months. I cannot leave my ruined house. I don't want sympathy. Perhaps the people at the beginning of the thread telling me that I am in the right place might think again before they spout their 'it's your illness'. Those are the types who probably work for this system.

I have found out how to get drugs from India. Even if the house is a wreck it will be something for the dc. ANYTHING, including nothingness would be better than day after day and nightmare after nightmare. I have arranged for the dog to go to a loving home.

It is not suicide due to a fucking mental illness, it is as a result of being unable to cope with the dehumanising humanity. I have no hope, nor hope of hope. The cruelest thing would be to prolong this sub-existence.

I will be leaving this thread for my dc to read. And for them to know that they are not inheriting one of the myriad supposed diseases that I have given my all to deny. They say I am not suffering from a mental illness now so I am seeing no reason not to quit when I am ahead.

I hope that the police get to read this and cull the ones who do what they did. I hope that that hellhole is turned into a hospice.

I have no heating, hot water, broken doors, roof dripping down two floors, rats, a sick dog. No human contact except on mumsnet.

(shiney, Do not give away my location. After the first two weeks of that hell I knew there was no future)

xx

I lost a post. The most important thing is that my dc knew that they do not have a hereditary illness, although I had to battle to get out with a clean bill of health. Despite the best efforts of the 'health' 'care' 'professionals' to get me, unsuccessfully to gain 'insight'.

That hellhole should be turned into a hospice.

Daisy - your DC would be absolutely devastated if you killed yourself. I'm sure you know that really.

Your life may be shit at the moment but I see no reason why you won't gradually be able to pull things together again, as you've been doing already. You are clearly a strong intelligent woman with a lot left to give, so don't give up on yourself.

Daisy I understand you have been through a terrible ordeal but you need to keep calm and try to gather your strength. Suicide is never the answer and you would just be proving right those who have mistreated you. Is there anyone you trust in real life that you can contact?

Well, that is just silly. My dc have suffered quite enough.
Before the drugs arrive from INDIA I would like to have the damage to my house restored. I would like someone to come round and either replace my doors and restore them or replace them. Ditto the roof. Ditto the rat damage.
If they can incarcerate me to the extent that my (very expensive) that my house insurance is invalide due to 4 months incarceration they can make right the financial losses are paid for. My house is over 400 years old and there is a great deal of specialist work to be paid for.

I also want the fraudulent DLA form to be investigated by who ever looks into that.

I also want intensive private therapy due to the trauma that I have suffered.

I also want my medical notes to be amended.

Given that the trauma has cost around £100k, it should about break even.

I am not commiting suicide, I am going to a better place. At least it might be a bit warmer there.

I will be ringing the head of the chaos team tomorrow to get her to put some sort of team in charge to project manage the damage.

There is no life after that hell, but I would like my dc to inherit some sort of dwelling fit for human habitiation.

I am frozen. The dog is frozen. I don't think that the lock that is put on is vaiid in terms of the house insurance.

Who the hell are these clowns? I used to have a lovely house and now it is a wreck. I am in the odd position of not being able to leave the house and also looking in disgust at what they have done to it.

Even the drips agree on that.

I will also get the estate agents around tomorrow to work out how much value has been taken off my house in the name of (God help us all) 'helping me'.

Half the kitchen electrical sockets don't work due to the roof leaks.
And I need a new carpet for the fungi-soaked kitchen carpet.

It is very late but I get no rest or sleep through the worry of what tomorrow might bring.

Is there any sort of insurance against the police breaking in again? I don't lock the door, just in case they do any more damage. This may be putting me in danger but I would rather take my chances with a passing rapist/murderer than have anymore police/twats from mental health bursting in under the impression that they are doing some sort of public duty.

I am absolutely frozen and wearing all the clothes that are dry, if smelly. There is no way that I could have a child in this house. There is fungi growing through the leaking roof.

My wrists are not strong enough to turn the filter on the washing machine due to the injuries caused by the ratcheted handcuffs.

Someone (Alan Sugar?) should look at this system and fire practically everything. Mental illness? My arse. I can't even put on the electric blanket due to the water pouring in.

Hi. I have been following your thread for a while and I couldn't not reply to you. Please know that you are not alone and someone is listening. I am in Melbourne in Australia and just wanted to you to know people care and I have been praying for you. I really hope these terrible events can be sorted in time and you will find happiness again.

Thanks, that means a lot.

When I was released I go the house tidy but now I have let it all go. I'd quite like to have visit and show the mess. I hope you are boiling there. I am freezing! I am planning to let them see the mess.

I kept so strong in that hellhole and I can't be bothered anymore, apart from the pooch.

My plan tomorrow is to get an estate agent round to tell me how much the damage to the door would cost to get mended/repaired.

