Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

Hey Becky, hi all

Keep looking at this thread and thinking i really ought to post something.

Sleep is hit and miss and last night was very miss. Had a bad evening where for one reason or another I didn't speak to anyone and then a little tiff with dh over nothing much sent me into a load of flashbacks of being totally isolated as a child. Had a big cry which was a few weeks overdue but still didn't sleep very well.

Oh well off to work we go - my half day today which is always too short to get stuff done, then spending the afternoon with ds and the evening on my own again which maybe I somehow need to avoid.

Getdown I was wondering if it would be wise to let this cycle pass and start again from your next AF, to let everything calm down?

Hope you all have a good day and that if you ar not posting here it is because things are going well x

becky no I did NOT wake up DH at 3am for a bit of?. and I?m not that desperate!

He?s been quite ill actually, went to dr. yesterday who sent him for blood tests (liver function) and he?s got to go back on Monday. Hope he is ok.

madmouse - I did think perhaps we should wait this cycle, but TBH I just can?t! Also it?s only more of an issue with later miscarriages I think. Because mine was so early I don?t think it?s messed anything up too badly, except for maybe a slightly longer cycle. Anyway, with DH the way he is looks like it?s not going to happen this cycle anyway.

Sorry to hear you?ve had some more flashbacks around being alone, and sleep has been hit and miss. You are doing so well to just keep going, and keep with the routine. I?m sure that is a helpful way of getting through it. Just got to keep fighting. Hope work goes quickly for you. My half day at work today too.

Glad to see this board is a bit quiet as people seem to be generally sleeping ok.

My sleep pattern has definitely changed since the MC ? used to always struggle to get off to sleep and then sleep right through till morning. Now I seem to get off ok, but wake up intermittently in the night and always about 5:30. Can?t seem to lie in anymore which is annoying. Ah well, I prefer the early waking to the lying there at night no sleeping!

Had a bad night Monday night as DH was up and down, cold and hot etc. but last night was better.

Hi all. Sorry you haven't been so good madmouse, and sorry to hear about your DH getdown, hope he is OK.

I was doing pretty well sleep wise for a couple of weeks and have managed to just take the nytol three times a week before work, and nothing on the other nights, which is the best it's been since before I had DD. Now at least I know I can sleep without taking anything.

But the last few days have been pretty crap. DP has been really grumpy and yesterday he went to the GP who said he has mild depression. He is just so irritable and not fun to be around at the moment. It's really hard.

Work has been horrendous in lots of ways. Cases have been dumped on me and I'm having to deal with some very difficult clients and I haven't 'toughened up' emotionally yet. Also with being in three days a week it's difficult to keep up. DD has been ill and clingy and up in the night. I've taken today off work to be with her as I felt guilty she was at nursery not 100% well on Monday but that means I'm only in work Monday and Friday this week and all I'm doing is worrying about what is not getting done, and that my clients will complain about me.

The last couple of nights like you getdown i've slept OK but been awake from 5.30am and then I'm shattered when I have to get up. this morning I managed to drift off at around 5.45 but DD shouted out (she'd wriggled upside down in her cot) so I sorted her out and she went back to sleep but then I was wide awake but knackered then had to get up.

Sorry a complete whinge today but life is difficult at the moment.
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Oh no arcadia ! Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate again. So sorry to hear that DP had mild depression. Did the GP prescribe anything? Hope he gets treatment and starts feeling better soon. Remember that his irritability is most likely because of the depression and not at you. Although, I realise it must be hard to not feel it personally.

It's great you've just been taking nytol, and that only on work nights too. It's a pain waking up at 5:30 isn't it? I hate it! Just wish I could wake up one minute before 7, like I used to! Ah well.

Work sounds horrible. Don't feel bad about having today off with DD. She is your first prority. You've done well to get in at all this week.

Everyone around here is dropping like flies with this stomach bug and I am getting really panicky about it. DS1's best friend has got it now :( I don't know what I am so scared of - I'm just terrified of being sick I guess. I hate it when these things go around.

Madmouse I hope you are ok - keep going, you are doing so well even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Have a nice afternoon with your DS.

GetDown your poor DH - I hope he's ok.

Arcadia I'm sorry your work is so stressful. It's hard juggling children and work. I find it really hard sometimes, esp when I have lots to do. I sometimes sit her working with DS3 on my knee (trying to add random text to my emails). Working from home has advantages and disadvantages.

Hi becky sorry to hear about the stomach bugs...

I wonder, has this fear of vomiting only started since you had kids?

I wouldn't say I had a fear of vomiting (I was sick this morning and actually felt much better afterwards! Sorry you didn't want to hear that!) but I definitely am a bit more, kind of, conscious of germs.... eg. holding other people's babies, especially if they are snotty, I just cannot wait to wash my hands!

