It's my fault that the NHS is too expensive

[snowmash]

and I can't do anything about it :(

Hello again snowmash, it was probably a good idea to go back to bed this morning, but such a shame about the nightmare. I was having one-a-night before changing anti-depressants.
Trip to town was good thankyou, sun shining on the sea etc., managed to do food shop before weekend crowds, just I forgot to take something in to return, so could have been better.
Congratulations to Pixie for getting closer appointment; it's good to know it can be done' there is a week's wait sometimes during the holiday season.
I did think GP would have got back to you by now. Did you say she was the only person you could email? How are you feeling today, now the nightmare's over? Any better?

TIANC, that sounds like a nice cage.

I think she may get back to me the week after next (because it's not time dependent and she works Tues/Wed). Feel very quite stupid that I emailed her because people off the 'net don't agree with me :S :(

Pixie, I hope your DD is feeling better than she was.

I'm glad you got most of what you needed done, shodatin.

She's the only medical person I can email, and like I said earlier on the thread, it's not for urgent things because they are so very busy and work part-time.

I'm feeling tired/sad/empty/spacey - how are you feeling?

You emailed her because lots of people asked you to email or phone your GP urgently. And you're nice and didn't want to say no.

She'll know that because she has the thread. So if she thinks we got it wrong, she won't blame you for our misjudgement.

I'm a bit worried you'll have to wait tho. You're in hospital next week, aren't you?

Sorry you're feeling so empty.

Actually, have you eaten today? What's for supper?

I'm feeling just same as usual thankyou, quite happy with stuff I've accomplished as slowly working through this week's list and house is slowly becoming tidier, which always makes me feel better.
Am also looking forward to seeing both brother and sister this weekend, which doesn't happen often. Do you have something to look forward to, or is life on hold until after hospital?

I've had rice and cheese (so not that sort of empty).

I will be in hospital but hopefully they wont need the whole week and can give some to someone else because they are all very clever. I am sure they will ask me about my mood at some point (normal or low).

Life's not exactly on hold, but until I find a way to feel less sad/less flashbacks/less scared I seem bad - not purposefully, but because forcing myself out doesn't seem to work well (although I'll have to next week). Might be able to increase the anti-depressants I started a few days ago in 2 weeks, don't know (think they make me feel physically dodgy a little).

That's good to hear, Pixie :)

Glad to hear you've had food snowmash, and good news about the anti-depressants too - did GP tell you they will probably take a few weeks to work? Sorry to hear they seem to have side-effects - hope these lessen with time too.
Could be GP knows you will be feeling bad for a while yet, and will wait before changing meds
just an idea.

Back soon - food ready! Easier to eat than re-heat.

So glad to hear that, Pixie.

Mmm, did you mention cheese, snowmash?

It's just grated cheddar (freezes ok for melting).

Probably say that my mood is still low (as whilst I have complete/absolute trust in 3 of them, mood isn't their thing).

I'm taking lofepramine, but it's a low dose so need to increase it then wait. She did say it would take time (and that moving might help).

I need to try and sleep to stop stuff, might be back later, hope everyone has good tea/supper/dinner.

Did you have a sleep snowmash?
Are you hoping to move soon? It makes such a difference to life, being in the right place, but always such a stress to find somewhere else and actually move. I was planning to move a few years ago, packed about half my goods and stored temporarily in the garage, then got a cancer diagnosis so had to cancel everything. Garage is still full of boxes!

Thanks, I slept for an hour, seems to help with head. I'm not moving because they need to spend the money on the libraries instead.

I'm sorry to hear you had to cancel your move; are you ok now? (if that's not too presonal, otherwise I hope life is treating you well).

I'm resigned to not moving now as not enough energy, otherwise ok thanks. This house is just a bit too basic and practical and I miss having a view.
We've all been asking you personal things so hope not too nosey.
It's probably being personal to say you're mistaken about not moving, but I don't know anyone else who would say the money should be spent on libraries instead!
Having a short sleep seems a good idea, my late husband used to have 20 mins now and then
and wake up full of energy, but I could never manage it. Did you think of this, or was it recommended?

That's a shame.

I've never managed to have short sleeps - just seems to be now...wonder if it's when the drugs as it's about an hour/1.5 after taking, when my head starts to feel very dodgy - can't stay awake for an hour.

Power naps are supposed to be good for some people though, aren't they.

It's just the ones local to me, Pixie - same council that say they have responsibilities to house me, but wont really because they need to benefit many people, not one. It's my fault, so it doesn't matter.

Hope everyone sleeps well.

Sleep well, snowmash.

:) Thanks both

Agree with Pixie about the naps, and about your moving. You did mention earlier that GP said a move might help, I think?
It is not your fault that the council is short of money - they are always short, and will always be, because people's needs are endless
and because some of their expenses are very high.

When we lived in Norfolk, the library was run by an elderly lady who had started it with her husband and still worked every day with sometimes one volunteer assistant. It was a very good library, and not a huge improvement when the council took it over, so the volunteer system could work well.

Meanwhile, the government seems to be providing extra cash for mental health, so not a bad thing - maybe there is enough for you to move after all?

I'm way behind everyone else, as usual, so will stop now and wish everyone a good night.
Sleep well