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Lonely in the playground

235 replies

Lonelymum · 06/09/2005 09:30

I am not depressed as such, just feeling sad and couldn't think where else to put this.

Well, this is not a new subject for Mumsnet I know, and I have taken part in quite a few other similar threads in the past, but here I am again, alone and friendless in the school playground and I really feel sad about it.

For anyone who doesn't know, I moved a few months ago from a great village where my children went to the only school in the village. Everyone went there and I knew loads of people. I never went to the school without speaking to half a dozen people twice a day. It was the highlight of my otherwise lonely existence. My worry then was how to go from talking to people in the playground to inviting them home for coffee - I never managed to!

Now though, we have moved to a small town. I like it here, but suddenly the people you meet in the school are not the same people you meet at cubs or ballet or in the shops. I have been here 6 months and have scarcely spoken to more than 6 people in that time.

I am so lacking in confidence and personal self-esteem that I tend to avoid eye contact with everyone so I suppose I come across as standoffish or self sufficient, but in fact I am yearning to make friends. Today and yesterday, I tried to talk to two people and both times received no encouragement at all so quickly stopped.

I just don't know what to do to make friends. I know all the usual ways that you might suggest eg going on the PTA, but that has never helped in the past. Dh and I in 11 years of marriage have never held a party of had anyone but family and old friends to dinner. I desperately want to change that.

OP posts:
nightowl · 08/09/2005 02:12

your post reminds me a lot of how i felt when i first moved here. (circumstances completely different but the feeling, i imagine is much the same). i have always found it very hard to make friends. im very shy. when i found myself on my own with ds i was desperately unhappy. i hardly knew anyone around here. (my own friends only live a 10 min drive but thats a lot of buses and taxi fares when you cant drive!).

people advised me to go to groups, start a course etc..but i never had the courage, it just all seemed such a forced desperate attempt to make friends that i never bothered. (and quite frankly it terrifies me).

so anyway, i moved into this street just over five years ago and i used to watch the neighbours all chatting happily to each other and sitting in each others gardens. one of them approached me when i moved in but that was it really. i thought they were all "in" with each other and i didnt ever think they would like me.

so i kept myself to myself mostly and i was lonely for a very long time. last year i had to speak to one of the neighbours (some mixed up post or something) and she kind of attached herself to me...now, although she really annoyed me for about a year (she was just too much), when the other neighbours saw that i spent time with her, they started coming over and speaking to me aswell. i didnt quite understand why at the time.

it all evened itself out and its nice now knowing that if im bored, i have a choice of a few people i can go and talk to or invite over. i do a course with one, we take the children out with some of the others and we all generally have a good gossip.

its like the typical "can i borrow a cup of sugar" thing here now but its taken a long time to get there!

the neighbour who im more friendly with now is the one i originally thought was the "main" one who everybody wanted to talk to. she admitted some time ago that she never bothered to talk to me as she thought i was stuck up. when i asked why, she said it was because i never came over to them and joined in. i explained that i was too shy and thought i would be "intruding" on what i saw as their little gang. she told me not to be so silly!

so while, i STILL would not approach a group of women who all obviously knew each other really well, (im too frightened), it just shows how we got totally the wrong idea about each other. she's actually very nice and helps me out a lot.

so i suppose what i would do, being the person i am (no confidence whatsoever) is probably not try and join in with a group of mothers chatting, (i would feel very uncomfortable with that), but if you pick the one who you see as the most approachable, when you see her on her own, then go over and have a chat and over time you will probably get to know all the others through her.

(you may find that they will make an effort to talk to you even if its mainly because they want to be nosey!! ...but of course, thats how you get to know people and how friendships start)

im using my street as an example and your street is probably very different to mine but i imagine that would prob work the same at the school. when you get to know one of them, the others may be more interested.

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 09:45

Sax, I hope you know I was joking! I felt a bit worried about my post last night and kept hoping I hadn't scared you off. My computer is on all day and I expect my status is permanently online but I am actually only popping onto the computer every so often so I quite understand that you weren't there to speak to me. Anyway, if ever you are there but don't feel like talking just say "Not now Lonelymum" and I won't be offended. I know how it is.

