Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

Hi all

Getdown I was wondering - you sound very certain about having a pattern of a good and a bad night. Do you now expect that to happen? Does that make a difference in how you approach your nights?

Just wondering because I have patterns too - I go through times of waking at 4.15 on the dot every morning - lasts a few weeks then it changes to a pattern of struggling to fall asleep which lasts a few weeks etc.

Guess I mean to say this may not last.

I am still taking St Johnsworth btw - planning to take it until I've been stable for a few months like you would with normal ADs, unless I conceive then I will have to take the plunge and stop straight away. I do feel they help me.

Hope we all sleep well.

I think yuo're right madmouse we can get into a pattern. But thankfully I broke the pattern last night! Two good nights in a row - yeah!

I did wake up at 3am though, which seems to be fairly consistent, but got back off again.

Wouldn't it be funny if we ended up having a baby at the same time?

Yay for two good nights well done xx

It would be lovely to have babies together - we could try to keep each other sane ???

(for more reasons than one the next pregnancy wil be extremely stressful)

We had a friend round last night for dinner and after and he has a really silly sense of humour so we had a good laugh. Was in bed jsut gone midnight and it took a while to fall asleep but I properly woke up at 8am. Had some really horrible dreams and that nasty feeling of a new memory about to burst in, so not feeeling very rested.

Singing in church this morning, will take my mind of things nicely.

how did your singing go this morning madmouse?

I have come home from church in tears

Just been feeling a sense of dread about this trip to cornwall. Sat down to try to do the shopping list this morning and just feel totally overwhelmed (buying for 6 people)

Then in church for some unknown reason the pastor pointed at me and said my name during the sermon. We are talking a big congregation here of several hundred, and it was harvest too so was packed.

I don't even know why he pointed me out. I just wanted to crawl into a hole. Have come home sobbing.

Now I am starting to think I imagined it because no one mentioned it after the service, but he definitely said my name

The singing went fine thanks but I'm feeling rubbish. My friend greeted me with 'You're not looking well today, are you struggling?' before I'd even said a thing

Sorry you ended so upset in church - was your dh with you? Can he clarify what was or wasn't said?

If you want any help with lists or food for lots of people come talk to me - I'm a bit of an expert - especially at keeping it simple and not taking too much

(think cooking for a Christian youth camp with 18 kids and 6 leaders in a remote scout hut...)

x

thanks madmouse I've done the online order now, but feeling totally stressed out about it.

DH was there, he hasn't mentioned the thing that happened in church. I don't really know how to bring it up

Sorry that you are feeling rubbish. It's horrible when people say things like that and it brings you down. I usually get "oh you're looking so TIRED" - even after relatively good nights. Just makes me feel worse!

Glad you managed to do the order!

Are you worried dh will tell you you've imagined it? We all know you are not crazy! Although you may have dozed off and dreamed it? That's something I could have done.

I didn't mind my friend saying that to me - i would do the same if he looked bad, that's the kind if relationship we have. Just hate it when I look bad and it shows on the outside.

sorry mean feel bad and shows on the outside

I really don't think I imagined it. Maybe I am going crazy?!

Will have to ask DH.

I could feel my face going bright red when it happened. Weird.

Hello!
I do not have time to read everything. Just wanted to say thank you for the support the other nights. My ADs seem to have slowly started working and I am sleeping/coping a bit better.

I wish you all a good night's sleep

getdown you have to ask your DH - I am really curious! Are you sure you didn't kind of switch off then tune back in and he said a word similar to your name?!

Hi arcadia I asked DH about it - he said it definitely did happen (phew I am not going mad!) but he thought he meant the OTHER person with the same name as me (my name is quite unusual but there is another person the same in the church)

However, I really did feel he was staring straight at me. Who knows? I'm just going to forget it.

Had a pretty terrible day yesterday, getting stressed over the forthcoming trip to cornwall and consequently falling out with DH. We've made up thankfully but I ended up taking a zopiclone last night

Ah well.

GetDown remind me when are you going away? How many nights? It's horrible falling out - I hate it and avoid it :(

Builders are back today and being noisy and banging. I'm cold too. How DS3 sleeps through this I don't know but somehow he still manages to have his two naps a day.

DH has 'man flu' but is at work being brave.

Hi becky was wondering if you are ok as haven?t heard from you in a while

I do understand that when you?re sleeping well, you don?t want to somehow ?jinx? it by coming on here!! Insomnia is such a funny thing, it can be a bit like an infectious disease I find!

