Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

ladies of letters is on itv 3 now then after that Rising Damp.

I'm pathetic and don't deserve my friends!

do they normally log on around this time. if you cant bear to call could you text them? Is this the same friend who has really supported you in the past

Yes it's the same one - he's always there but when I feel like this I'm sure he will get tired of it. No, he's not always on fb.

oh you do - even from just reading on here i know how much you do for others all the time.

Do you think you might be putting too much on yourself to try and write it all out tonight. I can see why you are doing it but its late and youre going to have to think about it even more.

In cbt they often talk about setting 'worry time'. So you would say - 'right this is clearly a major issue and im not disputing that but this isnt the right time to think to think about it. im going to set aside 2 hours tomorrow at 3 (or whenever) to write it all out properly.' If you then keep thinking about it - every time you keep repeating to yourself ' this is importnat - but Ive got a set time to think about ....- and use any distraction things you can think of. sudoku etc just to try and wide down to sleep.

he wont get tired of it.

honestly - good friends like that dont.

im going to go in the bath now. i really hope you get some rest.

you are being so brave going through all this - but it will be worth it in the end because all this work you're doing now means that one day you'll be able to move forward knowing that youve dealt with it all and not run away from it. x

Thank you Kizzie - talking to my friend now

Thanks for being there x

Madmouse I hope you are ok - your friend is a lovely friend and he won't get tired of being your friend I know because from what you've said he is a real diamond. I hope he helped you and you had a good, restful sleep.

I didn't have a good sleep because DS3 was awake 11.30-12.30 - just crying and crying and I tried cuddles, singing, leaving him for five mins, cudddle, five mins, cuddle. We eventually gave him calpol thinking he must be in pain (teething or coming down with my cold). Then I couldn't get back to sleep and stupidly I started to feel panicky. I did drop off though. I hate myself for being so stupid and pathetic when with DS1 and DS2 if they woke I'd just think 'phew they are asleep, I can snuggle up now and get back to sleep' whereas now I worry and worry about what's wrong with him and about me not getting enough sleep. Ahhhhhhh! And when I'm tired my mood plummets - I was in such a happy mood yesterday. Well, I'd better just get on with it, get everyone up now, and keep going.

madmouse so sorry I missed you last night when you were feeling so bad I turned off the computer and watched the TV whilst DH was out.

How was your night? I really hope you are feeling calmer today. It's horrible having these new memories springing up on you all the time I think our brains go into "protection mode" when it actually happens and we cannot process it all. That happened to me to a lesser extent during labour - so much awful stuff that my brain couldn't deal with it all, and it's come out in dribs and drabs ever since.

Thinking of you, I do think it's better that these memories surface so that you can deal with them.

becky sorry to hear you were kept awake and then struggled to sleep yourself. That often happens to me too. It's like, if my "routine" is disrupted, I go into hyper stimulation mode and then can't seem to get off again. It's so annoying. Glad you got off in the end though, and I'm sure tonight will be better

I woke up at 5:50 this morning (normal these days). DD came into our bed, but I took her downstairs at abotu 6:30 and then did manage to go bad to bed for an hour or so which was nice.

Hope you all have good days. How are you doing these days kizzie?

Hi madmouse - just logging in to say hope you have a better day today.

Thanks for asking about me Getdown. Im working hard on all the anxiety/panic stuff. I think the last time I wrote Id been having better days and thats still the case thank goodness. Just gives me some strength for the harder days. Im 40 and it looks like Im probably perimenopausal so dr thinks there is probably a link. (My probs started post natally.)

Hope you are all ok x

Good to hear you are having better days kizzie. Are you getting treatment for the perimenopausal stuff or is the dr. just waiting to see how things go? What AD have you settled on in the end? Hope you've stablilised on a dose that works for you now.

How was everyone's nights? I woke up at 4am then again at 6... finally got up about 7:30.

DH is out all day today - Saturdays on your own are worse somehow aren't they?

Going to a fireworks party with friends later though which will be nice.

Hi all

I feel very tired and foggyheaded this morning despite sleeping well. My back hurts aswell, it's not been right all this week. Going to need more nurofen today I think and will try and fit in some stretches.

GetDown totally agree about Saturdays on your own. My DH used to work shifts and the weekends he was away seemed quite long.

Looking forward to going to Eastbourne later to see some good friends.

Hope you all have a good day x

GetDown I am laughing out loud at your facebook status!

Orangeflutie sorry you feel fuggy.

I've just been to one of those wacky warehouse birthday parties. I hate them with a passion! DS2 and DS3 had a great time though (left DS1 at home to do DIY with daddy).

It was most bizarre. Opened the door and it was this rather large man who said "hello, I'm the fish man. Do you want anything?"

Errr... why would I want to buy fish from a random person who turns up at my house? No thanks!

Ahhh fell asleep watching How I Met Your Mother last night, went to bed, couldn't sleep, got into a bit of a state, not a lot of a state, but enough anxiety to keep me awake! Stupid, stupid, stupid brain. Paul McKenna must have sorted me out at about midnight though so slept well in the end :)

Sorry to hear that becky, it's good you got to sleep in the end though . That is such an improvement on how you would have been at the beginning of the year isn't it, you have come so far.

Remember IT IS OK to have anxiety about not sleeping but it's how we respond to it that matters. We are kidding ourselves if we try to pretend it's not hideous, but it's realistic to say that we WILL be ok and we WILL sleep the next night.

Glad that mr. mckenna sorted you out. I heard the end of the CD last night, but must have dropped off quite soon after. Woke up at 4 though .

Am really trying not to obsess about getting pregnant again, but finding it hard.... just want it to happen so badly. Don't know what my body is doing right now though, hoping it won't take too long to sort itself out

GetDown I find with the CD that I drift in and out of sleep but always hear the end for some reason.

Try not to obsess, you've got plenty of time. But perhaps obsessing is good for you as it stops you thinking about sleep! I was obsessed when we were TTCing for DS3 - it gave me a focus though so it was good obsession.

I've just bout DS3 a car seat - poor thing was in his baby carseat still and he was postively bursting out of it. But the woman in mothercare completely blinded me with science and was dissing DH's car for being a bit old and a Vauxhall. She suggested I bring my car to check for fitting too. Yeah right - I really have time to drive to Telford and back with various cars and children. Anyway, I bought one.

DH is taking DS1 and DS2 to a firework display later. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go along too - I used to be really scared of fireworks when I was little and still don't like them.

bought not bout!

What a night! Had a monster sleep of about 11 hours!

Fell asleep at 8pm in front of X-factor, annoyingly missed Downton Abbey too.

Went up to bed at just after 9pm, asleep till 6am then asleep again till 7!!

Why is my body so weird??!

Hope you are all ok xx

How can you fall asleep watching X Factor???

where's madmouse? Are you ok?????

Hi - sorry. Thanks for your message Getdown.

Hit a bit of a big bump in the road and am struggling, not feeling very much like inflicting it on others. Have just tried to talk to my friend in the car and that was hard enough, feel bad too because he's off on a business trip tomorrow and has a lot on his mind. But he insisted bless him.

I'm just tired of fighting and as he just said that's the time you need to keep fighting most.

Will try to be back properly soon xx

Madmouse big hugs. Please don't worry about 'inflcting'. I'd rather you did that than keep quiet - that's what we're all here for.

I can't believe that DS3 is nearly one (Sunday). I'm getting broody - STOP! STOP!

Thanks Becky that means a lot - may try later x