Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

Glad you had a good night out becky - it won't do you any harm once in a while!! Good to hear that DH has been kind to you today.

We've had a fab weekend - children's farm yesterday and church and lovely sunny long walk today.

Got psychiatrist tomorrow, but I think for the first time ever I am actually not dreading it!!

Soooo tired :( Feel all foggy and weird. I hate this feeling - I so hated lying in bed last night waiting in vain for sleep to come with Lady Ga Ga buzzing in my head all night. DH claims that when DS3 woke up and I told DH I hadn't been asleep yet, at about 3.30am, that as soon as I told him I fell asleep. If that's true, how come it feels like I was awake, except for dozing now and then, all night? I had a small doze in the car today too. Hate this feeling though. I'm starting to get scared about the forthcoming holiday with 11 children and 4 adults. Will I cope??

GetDown good that you aren't dreading tomorrow :)

Yes Becky you will cope - I went camping with a friend and her kids and I found out that we both looked out for each others kids all the time and it made it very relaxed actually.

Sory you had a bad night, but ou know why, so tonight you will sleep as a baby, except without the waking at night of course

Getdown glad you had a good weekend.

I've had an ok weekend, settled down a bit after a difficult week and sleeping deeper with fewer dreams. Just tonight feeling very tired and sad and emotional, not really sure why. Hope I sleep...

Hi all just back from London tonight (there since Tuesday, not online), life still a bit chaotic but DD is being gorgeous, DP is being OK, and our bathroom is nearly done.
Have been staying with DP's parents though they had to go away from part of it. My sleep ranged from badish to great over the few nights - last night I slept through for 7 hours then dozed another couple without any antihistamines or anything!
I'll write more tomorrow. Have had a quick read - glad you're all ok X

I slept better last night, despite going to bed feeling anxious 'what if I don't sleep?' Woke up feeling really down and fatigued, as I always do 'the day after'. I really had to force myself out of bed this morning.

Madmouse hope you are ok xxx

Arcadia that sounds great! I hope your bathroom is coming along. We thought the bathroom was done but the bath leaks! Grrrr. And DH's car went for an MOT and service last week (stressful in itself -trying to get car to garage with three children to take with me, and pick it up, very complicated). Yesterday the exhaust rear box fell off!

welcome back arcadia!

Hope you are ok madmouse your FB status did not look too good

Had a good night again last night, thanks to Mr. Mckenna. I have leant the book to someone, but still have the CD.

becky how annoying about the car and the leaky bath! Sometimes it seems there is just one trial after another!

Just dropped DD off at nursery because DH's car is still broken (waiting for a part) - we got a nasty note on it saying "why has this car not moved for weeks?" Bloomin nosy neighbours with nothing better to do.

I hate the nursery run in the mornings, everyone is driving so fast, despite all the hazards of school children everywhere, parked cars everywhere, people manouvering all over the place. Grrr, it makes me really stressed out!!

Just come home again before my appointment with the psychiatrist. Am going to walk to the hospital as the car park there is a nightmare. Only takes about 20mins to walk there.

Hope you all have good days.

xx

GetDown do you just listen to the CD when you go to bed? Or are you doing some of the exercises in your head too? I've got out of practice I think and just feeling down again about sleep (after just one bad night, I know, that's just silly, but had virtually no sleep Sat night and I don't know why except that my head was buzzing and I'd drunk too much - which I'd have thought would have sent me to sleep ).

Grrrr at petty neighbours GetDown. Good luck today :)

Hi all

Thanks for your concern. I struggled to fall asleep and had a restless night. But more than anything this tiredness has pervaded my whole body - not even sure it has much to do with sleep as my sleep has been bad for so long now.

Maybe the past year and a half of being ill and fighting to get better and a year of dh not being well and me trying to keep things together are catching up. DH has had a few not so good days (but much better than he used to) and I find myself feeling really weary about it.

Getdown what are your neighbours thinking....hope psych goes well.

Becky alcohol sends most people to sleep quickly then wakes them again after a few hours.

Hi all. Finally a 'normal' day again, just me and DD at home for the first time in about two and a half weeks or so. No workmen - can use bathroom but still not finished. They'll be back to finish off in a couple of weeks.

Becky I never used to sleep well after nights out drinking, hope you've caught up a bit now. sorry to hear about your bath. I know what it's like to just want it finished!

GetDown hope your DD is OK. My DD had a high temp a couple of weeks ago and I rang NHS Direct but it had gone down again an hour later and she was fine (just got a cold). How did the psych go yesterday? At least you've been sleeping well.

Madmouse sorry to hear you're feeling a bit ground down and weary.

My DP is still not 100% well from his virus and is back at work but needs a bit of mollycoddling still so I'm having to try and be nice to him! Am really bored of talking about my sleep now but it is up and down still. The night before last the neighbours woke me talking and laughing at 1am (on a Sunday night!). I eventually got to sleep but am now on edge going to sleep and last night couldn't seem to drop off properly - kept waking. Am getting nervous about going back to work and how I'll cope but the only thing to do is get on with it, go back, and then at least I won't have to worry about it anymore, and I suppose eventually I will feel normal again. Am tempted to go back to GP for MORE pills to help in the event I can't sleep before work, but think I"ll have to try and ride this out.

