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Original poster

snowmash's cybergarden

998 replies

ThisIsANiceCage · 06/03/2011 22:56

We filled up your thread, snowmash! So here's another one.

Neither weather nor circumstance seems to be cooperating at the moment, so I thought we could do with a virtual garden to sit out in.

shodatin has started work already:
"we don't lose anything to the frost here, and nobody thieves our daffs and precious bay trees. Most days will be sunny I think, but sometimes we have rain at night, particularly when we've done some planting..."

And I think it needs a summer house with a chiminea or the like to sit round after dark and toast our tootsies.

OP posts:
snowmash · 12/03/2011 09:01

Morning all! Hope everyone slept well?

Any weekend plans?

shodatin · 12/03/2011 10:20

Morning All!
Hob, you must let us know what it is you're planning
(with a full description of outfit of course)

Hope you slept well snowmash, and are getting used to the less-than-homelike conditions on the ward. I have to go out this morning (involves local PO so might be a while) then hope to do a bit of gardening before tidying house for Sunday - certnly nothing special today. Back later, and hope you have interesting conversations/visitors as it's Saturday.

PixieOnaLeaf · 12/03/2011 10:35

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shodatin · 12/03/2011 13:47

So glad all is well with DD2, and you deserve a totally relaxing evening after this week's ups and downs.
I usually have a day off on Sunday, basically just friends and food with a much-needed break from chores, so nothing very interesting here - sorry.

Am hoping TIANC has recovered from this week's efforts too, and is doing something nice.

Still bursting with curiosity Hob - not fair to hint then hide, so I shall sulk if you don't tell us all very soon.
Hope snowmash found good lunch today; have just finished mine.

Original poster
ThisIsANiceCage · 12/03/2011 15:56

Hey there. Good to see you all.

Alas, today's a staying flat day - DP disappointed as we've been trying to go out for dinner for a couple of weeks now, but I'm never quite up to it. Still, it's a nice problem to have!

Hope everyone having OK days - fascinated to hear what hob's been up to!

OP posts:
shodatin · 12/03/2011 16:15

Hello TIANC, glad you're back - too bad not well enough to go out this evening, must be frustrating. Do you find it easier to eat out at mid-day rather than evening? I'm afraid I do, and it's a bit limiting, but heard recently that some old friends - not much older though - are now having celebrations during the day whenever possible, and enjoying the evenings at home. Life does change with time (excuse rambling, just noseying). Hope you enjoy the evening anyway.

snowmash · 12/03/2011 19:00

Glad dd2 is still out pixie!

Sorry you're having to have a slow day, tianc :(

I am having a bad day, earlier involved restraint :( (and obviously tears on my side). I really need to get my head straight, hadn't happened since pre admission :(

shodatin · 12/03/2011 19:37

Poor snowmash, sorry you were restrained today, it must have been upsetting and I do hope all is back to normal now. Were you trying to leave I wonder?
Please let us know if we can do anything to help.

PixieOnaLeaf · 12/03/2011 19:41

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snowmash · 12/03/2011 19:54

I think I'm very wound up, partly because I don't know what will happen when my section finishes next week.

shodatin · 12/03/2011 20:22

Would it be so bad if they asked you to stay for a few more days? At least they know you'll eat while in hospital, and take the meds, so it might be a bit optimistic to expect to go home so soon.
Sorry to say this, but at present I can't see any change for the better happening just yet.

Is it possible to spend some time having a private conversation with one of the nurses, to let them know why you're feeling wound up just now? Brew might help you feel a tiny bit better.

snowmash · 12/03/2011 20:27

I do get to talk to the nurses about it...but it's very hard as I keep wanting different outcomes and don't know if I'd stay voluntarily (probably only til I wanted to leave in honesty :( )

PixieOnaLeaf · 12/03/2011 20:47

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snowmash · 12/03/2011 20:50

I have told them that - the issue is that it is not my decision, it's my consultant's with however much input I get.

shodatin · 12/03/2011 21:33

I seem to remember the consultant's day is Tuesday, and if so, that means around two-and-a-half days before you have to know what you want, plenty of time to make up your mind, get things clear in your head, etc. You could even join me in having a day off tomorrow, and recommence worrying again on the Monday!
Seriously, the meds will be making a difference day by day, and you're likely to feel differently next week, so ODAT (one day at a time).

