Keziah, City, Choc et al support thread

[Keziahhopes]

Hi - found us a new home. Just didn't like the title of my old thread - and have found your support so helpful but would also like this thread to be less egocentric .

Choc -hope cbt assessment goes well.

City - how are you doing?

My physio exercises are helping me, but don't see stroke consultant until beginning of July. Still not had OT assessment, but dont' think will need it by then - just been horrible for dh to do everything for me since Easter. Now more independend - just had my first shower by myself!!

Oh no choc , your post didn't show up on my PC , nor in Threads I'm On till now -I wan't ignoring you .
I know it's a shock when you're ill & blood tests come back "all negative" but it might not be the whole story- when next see GP ,ask her to talk you through a few things which might not show up such as viruses , and also whether the results of any tests were "borderline" , especillly thyroid .

I didn't know you'd been suffering a lot of pins & needles , and hope my condition hasn't made you more anxious about that symptom . ( I've hardly ever had that it over the years , if that's any comfort ! I get pins & needles when I hyperventilate , but I'm sure you've excluded that . Trapped nerve ? Often see this symptom on MN Health board, & lots of causes .

Now , have you been applying any CBT techniques to these fears ? Because although it's terrifying and undermining to feel ill & think pofessionals won't believe you - as Keziah & I I have experienced too - there can be severe symptoms and even visible disabilities without clinical proof , and HCPs believe their patients about that all the time

Sorry link didn't work before , Keziah - just a small thread about women whose high blood sugar in pg was caused by infection , though I believe your indications are different - OP was carrying large baby too www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1119978-Gestational-diabetes-misdiagnosis/AllOnOnePage

Can't read enough through tears to see above post - but people are talking safeguarding and child protection and I have to have legal things put in place now. I have no choice, tried to argue out of it - not helped. I am devasted.

(((((((((((((((((( Keziah )))))))))))))))))))))))

It is not your fault -so very far from it - and if anyone on this earth could have persuaded them to see full picture , it is you - but even though they were set on doing x, y or z , it does not mean they will take the action you most fear .

Please try to take it bit at a time and to take care of the physical symptoms of stress as far as you canyou can't take anything effective .
Will try to say something more helpful , just wanted to day I'd seen this and send you love & prayersxxx

Am PMing about something I saw in media about your LA

Hi again Keziah Sorry for over reactig there - what you say they're suggesting , I assumed they'd already started doing a few weeks ago - so not that worrying in itself (ha ). I do understand it's the mix of factors which is worrying you , and have experience of SW and inacuracies , but hope you get advice/advocacy in case process should go awry in any wayt .

I know that a lovely poster in mh is a retired professional in this area & hope she can advise when able to , schedule & own health problems permitting.
Love to you and choc - sorry haven't said anything to you today , choc , and hope you can make a plan of action iF ou don't fel physivally better soon , plus about the other symptom you've been worried about < zonks unhelpfully>

PS (argh) So sorry Keziah , really wish I hadn't sent that link- please ignore

Sorry you're devastated Keziah. I don't really understand what is going on with you and safeguarding and protection. Is there any way you could get more clarity from them? < choc feels helpless >. Is there a slight possibility that you might access the help you need through these procedures? I say this because I have a friend who had a couple freak incidents with her child ending up in a&e. She was on the radar so to speak because whilst pregnant it was flagged up that she was in an abusive relationship (she had been but the ex isn't even the child's father as they'd separated a few years earlier but SS didn't believe her initially). But because they believed there were child protection issues she got access to free nursery sessions during the day, parenting courses and a SW who she could talk to for advice etc. Ok so not entirely relevant to you as there were no mh issues in her case but it just reminded me that it wasn't all bad for her. Although obviously distressing when they were threatening her with taking her child into care if she didn't co-operate! Sorry if I'm talking out of arse. I just hope you can get some reassuring advice soon. Maybe they're getting involved because mh people have been so crap. It's truly shocking...