Thanks for your long post Nightowl: you really are a nightowl to be up at that time unless you are not in Britain? I related to a lot of what you said. I suspect people think I am stuck up or standoffish. I must admit, I get so fed up being alone sometimes, that I probably am a bit standoffish - just as a defence mechanism, you know, if you don't want me, then I sure don't want you! - but most of the time I am just completely at a loss as to how to start a conversation. I feel people judge me harshly too (hence yesterday's thread about well groomed people and how they view messes like me).

Anyway, unfortunately, I don't live in a nice residential road like you (or like I used to) but on a main road with houses interspersed with other types of buildings so I am not sure the community feeling is as strong here, but I am doing quite nicely with my neighbours. I shall try to apply what you said to the mums in the playground though. Just give me time. This will not be an overnight success.

Oh and for all those who have shown an interest in this thread, I joined an evening class yesterday. It starts in a fortnight and I am feeling very positive about it.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 08/09/2005 09:53

good on you Lonelymum. What is the evening class?

Flashing Nose can I just say at - more Tigger, less Eeyore. what excellent advice.

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 09:54

But I am Eeyore personified!

Italian

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 08/09/2005 10:22

fabulous. Maybe you should try drama - I am serious... I used to work in a large company who employed an actor as a consultant to help people (especially sales and customer services) with their confidence. It's all about acting a part. Pretending to be Tigger. Well maybe not Tigger. Maybe Rabbit?
PS I am Tigger personified. I am indeed very annoying, but at least I know it...

hi5 · 08/09/2005 11:11

Hi LM, Well done - good to hear abt the Italian course.
Sending virtual smiles of encouragement and makeing eyecontact with you...

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 11:23

Thanks hi5!

And Harpisichordcarrier, just don't bounce on my thistles!

OP posts:
cod · 08/09/2005 12:55

Message withdrawn

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 12:57

Oh get stuffed Cod! They all hang around for hours (literally) afterwards - the head likes everyone to stay and make use of the lovely play equipment and space. I can't be doing with that. I want to get home and get on.

Can I have another task please?

Oh BTW it is also raining here - another reason maybe not to hang about?

OP posts:
cod · 08/09/2005 12:58

Message withdrawn

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 13:00

Well that and cook dinner and do all the housework I didn't do earlier because I was talking to strangers!

OP posts:
cod · 08/09/2005 13:00

Message withdrawn

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 13:01

Anyway what is a stranger? Just a friend you haven't got to know yet - or something corny like that. You are certainly less of a stranger than the women in the playground.

OP posts:
jampots · 08/09/2005 13:06

LM - not really being fair to Cod - she is only trying to help.

What would you do if someone did ask you back for a coffee? would you go?

Im a new mummy at school atm and im going to get involved in the PTA as its an excellent way to get to know people.

cod · 08/09/2005 13:07

Message withdrawn

jampots · 08/09/2005 13:07

i speak from experience though not just mere rumour

cod · 08/09/2005 13:08

Message withdrawn

cod · 08/09/2005 13:08

Message withdrawn

jampots · 08/09/2005 13:09

do you work LM?

jampots · 08/09/2005 13:12

LM!!!!!!! Talk to me!!!!!!!!

Lets do role play

You start!

jampots · 08/09/2005 13:17

ok I'll start.

Hi! your ds is in the same class as my ds isnt he? How's he settling in?

Sax · 08/09/2005 13:23

LOL c'mon LM your needed!!!!!! tell us your response then!

Lonelymum · 08/09/2005 13:25

I'm not here. Cod banned me.

Does Cod think I am being unfair? Hey saying get stuffed was meant to be friendly! Maybe that is why I don't make friends....I find polite talk so tedious. I am likely to say get stuffed and people get huffy and take off. No offence intended Cod - I thought you were a fellow speak as you find person.

OP posts:
jampots · 08/09/2005 13:31

Sorry for sticking my oar in - i dont know if Cod thinks its unfair.

"So how is your ds settling in?

Oh look its raining, have you got time for a coffee, I know a fab little bistro round hte corner? "

iota · 08/09/2005 13:33

LM - I'm one of those mums who hang around in the playground for ages whilst my kids run amok on the equipment

and since I've been doing that I've got chatting to quite a few other mums with children in different classes from my ds1

strongly reccommend that you try it for 15 mins or so. really.