Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

[Ineversignedupforthis]

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

Hope you and your boobies have a good night Isis.
Singing, "Skippy, Skippy....Skippy the bush kangaroo" for the benefit of Pink.

I remember the boomerang programme, I am so old!

We had a lovely evening, talked for hours about everything and nothing.

I found out xh's 'best' friend is really unhappy about it all and is feeling very bitter. He's cut xh out of his life.
I do speak to him sometimes so may give him a ring. Xh isn't worth getting riled about.

It was just lovely to be out somewhere different with someone different.
Lots of chat about the past daft things our gang used to do.
We laughed most of the evening.

Glad you had a good time Isis...but do you remember Skippy?
Laughing is really good for you.

I never really watched Skippy. Champion the Wonder Horse, now... I used to charge about to the music, being a horse, whenever it came on Children's Favourites.

Isis this was the 'geordie' wasn't it? did you find out where he comes from specifically?

BTW, finding out about ex's ex-BF must have been very validating (if you needed any more validation)

Do you remember the Wonder horse one, where the song was. "A horse is a horse, of course, of course....the amazing Mr Ed".

Yes, he talked didn't he. Also loved My Favourite Martian.

Don't remember the Martian one. I am 51 soon. Am I the right age?

I am 59 and we didn't get a telly till I was 12. There were a lot of American comedy shows around then, in the early evening - the Munsters, Car 54 where are you, Pettycoat Junction. And a bit later, Bewitched of course. The Martian had special powers, can't remember what, his antennae used to come out when he used them, I think. (sounds rude, doesn't it?)

It does...probably a metaphor for summat else Pink.

I'm still devoting time and effort to my stairs and landing.
The plaster colour has bled through the first coat of white emulsion so now it's had a coat of sealent.
I do hope it appreciates all my hard work!!

Hi Isis, am full of admiration for all your decorating :)

Solicitor is applying for absolute at the first possible opportunity, mid Feb, and will be applying to court to go the legal route for sorting settlement. I await developments with interest

I am at the solicitor this morning.
I'm quite nervous about it. I've never gone through a divorce before.

The decorating is taking my mind off everything mostly.
Making the place look different is part of letting go I suppose.

Although I do sometimes find myself having one way conversations with xh or ow as I'm working.
I find it cathartic to say out loud the things that I'm thinking/feeling.
I'm fairly certain that there would be little point in having those sort of conversations with either of them but do have a need to at least voice the words within.

sometimes you need something to distract you. Don't knock it, nowt wrong with one-way convos either!

yy to the one-way convos, let it out! Hope the sol goes well, I was nervous too but it turns out you only have to take one step at a time (surprise!), and have time to think between steps.

Well it went ok at sol's.
She'll send xh a letter stating that I am petitioning for divorce due to adultery and we'll see what he does with it.

I feel really light and happy about it.
I did wonder how I would be, but it is a huge relief to be getting it under way.
Also the fact that I'm doing it puts me in control of it, at least for now.
It's great to think it's going to end some day soon.

It's 5 months tomorrow since he left.

Glad you feel better after it.

So much for feeling better...
Had a major wobble after reading the sol's draft letter last night, it's been sent today.
Been teary and sad all day today.
I think it's lots of pent up emotion coming out at last.
It's like it's all newly happened, xh leaving, Mum dying etc.
I'm tired and have struggled to get warm despite a warm house, I think there may be some delayed shock coming out.
I'm going to have an early night tonight and have a lovely day planned with DD tomorrow.

Tis horrid Isis...been there before. Also, hard to feel upbeat when so much energy involved in just keeping warm. Put some warm socks on, and have a good day tommorow.

Feeling a bit mis myself. Figures show definite cocklodging, timetable for legal process of settlement through, mediator wanting me and him to make separate assessment appointments, but am worried marital arrangements re finances have gone on too long without me taking action, or that stbx will argue we agreed we would live off capital.

And he's still here. And DD still thinks I am the unreasonable one.

Looks like we're all in it today!
DD had a major breakdown after tea because her teacher had stapled her sock puppet to the wall.
They've all made puppets of one sort or another for this term's project. Usually the made at home stuff goes on display on the side.
DD is distraught that her newly made 'new friend' has been attached to the wall.
Little angel that she is, she loves everything completely and utterly and empathises with their problems.
So she's really upset about a staple through Snuggly Snake's tail.

Is it wrong of me to have an image of Graham Chapman strapped to the cross 'life of brian' style?
It is an expensive sock though, joules don't you know!

I will be discussing it with her teacher on monday.

Of course I don't expect it will get taken down on my account.
After the damage done to other 'models' I'm gratefull it's out of the way where some little shit heavy handed child can't damage it.

Pink....hugs....unlikely that you would have agreed to live on the capital. I'm sure you present as being more financially savvy than that. Sorry its hard for you right now. Isis...hope you get your Joules sock back! (how posh is that!). Think they assume these things are surplus, and don't always tell you what they're gonna do with these things when they ask for them...

Have been racking my brains to come up with a reason why snakes like being stapled to the wall. Sadly, nothing has occured. I feel sorry for the poor snake, but then I am soppy, hated handwashing DS's fluppet Mouse cos I felt I was drowning him!

A little googling has put my mind at rest a bit, stbx says I am in a minority of one trusting what my sol says, should not have engaged with him on this. Minority of one among who, says I. The usual, says he enigmatically - I suppose he means friends he has talked to. The worst case is 50/50, which is what he's after. got to give it a go, it can depend rather on the judge you get (it looks like we'll get to court atm, though I was hoping stbx would get advice and change his mind)

Why od seperated patners insist on trying to keep as much money as possible to themselves when there are kids involved.
Surely each party wants what's best for the kids?