Keziah apologies but I probably missed the most important thing about my friend above. After "taken into care" was threatened she hired a solicitor so maybe the "improvements" came after that. If you haven't done so already perhaps a solicitor would be a good idea. Getting rather worried about you getting close to your due date . Wish you could just breeze in and sue the pants off all the incompetant twats involved in your lack of care...

Choc - yes, fearing will have to go down a solicitor route... which is scary enough, financially and the thought of long term having to go down that route. And I know that at present if we did that they would just escalte things up higher, hence further need for solicitor and costs - as well as the whole added stress that I can't cope with. Also finding a good solicitor who will do something other than charge you (my limited experience of getting a house and mortgage has not endeared me to solicitors doing anything in my best interest!)

So angry for you being left with few chooices , Keziah . I know what you mean about the fear of legalties escalating into more action & costs .

So , so sorry not to have answered PMs but very tired this week . Did leave an unhelpful post on other thread instead of this one < reinserts brain >

Am worried about your exhaustion , infection etc Keziah , and hope you can find the right legal guidance soon so you can concentrate on looking afer yourself , rather than just doing so because of pg .

< waves to choc and hopes she is being incredibly kind to herself >
Hope you both get a bit of peace todayxxx

Sending much love to you both xxx

Just making a brief post before falling into bed! Hope you're managing not to fret too excessively Keziah < stupid choc >. I know what you mean about the solicitors - it's definitely a tough call to take. My friend did say that the expense was worth it to get SS off her back but then I doubt her situation was as complicated as yours . Really hope you are at least managing to rest and eat a bit.

The snow arrived here, so yesterday was spent watching it, and then playing in it with dd . It wasn't too traumatic - I think I'm coming round to the idea of this snow business . But then it was nice, fluffy snow not that wet 'orrible stuff! It wasn't so great this morning on the way to school when all the traffic had made it all dirty brown. It's melting quite quick now though so maybe it'll all be gone by tomorrow.

I'm seeing dd's teacher Weds about her behaviour. Amusingly this morning I received some advice/guidance sheets on tantrums from the school nurse team. It was for toddlers and pre-schoolers!!! Eh?

Hope you're bearing (never know the correct spelling!) up city. Has the house inspection taken place yet or are you still on tenderhooks? Time for me to sleep now. Night xx

Hi choc , enjoyed seeing you learn to like snow at last
I expect the leaflets were the only ones they had in - anyway , dd isn't even 5 yet , which to me is preschool . Hope the chat with teacher helps - sending calming thoughts for the stressful anticipation of it

Sending lots of love to you , Keziah - choc , don't forget to have a look at K's other thread to see latest news
So , so sad you're having the joy sucked out of this uniquely precious time , Keziah

city you're probably right about the leaflets. Either that or they didn't read them . Hadn't thought about dd's age - only that she's at school, therefore can't be a pre-schooler, lol! I'm more relaxed now after seeing her teacher. Says she's being much more aware of how her actions affect things (eg being upset when she's not been picked for things etc). So glad things aren't really bad especially after the teary day I'd had yesterday.

Hope things are improving for you health wise . Thanks for the tip-off about K's thread.

Keziah I'm pleased to hear about your imminent arrival! Wow! Although obviously sad and angry that you're having to endure the worry of SS etc simultaneously. But really, really give it one last push (no pun intended ) to minimise your level of anxieties using any relaxation techniques etc you've got up your sleeve for the birth. < choc shuts up before causing any further upset >. I'm here willing you on to have a safe and beautiful birth xx

Hi Keziah - jJust adding my positive thoughts to choc's , willing you on . Hope infections have cleared , you are relatively well & thar events have conspired to help you somehow feel calmer .

Am also trying not to picture you being delayed by snow , gritters etc en route to hospital

< choc waves to city >

Keziah dare I ask? Has imminent arrival arrived? Hope things ok. No snow ploughs needed?

First day of half term for me and dd. So far so good but I'm knackered! Play date went well too .

Hi - no arrival yet, but feeling it will not be long naturally somehow!! At last snow has almost melted, which has helped lots. Feeling very very tired, and just ticking off not very nice appointments at the moment. Packing baby clothes is a good distraction, in a little bag for the hospital.

