Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

Fetching the children from school etc. is essential. Stuff like cleaning is not. Just do what you must do today. Sounds like the builders can look after themselves, with their bottles of juice! Just leave them to it, I say.

You never know maybe DH is in a meeting? I?ve often stewed all day when DH hasn?t replied to an email, only to be told in the evening ?oh I didn?t see it I was on a course all day? or something. All that stewing for nothing!

Even if he has seen it, it?s not always easy to concentrate on an emotional email when you?re at work. Probably is best to talk about it later when he gets home. But at least you?ve let him know that his reaction last night has affected you.

You are totally right that you will come through it the other side. Do you know what? I think your body adjusts to needing less sleep. There?s no way before all this happened, I would have been ok on 4 hours sleep, but today I am just getting on with it. I am sure my body is adjusting to needing less.

Sorry madmouse didn?t mean to ignore you. I started writing that message to becky earlier but got called away to a meeting.

Sorry to hear you are struggling a bit It?s awful lying awake and getting upset and stressed about not sleeping isn?t it? Last night I had to really try hard to convince myself I didn?t really care that I was still awake and it was 2:30. Very hard, but managed it, and I did drop off in the end. It seems the more you wish you weren?t in this situation, the worse it gets.

Glad that your lovely friend came over to support you last night, and that you had a fair amount of sleep in the end.

xxxx

Madmouse glad you slept better last night. It is awful, this 'sleep anxiety' or whatever it is. For me it seems to go away for two weeks and then attack me suddenly and one night I'll just start thinking 'oh I hope I sleep well' and, well, my brain says 'ha, ha, not tonight!' There is a definite pattern with me in that it is far worse when I am ovulating and just before my period. I don't know why though. My hormones must still be all over the place.

GetDown you're right. Builders are fine! Cleaning! Pah! What's that then?

becky - do you think it's hormonal then?

Have you tried Agnus Castus? I had it a few years ago to try and stabilise my cycle and I believe it did help.

I got some from Holland & Barrett.

I'm struggling today. I'm soooo emotional it is really frustrating - keep worrying the builders are going to see that I've been crying most of today. DH has replied to another email but not the 'I wasn't picking a fight at 1am' email (really he should know me better - picking a fight at 1am!!!). I just can't stop crying it's so annoying. I'm so tired :(

oh becky

This is the tiredness talking, it is not the real "you".

You WILL sleep better tonight. Honestly you will.

HUGS xxxxx

I don't like the tired me :( This isn't the real me at all.

at least you can recognise this isn't really "you".

FWIW I am flagging now too

Just can't muster up the energy for anything, but have to keep going, DD's tea to make, milk to buy for work, sorting out dinner for the rest of us.... Arrgh.

Thinking of you becky we will get through this.

Hope you are ok too arcadia?

Thinking of you too, and Arcadia.

When will we get through this? I don't think I have much more strength for being all 'yeah I can cope with sleep deprivation!' anymore. Truth is, it's not fun, it's hard, hard, hard work and nobody else in the real world gets it, do they?

And DH is on his way home and I'm scared in case he's still stroppy. If he is I'll just melt into a pool of anxiety and tears I know it. DS1 is at Beavers, DS2 playing with trains, DS3 eating rice crackers for his pudding.

I think it's really mean of your DH to make you feel like this becky. As if insomnia isn't hard enough to deal with, without being shouted at in the middle of the night

Would your DH consider an email from my DH?

GetDown he is normally lovely in the middle of the night but he has man flu at the moment and DS3 had woken him up about twice already by then so I have to look at it from that perspective. The last thing he needed was wailing wifey 'I can't sleeeeep!' I can't expect perfection all of the time. I'm not sure what DH would think, to be honest I think he'd be upset I'd talked about it to someone he doesn't know or has never met.

He's home now and being nice and normal, as if nothing happened. If I'm feeling brave I might ask him about last night when everyone's in bed.

sorry becky didn't mean to sound the way it came out. Of course it was a silly idea.