Also I carry round with me one of those little bottles of alcohol gel rubs, which I can use if my hands feel germy.

I've been like this since I was at infant school after someone threw up on my back in assembly. Since then I've been really scared, mostly about me being sick though. Since having children I'm much better than I used to be about other people throwing up! I used to hate it but now I'm used to it a bit more (no choice with children really).

PS I haven't properly thrown up since I was twelve! That's 26 years ago. I've been close lots of times though and done little throw ups (when pregnant for example). There was one time after drinking too much vodka when I was 19 but does that count?

Ewww! Someone was sick on your back in assembly! That's horrible. No wonder you;ve got a phobia.

I think I've got worse about germs since having DD. It's good the vomiting thing is a bit better since children.

But that you've not properly thrown up since you were 12!! HOW? I throw up quite often - certainly more than a few times a year.

Yes I think throwing up after too much vodka DOES count

I'm scared of throwing up - real scared - it makes me feel I'm going to choke and that I have totally no control and it reminds me of something my abuser did. I do everything to avoid it (good with breathing exercises) but I have IBS and generally have a sensitive system so I don't always manage. I do panic so badly that I lose my voice and hurt all the muscles in my back so that I can't cough for about 4 days which in turn is not great with COPD (bronchitis)....

I am fine with ds being sick - well I hate seeing him upset, and fighting not to be sick and then getting all miserable, and then all that washing, but it doesn't bother me. When dh feels really sick he sticks his fingers down his throat to feel better !!!!!

Madmouse your reasons are very different to mine, it's horrible. I think I've got very good at stopping it too, hence why despite having a fair few tummy bugs since DS1 was born, I have managed to avoid throwing up (it usually manifests itself in severe downwards problems instead and cramps). What a lovely topic of conversation!

GetDown a few times a year!!!??!! Wow.

I am quite often sick, even if I am not ill Think it's an anxiety thing to be honest

Aargh what just happened?? I have some time alone and I'm writing my book. I'm writing about the devastating loneliness and isolation children suffer while being abused. I have the tv on in the background to drown out the noise dh is making upstairs. There is this RSPCA ad (I am not keen at all on RSPCA) about how they will collect your pet when you're dead and there is this sad cat sitting outside this empty house and this RSPCA woman comes up and says there you are Molly I will look after you' and I burst into tears, as in big raging sobs. WTF

And there's counselling yet to come...

hi there madmouse you sound quite fragile, sorry to hear that the RSPCA ad made you sob Sounds like the issues you are writing about are being transferred to lots of other things, and it's coming out in various unexpected ways.

Bad night for me. Sorry for not posting earlier. My neck is so painful, I've been avoiding the computer today in case it makes it worse.

Felt so unwell last night because of my neck - severe headaches, dizziness. Couldn't get comfy in bed. Got up about 2am to take paracetamol, but didn't even take the edge off it. Then DD came into our bed about 5am and that was the end of it. Couldn't really sleep after that.

Feeling quite rough today. Am so tempted to take a mirtazapine tonight, as I know it will make me sleep. Been nearly 2 weeks without them now though, so not sure what to do

Getdown I am sorry that you are in so much pain with your neck still. Have you pulled a muscle?

I would suggest you do not go on the mirtazipine as bluntly speaking you do not need it to sleep. If the pain prevents you from sleeping take something for the pain. If you can get to a shop still get some Syndol - it is a painkiller with a muscle relaxant. As it contains codeine you shouldn't use it for long but dh occassionally uses it when he seizes up and it is fab. If not, max dose of nurofen and keep it warm.

Don't fall in the trap of thinking I can't sleep I need mirtazapine if there is an external cause for not sleeping!

Sorry lecture over xxxxxxx

GetDown hope you slept well last night :)

Madmouse as GetDown says you are so fragile at the mo., it is all part of your healing though, and positive steps forward.

I'm getting excited because this time next week I will at the train station waiting for a train to take me to Oxford! I'm having lunch with my work colleagues at my old place of work (Oxford University Press) then Christmas shopping and then night out with old-colleagues! I'm really excited.

Tomorrow DH and I are going to see Harry Potter at the cinema, I mean the film, not the wizard boy!

Hi all! Sounds like you've got an exciting weekend planned becky - enjoy!

madmouse you are quite right of course. However, I had a bit of a wobble last night (soooo tired), and ended up taking an eighth of a tablet (1.875mg)....

I slept from 9:45 through to 6am, then fell asleep again till 8am!!

They are powerful stuff! Feel soooo refreshed to have had a good night's sleep! I know it probably wasn't the right thing to do, but just feel so much better for a good night's sleep. Even my neck is not throbbing quite so much today.

Got a friend coming today who I was in the mother and baby unit with. Will be good to see her, haven't seen her and her DS for ages.