Choc - not surprised you shattered already, I am too and mine isn't even here!! Glad play date went so well, hopefully that is something you and dd can build on and give you adult company, tire out dd and help fill hols etc. Are there any activities at your local library or children's centre you can go to - my library has a craft afternoon I noticed etc... if those type of things help. Glad appointment with teacher went well, sounds as if they are really trying to understand her and that means instead of just telling her off they can focus on helping her adapt to school and fit in and work with her rather than against her.

City hope snow disappeared for you if you had any.... at least we didn't seem to get the ice of last year which has really helped mobility wise I think! Crocuses are coming up, which is greatly encouraging me as I hate winter - and know you like your garden.

Well just munched far too many jaffa cakes, so had better go to the post office which was my entire job today!! If I disappear don't worry - it is just they may induce me and keep me in and that can take time. Equally they may decide not to, will find out tonight more!!!

Ok - so not induced last night. Happy as bit too early for baby, but sad because that means I have to be induced next week when my consultant on holiday and I actually trust her. But at least she has a plan in place for me, and I will get my own room for induction rather than sharing a room with 3 others - to help prevent infection and distress. So nice to be treated kindly because of my anxiety rather than as a problem!! Shame my obstetrician is not a psychiatrist; in fact will not see the obs again as will have my baby before she baby from holiday.

So have put something to do in place every day this week now, to help distract and hope to keep my mood ok.

hope half-term continuing well choc and city you have been able to catch up on rest after some very busy weeks.

Oooh wow Keziah , so good to see you . I didn't get time a chance to check thread till now so am sorry for silence

What a rollercoaster thinking induction might be last nisght . Bet your obstetrician wishes could be with you & has obviously arefully planned for you . So relieved you'll have your own room ... know what you mean about other types of consultant being understanding abut anxiety We have and everything crossed for the birth here , as you cn imagine

So sorry you'ver had horrible meetings instead of complete peace , but this week will hopefully give you a small break in that way , though the mobility issues & and exhaustion must be miserable .
So wise to plan activities where possible , and everything crossed too for low anxiety ....one thing though , how will you prevent yourself vacillating over names ? Have you settled on name /s yet or will you wait to meet baby before final choice ? < excited >

Good ideas for choc's very hectic week < passes her a soothing >

Busier week again this week , huge developments with IL - MIL in a nursing home atm , teemporarily only , we hope . Big upset in wider family . Once agents / workmen have finished snooping then will have chance to sort out all my scary appts & do my stompy comradely things ...

Relieved at your not having snowdrifts to contend with on vital journey ! We did have snow one midnight last week , & were still up so had magical walk in it- had melted by morning , poor local kids ..

Yaaay crocuses , & ground has thawed so have started planting out for spring . There will be new little birds cheeping soon ... for getting through exceptionally hard winter

< waves to choc , who will be sending you positive thoughts no matter how hectic things are >

Sorry for looonng silence. After going frantic about Keziah & baby I wasn't able to get back on-line until now because I couldn't find my extension cable for the computer. Yep my memory failed me again but to be fair it's not entirely my memory's fault. I've vacated my bedroom to enable my dad to stay and I just didn't have time to tidy up. So I've basically thrown more or less the entire contents of a room that hasn't been properly tidied in about a year into cardboard boxes. Then realised I hadn't placed the computer cable in the same box as the computer. Doh! I've now spent two nights swearing my head off not being able to find the thing. Arrgh! Oh well...

Wow Keziah you escaped induction for this week! Glad to hear it, although it's a shame about your consultants holiday. (Couldn't you get her to change it?) Though very pleased about your private induction room. I can well imagine the last thing you need is an audience. Really hope you've managed to keep distracted the rest of the week.

city sorry to hear about your hectic week - ILs/wider family upset sounds exhausting. Hope the nursing home development is only temporary but of course getting good care is a must. The midnight snow walk must have felt like a fairy-tale . I don't think we've had any more snow here.