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 21:37

So sorry to hear you had such an upsetting experience, snowmash. The restraint must have been the most nightmarish feeling. Tears would be a natural reaction, as it's such a humiliating event. I'm ashamed to say if I were ever to be in that situation I would be so scared and angry that my instinct would be to use violence if I was truly scared ( but of course I know that's very dangerous to both sides ). Hope you're starting to feel a bit less shaken.

shodatin asks what triggered the restraint, and maybe you feel you don't want to have to "give up" your belief/s in order to be judged fit enough to leave? Perhaps you despair of leaving? :( Please continue to keep the dialogue with the staff open. Have you considered asking for an advocate from one of the mental health charities? You need to have someone you trust if you don't currently feel happy with the staffs' goals for you.
When you say, "I really need to get my head straight. It hasn't happened since pre- admission", maybe the other s know what you mean - in which case I'll get my big nose out- but this sounds important - can we help?

Very sorry to talk so much. Rotten that you can't go out , TIANC . You & shodatin sound very grownup in relation to pacing yourselves for special occasions. I am rubbish at adapting to the changes in my condition & would be deeply grateful if I could please eavesdrop a little bit on your coping strategies, if I may? Hope you don't mind me asking that.

So glad you enjoyed today, pixie, & hope DD2 continues to be OK & all your family enjoy the twins' birthday week . Sorry shodatin, I'm being very annoying this week. I've only been home a little while, not hiding! This is the most pretentious thing ever-the thing I was so embarrassed to attempt was a UK Uncut direct action in my town , & with DH still sleeping after his toils I genuinely needed someone to wail at.( Didn't want to let the other deo people down as few of us). It was supposed to be a "bail- in", where we cuts - oppressed citizens use our bailed- out banks as facilities within the Big Society, eg as a library, but there were so many people to hand leaflets / talk to that we didn't need to do our poetry readings! Grin
It was fine in the end as a couple of the others were in just the right state of mind for speaking with managers / security staff in the 2 banks, most of the people we leafleted were friendly to the cause etc , & the police just observed this time. One person brought a little sound system in her leaflets trolley to play pleasant but attention- grabbing music, which made me burn with embarrassment! Sorry to disappoint you on the costumes front, but would be fun for next time - suggestions welcome
I swear I'll shut up this week or you'll all throw me off- sorry snowmash to talk so much. Seriously, all, I will put a sock in it.
Hope for soothing sleep for all, and may I send (((hugs))) to you , snowmash

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 21:41

Sorry for stupid long post whilst you've been addressing the specific issues. You sound clear here, snowmash. < meaning to be helpful but sounding patronising >
Will leave you in the highly capable hands of shodatin- night all

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 21:44

and pixie's helping too, sorry didn't see you - goes to bed with bioth feet in big mouth...

snowmash · 12/03/2011 22:04

Thanks all...a day off tomorrow sounds like a plan, but the nurses also seem to be trying to ascertain my wishes which is good of them (so if it's someone I've spoken with might get a day off unless family want to discuss :s ).

hob I'm not talking about being pinned to the floor etc - I'm ridiculously easy to restrain :( but did comply soon after they started. Think psychologically the amount of force used doesn't matter though - just wish I could remember that it is ridiculously easy for them to do (and how I feel after). I was trying to leave. I just meant I hadn't been restrained since shortly before my admission.

I think in a way it will need to wait til the day when I know what my options are... Just hard as some c

snowmash · 12/03/2011 22:05

Combinations wouldn't be palatable, and a big part of me wants them to let me go so I can finish what I was going to do.

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 22:09

Creeping dowwnstairs in nightclothes to apologise for you such clunking questions, snowmash - it took me ages to write that awful long post & I hadn't seen your chat with shodatin and pixie. The situation has moved far beyond the considerations I was asking about.
Hope you peaceful night, as far as possible

snowmash · 12/03/2011 22:12

Night all, sleep well, hope the twins had good birthdays!

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 22:17

PS Thanks for replying re: the restraint. Very affected by your words as you describe the effects so clearly.
Good the staff trying to establish what you would like & sorry if there are issues around others trying to influence parts of our stay.
Do you mean some combinations of options ? Do you want to talk about what you were going to do? You know there's usually someone not far from this thread.Let us know if you want to talk it over.

cityhobgoblin · 12/03/2011 22:20

Sorry,I was too slow & didn't ask you that question in time - hope you feel able to talk about it if it's still a consideration.inking of it tomorrow. Night again.

shodatin · 12/03/2011 23:03

Wishing everyone goodnight, with thanks to cityhobgoblin and snowmash for explaining about their days.