snowmash's cybergarden

[ThisIsANiceCage]

We filled up your thread, snowmash! So here's another one.

Neither weather nor circumstance seems to be cooperating at the moment, so I thought we could do with a virtual garden to sit out in.

shodatin has started work already:
"we don't lose anything to the frost here, and nobody thieves our daffs and precious bay trees. Most days will be sunny I think, but sometimes we have rain at night, particularly when we've done some planting..."

And I think it needs a summer house with a chiminea or the like to sit round after dark and toast our tootsies.

Mine was for spasticity too, different condition (and age ;) )

Yes hob, the consequences are now very near and very scary/ hard to understand - also not sure what happens if I have two good nights then miss one :/. Seems they could section then, but how ling would they hold that over my head?

Thank you madmouse - looking back that was how it worked under section 2 ... But I dont want a section because then they could make me take medicines (ok in my case this means bed+holding my hands down+tipping in my mouth, but felt horrible the couple of times they did - wish I couldn't be controlled by one person :( )

Thanks to everyone who's explained situations, particularly snowmash and madmouse. Others have made more intelligent comments than I could, and I have to say I agree with you all, apart from snowmash, (sorry pet), who is sadly mistaken to think the meds are poisonous. Here's another vote to just try this one drug for a limited time - there is absolutely no reason for anyone on the ward to have the same prescriptions ([big grin] for daft idea).

Pixie, that is hard. I don't need restraint or the two meds (object to another more than the antidepressant ). I think they should just let me be.

Thank you very much TIANC! < slurp , crunch , adds continental assortment to biscuit tin to compensate for her greediness >

That's comparatively reassuring , madmouse but obviously still very upsetting as snowmash later describes - thanks for replying , snowmash ...
If you feel confused about the consequences , the staff and indeed the people here will try to go through it with you as situations arise , and perhaps tomorrow you could look at some info on the MIND website re: the drug you're worried about and perhaps some points on what the staff can do .
I was trying to work out what your position might be when they say they'll apply for a section if you don't take the drugs but (& the others here will have told you this before I've managed to type this )- am so sorry to say that human rights tend to take 2nd place to the doctors' opinion on the need for treatment , eg - they aren't supposed to hold the "threat " of a section over you , but in practice it may not work like that ... the law seems to take a very cautious stance on the risks of not receiving treatment.

Re ; a "bad night", do you mean in terms of how fully you manage to comply ? sorry if I misunderstand , & for late reply

Good point shodatin , about it not in fact being odd to be the only person on ward on that drug.

Thing is snowmash , in my humble opinion forced medication is an outrageous assault on a person , very hard to justify - but I really believe you may not be thinking clearly and thus may be denying yourself the chance of becoming well enough to leave hospital .

I agree you should be able to choose to refuse meds but what if they are the only thing that could jolt your thinking back into the zone where you can make safe decisions for yourself ?
The team treating you have clearly made their decision :-( and much as I wish you could be let be to see if time eased your psychotic thinking , many other patients have also longed for that & the docs tend to cite research showing that aggressive treatment gives a far higher chance of a lasting cure. I'm not a scientist so don't know , but the staff do believe that, and wish you well.

Wish the system could do it more gently , and in a safe environment, but that debate's for another time

I think you've hit the nail on the head pixie , don't know why I wasn't thinking that way tonight as you were all speaking in those terms a few days ago ( sorry, will give you some peace)

Hob, by bad night I do mean how fully I manage to cOmply :s

Thus far still trying to make myself go and ask. There is time yet :(

Why am I so evil?

You're not evil.

You're working really hard to cope with a difficult situation, while you're really ill.

You're not evil, snowmash - no chance at all that that is the case xx

Sorry, think i've eaten something distinctly dodgy? Don't want to leave you, snowmash, but I'm barely making sense (even less than usual).

Hope lovely hob can stay and keep you company.

Night night all, hope you get some answers the morn.