Nooo not silly. It's DH, he's a very private person (the total opposite of me - he's only just joined facebook!). I think it's a lovely idea but just not sure he'd react the right way. It's a shame because I think it would be lovely for your DH to share insomnia tales with mine!!

Just popping on to wish everyone soem good sleep

Got back from London an hour ago and am just winding down.

grrr felt fine last night, fell asleep quickly, now have been up since 4.30 feeling sick and been sick twice

what's a girl to do to get some sleep around here!

Madmouse awwwww you!!!! Why are you feeling sick? It is anxiety or something physical? Big hug xxx

DH and I had a long talk last night, started out about him snapping at me at 1am, which he basically said was just frustration with his cold, DS3 and then me winging about sleep. He said he wished he could give me the support I need all the time and then we went on to talk about how I hide my problems from everyone in the real world, his parents think everything is fine, my mum thinks I am better, my friends think I am fine (although the odd 'I can't sleep' comment in facebook sometimes gets some sympathy out of them!). He thought it was because I was ashamed of being seen as 'weak' somehow but actually I think it is because if I pretend everything is fine, then I hope it will be (and often it is, except these blips).

Despite going to bed with a red, very blotchy face from lots of crying, and very emotional, I did sleep, a lot. Feel spacey now! Arcadia and GetDown I hope you two slept well last night. I just want to find a big field and scream from the top of my lungs 'IT'S NOT FAIR' and hope that helps :(

Glad you slept becky. Poor you madmouse - do you think you?ve got a bug, or is it anxiety making you sick? Two bad nights in a row is really hard.

I went to bed at 10 last night, feeling really really tired. But I was still awake well after 11pm and I was thinking ?oh no, please, not another bad night? , but eventually I did drift off, and woke at 6:50 to DD wailing ?I need a wee!? So not a bad night all in all, but still annoyed and perplexed why it takes so long to fall asleep despite being so tired?

Can I join you in your field becky? IT?S NOT FAIR!!! I USED TO BE NORMAL!!! I USED TO BE ABLE TO COPE!!! I USED TO BE ABLE TO SLEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh - definitely a d&v bug or food poisening. And I have huge fear of being sick - well bee nsick plenty now - hope it's over soon...

Was meant to have a rare morning for me as well....

Madmouse I have a fear of being sick too, it's an actual phobia. DS1 told me there's a bug going around his school and it sends me on edge with anxiety. I really hope you feel better soon xxx

HI ladies - just popping in to say hello. Sorry you are still having rubbish nights .
I have been concentrating on having a bit of normality wherever possible.

Have had some better days thank goodness after all those awful months. Still not completely out of the woods i dont think (dont want to tempt fate ) but taking lots of deep breaths and hoping ...

Kizzie x

Kizzie it good to hear from you as I was wondering how you were doing :)

Hi kizzie so great to hear you've had some better days. What meds have you settled on in the end.

Glad to hear you are ok.

I seem to have got the anxiety about getting to sleep again. Last night it was crippling. I did fall asleep after dH came to bed though. GetDown like you it seemed to take ages and I just felt so cross and depressed about it. Woke up this morning with stomach full of anxiety. I just want this to go away. I can't enjoy my life and I am a happy person and I'm not able to be happy at the moment. I hate being sad :( So many of my facebook friends seem to be not sleeping so this must be normal, but I can't seem to accept it as normal.

Sorry, very me post. I hope you all slept ok :)

PS Hope you are feeling netter today madmouse

Morning all

Hi Kizzie - glad to see you back in a more positive frame of mind

Becky!! - you will be fine. You have been sleeping so well! You just don't dare believe you are getting better. So every bad night is 'See it's still here'. I know, I get like that, not with sleep but with certain elements of my healing process. I make enormous progress, then trip over the next hurdle and think 'See nothing has changed, I'm still in this bad place' (That's where a good friend is a good friend and kicks me up the behind usually )

I slept lots during the day yesterday, still went to bed 10.45 (really early for me) and woke up at 7!! Still really tired but hey what a night, that's been months! So still queasy and a sore back and throat from being sick (get very strong stress responses - Becky with me it's not a proper phobia but it reminds me of certain elements of the abuse I suffered) but getting there nicely.