Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

[Ineversignedupforthis]

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

I have (some) money Parsley, problem is I'm unwilling to support stbx any more. We were supposed to be putting equal amounts into joint account.

Got you, Pink.

You would not believe how much woodchip a small 3 bed terrace can have in it, and 2 rooms are already free of it. I got rid of it from the bathroom and kitchen years ago.
After it's gone from the stairs and landing there's just anaglypta in the front room to get rid of.
Surely it must be a fire hazard!
The paper on the ceiling came off in one big strip with nothing left behind, hurray. I was worried about steam stripping the sloping ceiling but I don't have to now.

DD is having her first school night sleepover at xh's tomorrow night, I'm a bit concerned about it.
She had some really shouty nightmares last night and I was up 3 times.

On a positive note I got some money back from school today, I'd assumed that the money I'd paid for the 2 lunches DD didn't have; last week; was gone for good, but I got it back, Yeah!
I now have twice as much money as I did this morning, the day's looking up.

That's a bottle of plonk for tomorrow night sorted...

Now you need to have a root down the back of the sofa for chocolate money!

Anyone would think you had only one thing in mind...a chocolately booze-up in front of the tv!

A friend of mine is coming round to decompress from family stress instead, we may have the wine though.
Her exh died suddenly at new year and her middle (estranged) daughter is staying with her whilst post mortem and funeral arrangements are done.
Suddenly Dad is the greatest man to have ever lived and it's driving my friend mad.
The truth is he wasn't a bad sort just easily led; mainly to the pub; and not really present when the kids were growing up.
Added to this said daughter doesn't have custody of her own kids; my friend does, all very complex but not helped by hypocracy.

People have complicated lives...everyone seems to have Stuff. None of us escape unscathed. Sounds like a night away from it will be good for her.

It's funny really she's already had more stuff in her life by mid30's than most people have in an entire life.
She just picks herself up and gets on with it, she's an inspiration.

You're right that we've all got stuff, the defining thing is what we choose to do with our 'stuff'.

Currently I'm living in gratitude that xh left, life is so much easier and less stressfull than when he lived here.
All the crappy stuff me and DD have been through in the past few months and it's still better than him being here with no crap.

I'm looking forward to my 'non-date' on friday, it'll be fun if nothing else.

Friday will be good for you. Will be good for me, as I won't have to be up at 7 on saturday! Am faffing about with hats at the moment...keep thinking the design can be improved, but really just need to produce a batch for sale, before I go back to messing with the proven formula! [bsmile]. Just so we have every season's smiley on this thread.

{bbiscuit} I love these, thought this one looked really funny.

DD had a sleep over at xh's last night, she had a major strop at 8am which continued until school. Cue DD sobbing through registration.

Xh ended up round here looking bewildered about it all.
Like it's any surprise why she acts up!
He just doesn't get it.

She's 5.5 and in the past 6 months has had to deal with :
new grandparents and aunties/cousins
daddy not having any holiday during the summer/any school holiday actually
daddy leaving right before a new school year starts
grandma being incredibly ill with lots of anxiety over how long was left
grandma dying a week before xmas
daddy refusing to see her over xmas, then changing his mind
daddy telling her she has a sister
seeing said sister and the puppeteer
a new teacher
finally starting to stay over at daddy's
coping with being away from mummy

I think she's coping incredibly well with it all, we both are.
Of course if he were to acknowledge his part in all this he may have to acceed that what he did was wrong, we can't have xh being in the wrong can we?

So the burns biscuit didn't work then!

And DD probably got to sleep when?

Here's a [bbiscuit] Never done a biscuit before... He really is a numpty Isis.

You are completely spot on Parsley he is a numpty.

I think she did go to sleep around her usual time Pink; 6.45pm; but she was missing seeing me in the morning and didn't articulate it.
Xh just doesn't spend enough time with her/know her well enough to gently uncover the underlying problem.
Of course when he is the problem and won't acknowledge that then it gets complicated.

