Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

[Ineversignedupforthis]

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

Ok, have fallen on my backside on the ice this morning...tail-bone now hurting, and just feel that my whole body has been jolted out of sync...bleddy weather!

Stbx (6 days) reported black ice coating pavements and roads this am. DD wore her Yak Traks to go for the bus. Oooch on your behalf

6 days....

Ooh Parsley I feel for you, I'm sure you predicted this would happen further up the thread.

I was out for dinner at an old friend's house last night, they used to live next door and we were always in one another's houses.

I won't be going far for the next couple of weeks, xh is away with work til the 22nd; from tomorrow.

He got the sol's letter on wednesday apparently. He is not contesting it and is happy to do what I've requested.
I asked him if he'd realised that I was being fair about it and that I could've chosen to be a bitch about naming the puppeteer and charging all the costs to him?
He acknowledged that I was being more than fair about it all.
It's funny really, he seemed really down about it and a little defeated, quite what he expected to happen I don't know.

I'm going to finish the woodwork painting in the stairs and landing today.

I'm so glad it's half-term hols now, no mad dash in the mornings - great!

That will make things run a bit smoother Isis, but like you say, what did he think was going to happen... I'm glad its half-term too. Not good at 7 in the morning.

He was geared up for a fight, and then found he didn't need to be. Say the word divorce and many people think conflict, particularly in you stbxh's case (I know he is xp he isn't technically xh yet). But in fact the system aims for everyone to be supported financially and practically in moving on from their ex-marriage. Except in very serious cases, the financial settlement if it goes to court, does not take conduct into account, and focusses on the needs of each party.

I think it was quite brave of you to ask him that, Isis, and am glad that he acknowledged your fairness.

The thing is he can be a really nice bloke.
He almost seems human some times!!

It's all very sad that it's come to this, but there's no point in waiting around.
Hopefully it will be fairly trauma-free.

Just typed a post, only to have it swallowed by MN being offline... Apparently we are hard-wired to remember the good times at the end of a relationship Isis. Can't remember why. Hopefully, all will be well for you regarding procedures. You have been more than reasonable in the circumstances. If things change, you can up the ante.

What is with the off-line stuff at the mo?
The number of times I get half way through writing a post to have it swallowed up, it's off-putting to say the least.

Well xh is on his train going away with work (won't say where as it may out me), I'm really glad he's going away.
I don't have to see him for 2 weeks, yah!
Of course the fact that he won't see the puppeteer on valentine's hasn't even crossed my mind!
Although he has organised a birthday gift for me from DD, she's stashed it in her room somewhere.

He seems torn between what he's given up and what he's chosen to keep.
The thing is that he'll always be tied to me and the puppeteer through our children so he's just making his own future more complex.

I'm looking forward to being away in a couple of weeks.
My team are assembled, just got team meetings via skype to do before we all meet up at the venue.

I think it will do you good going away Isis. You ok Pink?

Yes am fine, had a very weird week tracking down an account from 2001 - as I keep saying, I keep thinking the accounts are done, and then something else turns up. Booked mediation assessment, reformulated offer (it's the same but fleshed out), feel a little more kindly towards stbx, and am gearing up for another try at getting what I want informally. I am a trier!

4 days of marriage left - Thurs is the day. Thought I had told stbx already, but told him again today

Ok. We need a glass of MN on Thurs then.

Perhaps we could have a partaayyy!

I can be free after 8.30pm on thursday.

Xh has sent DD photos of where he's currently working, warm,sunny and palm trees.(not usa)
DD's thrilled to see daddy's office.
However he was concerned that I would think he was 'rubbing my nose' in the fact he was somewhere warm and sunny.
The thought never crossed my mind, it seems odd that he's now concerned with upsetting me via e-mail!
I'm convinced he's as mixed up by all this as I am.

I think I might start a party thread in Relationships on Thurs... there are a few other MNers who know that's the day

Hi you two...you Ok? Party thread on as of 30 mins or so ago

Ok, coming accross...hold the tightrope for me!

Hello Both how did the party go?

I've been so busy on the phone/skype that I have hardly had chance to lurk on here least of all post.
Getting all ready for next weekend.

I got my divorce petition on tuesday.
It was a really odd moment reading xh's confession statement. All so final.
Not that there is any going back.
Mind you xh has been skyping DD from his hotel and has been mega friendly to me. All very strange.

If the divorce goes smoothly I ought to be divorced by the time the one year anniversary of him leaving comes around. Another party thread perhaps?

ooh yes another divorce party, though I was out shopping at Asda for most of mine .

There was a meeting here on Friday am, to do with mh service user involvement. After spending Thursday cleaning the downstairs more or less single-handedly (have been on housework strike since Christmas , I still had not bought the food for the meeting being held here the next day, even as I wrote the first post for the party thread. Our local ASDA is about 15 min drive away, which round here counts as close It is open 24 hours and I find it much more restful to shop in the late evening. So by the time I got back most people had gone to bed, quite a few dropped by, and a virtual party never ends, if you want to pop in for the after-party party

Meeting yesterday morning went very well, and now I have the makings of some very nice sandwiches, and some fruit No cake though, just the cheese scones.

It's a real bugger when the cake is all eaten, it's as if people know that's the one thing you want to eat the most.

We've had a great day today, one of my friends who now lives in scotland was back in town and took me and DD out to lunch, fab.
Not so fab is the mad scottish songs she's taught DD who was singing them as she went to sleep.
Said friend is a yorkshire girl who after 6 years north of the border sounds very scottish to us; but her local friends keep wanting to hear her speak so they can laugh at her yorkshire accent.
A great girlie day was had by all.

There wasn't any cake in the first place, I mentioned it cos I know we all like cake

Sounds like a great day, Isis

Hi Isis...fancy choosing Asda over your party Pink...

Well I didn't expect to be so long at Asda - and here I must confess that George at Asda had just got some nice clothes in, so I rather treated myself in a modest way

DS is coming to stay for a bit soon, which I am really looking forward to! Hope we can manage not to argue - yesterday I had arguments with DD and stbx. I am no longer keeping quiet for an easy life.

Good for you Pink.
I find life lots easier for me now I don't keep quiet, it wasn't much of a 'quiet life' anyway when I think about it.

Hi Parsley, are you ok?

We've had a great half-term, been great not having to share DD at the weekend and not having to see xh.

I'm really looking forward to being away next weekend. I love the people and the work that we do. It's a lovely environment to be in, very supportive.
I've got loads to do still though so may not be on MN much but am thinking of you both.

I'm not so bad ta...struggling with over-locker, which is working but the tensions seem to be out a bit. About to go off and whatch the bleddy dvd again, see if I can trouble-shoot. Added to that dd has warmed her trousers over the glass-fronted gas fire this morning, mellting them on to the glass...trousers ruined and a brown lump of caramelised trouser on the glass that doesn't seem to want to shift...any ideas? Will be a good weekend Isis. What did you buy at George Pink?

Try the Good Housekeeping thread, Parsley :) And I'm sure there's a sewing one where you might find advice re over-locker.

A spring green light coat, 3 long sleeved tops all same pattern but different material (one pale amethyst, one amethyst and pink print on fawn background, one green print which is same material as trims on coat :)), one longsleeved navy tunic with drop drawstring waist, one green short sleeved top with little black horse silhouttes (sp?) all over it. I am well pleased - though haven't tried anything on apart from the coat - must do that in case I have to exchange for next size up!

Looking forward to hearing all about your conferency thingy when you get back, Isis