Thanks for answering - very wise to go and ask a nurse tonight

I don't think you will continue to feel this constant battle in yourself about taking the tablets if you start to regularly take the complete prescription they're asking you to , as the meds are designed to help the depression that is causing most of your strongest fears , and the antipsychotic is supposed to help you overcome those thought processes ...

This must be very stressful for you to be thinking over after such a long day . Hope you can get some sleep soon ( I'm up for a while, but have no wise words x )

I don't know why you think you're evil snowmash. I don't know why you think the meds are harmful either. Hope you manage to take them and have a peaceful night. Goodnight to everyone else who's about; sleep well.

Oh no TIANC- hope you sleep it off . ( thank you so much )
Stuck with me it is , snowmash! If you chat to someone & then decide to go straight to bed, have a very good night .
In the morning we can revive shodatin's parcel / s idea - without wanting to stress you out, of course.

Goodnight, shodatin , peaceful sleep

I wont sleep til I takecthem b

Night to all.

PS snowmash - you are not necessarily in control of whether you manage to comply , given your depression and a couple of mistaken beliefs resulting from that... stating the obvious I'm sure, but please don't tell yourself off too much...

Please don't think I'm trying to downplay your right to your opinions and choices at this time , just that we feel you can't depend on them at the moment and need to continue listening to the staff - hope you found someone, but you said there wasn't anyone much to talk to at night

Ah, so sorry missed your goodnight - sometimes most recent post doesn't show up ( not only when typing a message, I mean)
Have a good sleep . Sorry, not too sure on your last post - perhaps you mean your painkillers? Hope they soon work.

Night, all

Morning , all . Hope everyone had a soothing sleep.

Hope you aren't too feeling too panicked by yesterday , snowmash - that's easy for me to say - but although you do have to either make a choice or as pixie says, allow the staff to chose for you , & there is a time limit on that, you still have a bit of time to find out more about the drug that's of most concern to you and hopefully to ask for a talk with a staff member who will answer your question about why the team want you to take a ( class of ) medication you object to - why they think you need to .

I think the staff may have been trying to give you that time in recent days , to be fairer to you , but of course there's a problem if they're not giving you enough info about the drugs or if your depression plus & the stresses of hospital mean you're not able to assimilate all the info

Hope you're not still feeling poorly , TIANC - hopefully you're sleeping peacefully now , & not missing any planned activity.

Today am wishing us all extra doses of realistic optimism < off to seek wildly inspiring link in the vein of a Martin Luther King speech >

< promises to shut up today as the answer dwells within & how can snowmash hear it with me jabbering >

Morning all, and particularly to hob* because looking at this thread, you seem to have been soliloquising all night through, and all good stuff by the way.

(Another by-the-way: I seem to get a lot of surprising time delays too, so I appear even more behind and out of touch than I actually am. I only use Firefox these days and it doesn't happen anywhere else - a mystery)

TIANC, I do hope you're recovered and feeling well after good, healing sleep,
and just the same good wishes to snowmash - hope you got chance to have a useful talk with a nurse and now feel able to take all the meds, at least for the time being.

Just popping in to say hello to everyone.

Particularly Snowmash x

I know i havent got anything very useful to say but just want you to know that I am thinking of you - and wishing much better days for you very soon.

#kizzie wanders off knowing that she's added absolutely nothing of any use

Hi shodatin and kizzie ( nothing very useful to say , ha - you should feel more confident ! Some of us have been talking far too much for weeks [blush} ( you are very kind, shodatin , but I was not very helpful...I did go to bed just after snowmash, though , don't worry!) Hope you have some nice interludes planned for today .

( Very helpful that you say you too get strange time delays with Firefox . I do switch to Internet Explorer for Mn now but it's as though there's some sort of a remnant of the difficulty from Firefox - silly I know ).

Hey there. Just going to wave faintly and leave brain off hook today.