We've said that next time she should let him know she's missing me and then she can ring me to have a chat.
She just doesn't understand why she has to see us seperately.
I've told him that too.
I'm making it clear to him that we must tread with care and that this is a long journey of healing for her.
No doubt there will be something from her childhood that she gets hung up on, I just don't want it to be because we got sloppy and didn't put her first.

I'm feeling quite sad just now, it would've been my Dad's 87th birthday last week and this week is the anniversary of when Mum and Dad first started seeing each other 50 years ago.
My StepDad is 87 next week and is struggling without Mum.
I think I'm struggling without her too.
I just want to pick up the phone and talk to her, and I can't.

Yes of course DD was missing you, and this was a new bit of (not exactly) routine to deal with (well, a new routine if it's going to happen again, iyswim).

talk to your mum anyway [hug]

Update on stbx - he has refused my offer, won't budge from 50/50. Sol got the letter, but didn't send me a scan of it, I've asked for one, can't wait to see what he's written [bhmm]

I'm about to start all that next week Pink.
Solicitors next wednesday, I just want it over with.

I just can't get my head round doing any more of that stuff at the moment, and don't seem to be taking any hurt. Concentrating on getting up in the morning, making hats, and not killing dd who today has returned from school with gloss paint on her trousers from art (white gloss paint, aboriginal art, wtaf?) distributed marshmallows all over the counter in the kitchen, and dropped a squeezy bottle of mayo on the kitchen floor for the second time this month, breaking it. Despite being plastic, they don't bounce well...

Letter is arrogant, also asks my sol what grounds I have, when I have told him in an email. I said he should consult a sol of his own, he says he is representing himself. I veer from extreme stress to laid back amusement.

DS (23) came for a meal and to collect post (he moved out a while back). Thought he would be a Visiting Adult, of course not, he brought washing, and has gone out for a drink with a mate. It's just like old times. I'm not complaining really. The cat was ecstatic, he is her One True Love

That's really sweet about the cat.
My cat is a bit like that when DD has been at her Dad's.

I can't imagine where aborigines would get gloss paint in the outback!

I wondered about the gloss paint...Anyone remember the cartoon strip The Perishers? ' The mind boggles'.

Oh yes I remember the Perishers.

And on the subject of aborigines anyone remember 'the ancient legend of the dreamtime people tells of a magic boomerang. When this boomerang is thrown All Time Will Stand Still'

Isis they'd buy it at the store, off the white invaders

Don't remember the legend but have slept since then... just annoys me when they come home covered in paint. Although at 14 you would think they would manage not to...

I suppose there's no point getting covered in paint if it just washes off.
She's still getting attention from it days later cos it doesn't wash off!

I'm going out for my non-date soon, I've got my cleavage out, just a little bit.
Had to dust off a few cobwebs though, I'd forgotten I had a chest!
It's mad really cos I'm feeling quite nervous about it.
I've known the guy 25 years and I'm nervous.
Mind you I've only ever seen him as part of a big group and that was a long time ago.

I hope that it goes well and we have a laugh; that's almost guaranteed.
It would be great to think that we can meet up for lunch/dinner occasionally.

DD's at her dad's tonight and again on tuesday night.
She seems ok on the surface but since she found out about having a sister her excema has flared right up and she's had a few wet beds.
I suppose it will calm down again once she settles into the new routine.

Nah you are both too young, my reference was to a crappy Australian kids programme of my youth, where our young white heroes had such a boomerang which they threw, and then time was supposed to stand still (except for our heroes) while the boomerang was in flight. Meanwhile said heroes would go and tie villains' shoelaces together or something, to defeat villains. So bad it was good...

Anyway, here's hoping you have an excellent night out Isis.

As to paint, I forget to wear old(er) clothes when painting. Stbx, however, is worse, more than once after painting there have been footprints through the house gggr.