I've survived half term -it's been the best hols yet . I only had my first wobble today and I think that was due to tiredness. I'm not sleeping well since sharing with dd (she snores oh so loudly and I'm a light sleeper). I've got a few more weeks of this so I'm hoping that I'll get used to it else I'll probably de-camp to the sofa!

Gosh I can't believe how long it's taken me to type this. I've now realised I can't talk and type at the same time, lol! Hope you both have a good weekend. Particularly wishing mum-to-be well for next week .

Choc how frustrating ... but glad found now!! So glad half-term been best yet, that is encouraging and hopefully been a good model for Easter hols in 2 months time etc etc. Earplugs for you perhaps?

think am nesting - kitchen drawers being sorted, meals cooked for freezer, until ran out of energy today .

city - hope MIL in nursing home is helpful for her and family at this time.

Empathy with the the cable hunt , choC - 2 nights , yep sounds familiar.. .Earplugs sound about right , Keziah

at all this activity , Keziah - definitely nesting ! Hope you can concentrate on a good book whilst resting . Am shaking head at your even managing to post , let alone practically do the spring cleaning . Sleeping must be almost impossible by this point & i hope heartburn hasn't preevented you eating < recalls packet of jaffa cakes & is reassured calories are being absorbed >

You must be snowed under choc with half term & weeks of being hostess - hope you have a good time with your Dad

Thank you ,Keziah - MIL not emotionally ready to leave own home atm but care workers in nursing home seem just what you'd hope for . Not certain yet that services can put together care packege which includes her peg feeding ... FIL refuing to do it anymore so as to try & force them to provide free care but I reckon it must have been MIL's guardian angels which gave me the instinct that something was terribly wrong when I relised doctor needed calling again - FIL had misunderstood the feeding instructions & MIL was very ill < never leave only one person in ccharge of technical details >

A ludicrously busy day , so sorry for being self obsessed & ranting when you two have so much going on , but sending you & Keziah calming wishes ( I think choc & I need some sort of classes to help us handle the wait ) < brings out extra eyecatching pompoms to cheer K on >

Hi - it sounds city that FIL needs more professional help than he had been getting so hope the care home can help enforce this. Peg feeding is not easy by the sound of it, hygiene wise as well so hope care put in place if back home soon. Know things like that stressful, had enough experience of it with g'parents and my Mum in recent years.

Yep, nesting! Now shattered, but being active good for labour and I want to avoid forceps etc

Lots of sweet foods finding my way right now, oops - bump is massive anyway and fizzy sweets and palma violets current phase as they solve heartburn problem!!!

Right - time to eat again xxx

I was wondering whether your Mum has had those sorts of care needs ,Keziah, but didn't like to ask at a sensitive time . Hope she is relatively stable atm .
I can imagine you were very involved with your grandparents when you could be . The only home nursing I've seen was my Mum caring for my Dad in the 80s but it was so different then , months on end as inpatient & same on a hospice wing , no chance of home care . I hope yur family are relatively content with current care arrangeements .

ILs have just been told they will indeed have a carer twice a day for the feeding ( I know this is rare & is because FIL has personality issues which are detrimental to MIL ) Yes, the hygiene precautions are a nightmare . Still can't get over the way the peg ihas given her extra time . The correct regime the care home is impleementing has greatly improved her strength & ccognitive aabilties performance.

So glad you're able to indulge in treaty food . I've noticed threads this week complaining about the new format of Masterchef & thought of you

Hope your halfterm success has boosted you , choc - you should be incredibly pleased with yourself at all you've managed recently < patronising > Sorry , rushing again & can't find right words .
lots of love to you both xxx

PS Hope you soon recover from extreme tiredness ... now , does anyone know about chanting or incantations or anything we can do to try to ward off those scary forceps ? < extremely positive thoughts >

Fantastic news - a carer 2x a day!! I would have thought any elderly husband would struggle with that no matter about anything else. It shows also the need for specialist care if she has improved so much in the home. Thankfully my Mum is not in such need, hers is more mobility and washing etc - she had someone come in and that has since been cut with government changes etc.