It's so BORING having problems with sleep isn't it?! .

Morning all

How tired can you be after spending from 10.30 to 9.30 in bed mostly sleeping I'm going craz...

Fell asleep instantly (was very tired and very low) but woke from ds having a midnight play session at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep for ages then from neighbours dogs yapping in the back garden at 7 (every bl**dy day )then slept on and off until 8.30 then too tired to move until 9.30 when dh got ds up (who was catching up after midnight party...)

I just don't want to feel like this - everything hazy with tiredness.

Hi there

Sorry you are both feeling a bit fed up. madmouse it?s awful to get up feeling tired still, but you do sound like you had a disturbed night, so not surprising really. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Take things easy today.

arcadia I know exactly what you mean, it is very boring constantly to be worrying about sleep and not sleeping. Thank goodness we can all have a little moan on here and none of us mind! I find it really helps to talk on here, because I can offload somewhere other than to DH!!

I had a disturbed night ? DD had a high temperature last night. Gave her calpol at bedtime but she was up again at 1:30am ? a bit shaky and slightly confused . Then up again at 4:50am. DH brought her into our bed which was a bad idea, as she kicks us and thrashes around. DH took her back to her own bed at 6am and we all got another hour or so.

Don?t feel too tired today, but DD still had a temp of 38.2 this morning. Have left her with my mum, and come to work. She?s supposed to go to pre-school this afternoon, so don?t know whether she will go. There?s no runny nose, coughing, sickness or anything, just the high temp. And she seems ok in herself.

AF due next Tuesday, and looks from my chart like we timed it right so just have to wait and see. I will be able to do a test Monday or Tuesday, and in the meantime trying not to drive myself too made with possible symptom spotting. Trying not to get my hopes up, it?s unusual to succeed on first attempt, isn?t it.

Hope everyone has an ok day. How are you becky?

Forgot to say, the psychiatrist appointment yesterday went really well!!! This despite getting the horrible one who normally makes me feel 10x worse. He said my next appointment will be in 6 months time, (normally they?re every 3 months) because I am doing so well! They?ve never reduced it to 6 months before.

He was a bit baffled what to put on my notes in terms of prescription though ? I take 3.75mg mirtazapine, which is a quarter of the smallest dose they make . He said the pharmacist would not be happy if he put that on my prescription, so we are going to keep the prescription at 15mg, but I will continue to cut my tablets?. Fine by me!

He was also quite helpful re. my anxieties about mirtazapine and possible pregnancy. Said that I have to make the decision that is right in our circumstances, that it is better to stay well than have a crisis, and also that whatever happens I should be happy with my decision and have no regrets.

Getdown that is great news - confirmation (if you needed it) that you are doing very very well indeed

I'm proud of you!!

Hi all! I'm here! GetDown that's great news and sound advice indeed from the psychiatrist.

Arcadia it is BORING this sleep thing.

If it cheers you up, please feel sorry for me at the moment as the main builder is totally massacering The Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody at the moment. It is NOT making me think of that lovely Patrick Swazey moment in Ghost at all!!!!

Right: result of early night:

Sleep 12-3 and 5-7 after taking two neurofen to remove the aches from tossing and turning. ds awake for most of that time being extremely hapy with me becoming extremely angry with him (normally I can switch off from his happy songs and go back to sleep).

I feel awful. Need to go to work now...

Hope you've done better xx

Oh madmouse How frustrating!

DD got us up 3 times last night, with strange requests like "can I hold your hand?" and "I need water!" Think she is still a bit ill.

Thankfully I did manage to get to sleep quite quickly after going to bed at 9:30 (knackered... could i be pregnant ) but the night wakenings, and finally giving in at 6:30am, and I feel tired again.

Hope work goes ok madmouse thinking of you xxx

Can I join you?

I already know Getdown from another thread [waves].

I've been on Mirtazapine for about a year,but have been slowly cutting my dose from 30 to 15mg.Then taking one every other night,now I've stopped them entirely.I've been fine with little anxiety and no side effects apart from being unable to sleep.I haven't had a whole nights sleep for 2 weeks now and am getting desperate.I've never been a great sleeper and often have a night or two when I am awake until 3ish,but I'd sleep really well the next night and go back to normal.Now it seems that my body is unable to get to sleep without Mirtazapine.Last night,at 3am I was so desperate to sleep that I ended up taking one and was asleep within minutes.I don't know what to do now.Is it a side effect that will wear off or will I be like this for good now?I'm so tired that I nearly passed out this morning and had to come home from work.I daren't sleep now,although I feel like I could,because I'm terrified that I'll be even worse tonight.