I have lodged this thread with my lawyer for the dc when they are 21.

Goodniight and thank you. It is getting light here.
x

I dont really post anymore, but couldnt read and not say anything.

I am absolutely shocked at the way you were treated. It was totally inhumane, kafkaesque, terrifying. I am not suprised, however. I do understand how things enter this twilight zone once social services/mental health/police get the bit between their teeth, all in the name of "helping" people.

I would say though, the absolutely best revenge would be living and living well. Don't let them have the satisfaction of turning round and saying "see we knew she was crazy. We should have helped her more." Or giving them ammunition to section you again. You do not sound crazy to me.

Can you go somewhere warm? A 24 hour supermarket? Anywhere at all, take your laptop and dongle, and try and see if you can work out a way out of this mess. Sell the house, rent somewhere decent so you can have your kids back. I personally wouldnt try and sue people, I think it would backfire, but just get yourself THROUGH this as best you can. I know you are strong, heck you survived a living hell, you just have to be stronger a bit longer before it all gets better.

All I can say is Ive been through some hard times, just keep your darkest thoughts to yourself, keep on going, dont give them ammunition. Just legally claw back a life for yourself. Move forwards. Do it for your kids. A thread won't mean shit to your kids, but you there, thriving, absolutely will.

Keep on going, Daisy. Im sure with mumsnet's clever nest of vipers you can work out how to make it all work.

This will cheer you Half the mental hospital near us has been closed down!!!
Just think those drips lost their jobs !!!Sweet revenge oh so sweet I magine them all in a queue for the dole begging for a job
"What was your job?" asks Jobcenre "Well I stuffed folk in a hospital "
" I am afraid you will be long-term employed " reply the Jobcentre

'I am not suprised, however. I do understand how things enter this twilight zone once social services/mental health/police get the bit between their teeth, all in the name of "helping" people.'
(said kitsonkitty)

Dead right. The idea that they are helping people is the greatest joke.

When I'd go down for a cigarette and have a bit of a laugh with other inmates I would consciously recompose my face into a neutral position in case I was noted as being 'manic', or 'high'.

I lasted that long without cracking but being out is proving beyond me. Just another day, waking and realising I am not in that place, and then paralysis.

And fear of any reason to go back in to that hellhole staffed by powermad twerps.

I think it's totally normal to collapse after a long period of strain. In particular, having to put on a calm exterior while feeling like total shit takes a massive toll on the psyche... and when the potential consequences of NOT seeming totally calm and balanced are so terrifying that effect must be even greater. I think you are doing pretty well, in the circumstances.

I wish there was some practical help we could give here. It is awful to think of your poor ancient doors and mouldy roof (and the mould won't help your health either). Have your lawyers said anything helpful about compensation you might be entitled to?

It's always darkest before the dawn, my lovely. Stay with us, and we'll hold your hand through everything you need to do. You've been treated badly in the past, but that does not mean you have to make that your fate for the future as well. Let's work towards helping you have the life you want and not the life other people feel the need to impose on you. Baby steps for now. It can be done.

I just spoke to the head of the 'recovery' team for an hour. She said that the 'recovery' team come round for an hour once a fortnight. I told her that I needed intensive daily counselling with one person (not to have to explain it all again for each new person). I made a list and told her practically everything that I have said here.

To her credit, she did listen. I gave her my email and will wait to hear. Re: the invalid house insurance, she suggested that I tell them that I was ill. I WAS NOT ILL, I WAS ASSAULTED AND INCARCERATED.

The house is now a pigsty but I don't care anymore. I have no human contact so who cares? She said that if I was not coping then I would have to go back to alcatraz. I told her that I would lie on the road and wait for a lorry to run over me rather than that.

She has never even been to Alcatraz. She suggested complaining but I am too scared to raise my case. They will say that I am mentally ill. And I wouldn't even know where to start.

Dog is fed and walked (at 5am) and I am going back to my smelly unwashed bed.

I was very calm. I am not calm now. I have gone past desperate. All I want is permanent oblivion. And a new door. And a police prosecution. I have ordered 900mg of valium from India and they should arrive in 2 weeks.

I have no rest, day or night from the dehumanising hell of that place. I cannot believe the drugs they force people to take. These are new drugs and God knows what the side-effects will be discovered in time.

Does anyone know the side-effects of 800mg of seroquel on an 8 stone (and sinking fast) woman? She was the first person who listened to me and she didn't appear to be able to offer any help. If I had taken them I doubt I would be able to string a sentence together; just another mindless zombie, I guess.

Who works in these places, in between their Chinese meals and dancing whilst patients pray to die in the night? Why me? She was reading my medical notes and couldn't even figure out why me.