Getdown is it me or is 1.875mg not actually enough to make you sleep that well? My hunch is that it was about as effective as a lavender cushion... Glad you slept though and hope you feel better able to take on the world today. How is your neck?

Becky will you still be in Oxford on Saturday? Because that's when I'm going down to see my mn turned fb turned rl friend Simpson.

Me fragile - what makes you say that? - counselling was frustrating because I know there is something there that I need to talk about and I can't reach it, defenses are firmly in place. I haven't spoken to my friend since mmmmm Wednesday? And I'm struggling to keep on top of feelings like 'He's really fed up now'. Crazy and so annoying.

And work is not going that great today either.

Sorry for the moan

Hi everyone

I've been meaning to post for a while but everything is getting on top of me at the moment:( Struggling to keep up with work and running house. School has gone crazy at the moment with the run up to Christmas and I feel like I'm on a treadmill and can't get off:(

I'm just about keeping my head above water. The good news is DH finally might have a job. The bad is he will be on a course in Dallas from 1st til the 18th December! So as you can imagine I'm panicking a bit (a lot) about organising everything for Christmas.

Have also had too much coffee today and my hands are shaking whilst I'm typing.

Oh dear:( Oh well roll on the weekend...

Sorry for the moan. Glad most of us seem to be sleeping ok anyway. Hope you all have a lovely weekend xx

Madmouse I'm staying at my bosses house below Oxford (can't remember where she lives, she moved from Avon Dassett recently to somewhere near Thame I think) but catching train back from Oxford at about 2pm I think. Not sure what to do between waking up and getting train! What time will you be in Oxford?

Orangeflutie I am also on a treadmill. Work is crazy, house is a tip, children are hard work. Busy, busy, busy. I haven't even started thinking about Christmas yet. Well done your DH! But ooooh noooo Dallas for 3 weeks!!!!

GetDown dare I suggest you try some lavender spray on your pillow (what was recommended to me by my hippy CMT lady) instead of a mimiscule amount of Mirtzapine?? He he he!

Becky I will probably pick Simpson up in Summertown at about 12, it takes me 1.15h to drive to Oxford taking the back roads avoiding exit 9 of the M40 so I can get there earlier?

Good to hear from you again orangeflutie but sorry to hear you are snowed under. It's awful, I hate this time of year. The pressure of Christmas is horrible, and not the way it should be at all

It's great that your DH might have a job, but horrible he will be going away, just as you are feeling overwhelmed. Ah dear. You can wail on here anytime and we will try to cheer you along.

Too much coffee is baaaad. I had a coke today I'm rather embarrassed to say, and I regretted it afterwards

That would be cool if madmouse and becky could meet up!! Shame I'm not anywhere near oxford tomorrow...

I don't know what it is about the mirtazapine, but even a tiny amount now sends me into a wonderful deep, long sleep. I don't know how much an eighth of a tablet could really do, but somehow I always sleep really long and deeply after a tiny bit of mirtazapine. I'm definitely not throwing away my supply just yet! Although I do definitely want to be off it. Wondering if I could use it as a very occasional sleeping pill, instead of the evil zopiclone. although my CPN was a bit at the idea, saying "that's not what they're for"... well, yeah, but if they work why not? Read on wikipedia they are developing a form of mirtazapine to use as a non-addictive sleeping pill....

A friend of mine called at 6 this evening in a panic asking if I could go over there and baby sit until her DH got home, she had to go out and he was stuck in a jam. I agreed, but she lives about 20 mins drive away, along a dual carriageway I am terrified of! And it's really bad fog here at the moment, so I got off the phone and kind of panicked!!

My absolutely wonderful DH has gone in my place. And he's not feeling too well. Feel so guilty! But he was willing to do it, so I didn't have to drive. Hope he gets home soon.

GetDown it is next weekend!

Don't feel bad. Your DH is lovely :) I know that feeling - I hate night driving and fog night driving is hell.

Thankfully DH was only gone an hour, and then we had a nice indian takeaway together, so it all worked out ok.

I slept well last night with NO mirtazapine - 10pm - 6am. Hurrah.

DH is still not well He's got pain and aching in lower back region, and I am worried he's got a kidney infection he's got to go back to dr. on monday.

My neck is feeling a bit better today. I have been walking around like a robot trying not to turn my head at all!

Hope you are all ok today and enjoy your saturday.

We haven't got much planned, except I have to wrap up my shoebox of presents that#s being sent to Belarus operation christmas child and make a load of cakes for coffee time at church tomorrow!

We did that shoe box thing last year - meant to do it this year too but sadly had no time :(

I might pop into town later to try to make a start on Christmas shopping. I'm the only person I know who hasn't even started. It's only 20 November!!!!