I'm going to attempt to go to my afternoon job and and I'll check in later.

Hi there MrsThisIsTheCadillacOfNailguns nice to see you again!

sounds to me like you've come off it too quickly. From my experience, mirtazapine is a bit of a b**ch to get off.

I have only ever taken a max of 15mg but even so I have been reducing my dose since June

The dr.s tell you it's fine to just stop once you get down to 15mg, but I (as well as hundreds of people out there on forums) know this isn't always the case.

I feel my mood / anxiety is really fine now, totally better / get on with life etc. But when I stop the mirtazapine I can no longer sleep I then have a bit of a helter-skelter of doom whereby my mood dips and my anxiety rockets so then I "look" like a depressed person again, even though I know I am not.

My advice is to chip tiny pieces off with a knife. That's what I've been doing. I've stablised on 3.75 (quarter tablet ) and am too scared to reduce any further as I NEED my sleep!

Also recommend avoiding the "every other night" thing, as I've been told it can lead to lurches and dips of the drug in your blood levels.

2 weeks of not sleeping is hell. I don't think I'd have lasted as long as you have TBH. As frustrating as it may feel, I recommend you go back to the 15mg, stablise again, then start reducing by tiny amounts, and give yourself lots of time

xxx

I am sooooo not complaining guys, just making an observation as after the last ten months of weird restless sleep and occassional insomnia this is weird, but I can't get out of bed in the morning at the moment. Going to bed at 10pm and struggling to rouse myself at 7.30am! I am not going to count any chickens though as I am so worried about jinxing things but 'this' is the old me.

yay! Go becky!!

I've been sleeping pretty well too. Have been putting Paul McKenna on most nights, and usually don't hear the end of the CD!!

Hi all

Becky well done you

Getdown how is DD? Did you get to sleep?

Hi MrsThis - welcome! I'm not an official insomniac - just a very messy sleeper due to PTSD and too much going on in life.

I slept from about 12-6.30 with some restless patches but no waking hours so I'm pleased, even if tiredness is not letting up...

of to counselling at 9.30. DS has been collected by school taxi so what to do - write or hoover?

Write!

I'm sorry to be a wet blanket when everyone seems to be going OK at the mo. but I feel really miserable today. Neighbours are being noisy around our bedtime (not really something we can complain to them about about - conversation, TV on and doors closing) and DD is having coughing fits every night around 11pm just as we are dropping off. So I am now having trouble getting to sleep as well as waking in the night.

Becky you give me hope, and GetDown I'm so impressed that you are TTC again - I don't think I will ever be able to have another child after this experience.

I have counselling this afternoon, then seeing the GP again next Tuesday. I start the work the week after next and my sleep is all f*ed up again and I'm terrified. This is s**t.

oh no arcadia you are not a wet blanket at all! Sorry to hear you are struggling a bit. How annoying about your neighbours. Do you know them? Maybe a friendly word about the TV volume wouldn't be too bad?

We have a bit of a gang of teenage boys in our street, and they are all about 17 so have just got into mini-motorbike scooter things They drive up and down our road really late at night and it's soooo noisy! We have a neighbour in the next street who is a good friend and a police officer, he said he would come down next time it happens.

Re. TTC - I know, am I mad?! However, arcadia I did feel the same as you when my DD was your DD's age. NEVER AGAIN. But DD is so lovely, I have totally softened. Maybe you will too one day, but it doesn't matter if not. I realise every day how blessed I am to have DD, and even if we never have another I know how lucky I am

I'm sure work will help give your body clock a good kick start again. You might feel bad the first few days getting up early, but you'll soon adjust to the new rhythm.

Thanks GetDown you're very sweet. I had a pretty rough day today, very tired and stressed after only a few hours sleep. I had a useful session with my counsellor today though. She is really, really good. She specialises in parenting issues. Basically it's all starting to make sense and I can tell we're getting to the point because the last few sessions I have been in tears most of the time.

I am so sick of it because I've had years of counselling before, but having a baby has brought loads more stuff to the surface.

I just can't cope with this level of anxiety that I'm living with anymore. My usual coping strategies are just not possible with the lifestyle I now have - I know that if I could do my yoga twice a week and have time to myself I could cope. However, that is not the situation right now. So I will have to get some medication and my counsellor thinks I should push to be referred to a psychiastrist because of my family history. I've always just thought 'oh I'm a stressy person' but I can't do this on my own. DP is not that helpful as he has run out of patience (such as he had to begin with) with feelings that he just doesn't understand at all. He just gets annoyed and impatient with me being anxious, which makes me much worse.

I'm seeing a new GP at the surgery on Tuesday and have booked a double appointment. I want a plan and I want some proper help, not being fobbed off like usual. My friend saw him recently with similar problem and apparently he was really good. If he isn't I'm going to change GP surgeries.

Sorry to go on just need to clarify in my own mind what I'm doing and why. I really need to hang on to my job and it is such a stressful job anyway that I need to take action now, before I go back.