We are going to Cornwall. Thursday coming back Sunday, so three nights. It?s for a family birthday. TBH we?ve considered not going, as it?s such a long way to go for only a few days. But no, there?s no getting round it, we have to go. I?ve done all the online shopping now too.

DH and I had a good talk about it all last night. He agreed that he will be on ?tension duty? ? spotting tension and distracting / dissipating where he can. I love him He is also going to do all the driving, which is a big relief for me as I hate motorways.

In my head I just have to get this week out the way, hopefully survive relatively unscathed, give a few weeks to recover again, then maybe TTC!

Oh GetDown am I that transparent? It has been partly that, that I've been sleeping well and don't want to jinx it by thinking too much about sleep (although I have checked the thread about four times a day to see how the rest of you are) and partly that I genuinely have been really busy with work (and trips to the beach). I worked most of Saturday except a trip to town and working again this week, not easy with men to worry about too!

Just think, this time next week, whatever happens at the weekend it'll all be over and you don't have the dread feeling anymore. That's just one week.

Hi

I slept ok last night, woke up about 3am but eventually dozed off again and then felt awful when the alarm went off. I've only worked three hours this morning so easy day at work for me today. Took a 90 year old man whom I see regularly out for a walk. He has dementia so only get a little conversation, but he's lovely.

GetDown sorry to hear you're getting stressed about going away. I'm sure you'll be ok once you're there. I definitely think the whole build up to going is worse. This was definitely true when I went to Devon, and three nights should pass fairly quickly. It's good your DH is so caring and supportive.

*Becky hope you're sleeping ok at the moment and the builders aren't demanding too many cups of tea:)

Hi Becky snap! We have the plumbers in at the moment ripping out our bathroom. Also DP has just gone down with man flu! DD had a bug over the weekend so I think it's the same thing. Touch wood I'm OK at the mo but for a tickly throat. Am spending time at my mum's house in the daytime (ten miles away) whilst the men do the work and we are getting on better than we were but she is still annoying, takes no initiative in helping with DD etc. We are back home this evening but may have to spend the next couple of nights staying at mum's.

Have been sleeping well too but tonight is a big test - unsettled with all going on and DP ill (just gave him one of my sominex as we ran out of nightnurse!) so I'll have to do the night if DD wakes and morning with DD.

GetDown hope your holiday goes OK. Hopefully because you've worried about it, it will not be as bad as you expect. You may even enjoy bits of it, you never know! Holidays with family are hard work though...

I've had the night from hell :(. Virtually no sleep - just dozing. DH shouted at me at 1am. I have no idea why. DS3 was crying and I said I'd heard him moaning, and said 'I haven't been asleep yet' and DH was really off with me. So I just said 'what's up, are you cross withe me?' and he starts shouting at me saying I've turned it on to me, accusing me of picking a fight in the middle of the night. I was distraught as I had no idea what he was on about. So I've been awake more or less all night now. He didn't really say goodbye to me this morning. I'm so cross with him and so upset. I feel so bad as I've been a bit distant on here recently to try not to jinx my sleep, very selfish of me, and here I am asking for your support again. I don't deserve it. I don't understand how DH could have turned on me like that.

Arcadia I hope you had a good night :)

poor you becky I had terrible night too hardly any sleep. DD kept waking, DP was tossing and turning with fever, I was worrying about everything, going to my mum'sn etc.

Arcadia it's not fair. We'll have to keep each other going today :)

DH has just sent me an email about missing dummies as if everything were normal. Grrrrr.

Can I join in, as I had a rubbish night too awake till 2:30am then up again at 6:30. Arrggh. So frustrating! 4 hours sleep is just rubbish.

I had such a stressful day yesterday, and then to top it all off I sliced the top of my thumb off whilst chopping the veg blood everywhere! Had to pressurise it for about 20 minutes before it would stop bleeding. Yuk yuk yuk!

Hey becky you poor love, am so sorry to hear what happened with DH that?s so horrible. I hate conflict too, if that had happened to me I would have been awake all night too Hey none of this talk about not deserving support, ok? You deserve support as much as anyone. It?s not selfish to not post for a while because you?ve been sleeping well. Of course not! It?s an encouragement to me that you;ve been having so many good nights lately. And anyway, we do have RL lives too!!!

Could you email DH back and ask him what happened last night? Do you think you were tossing and turning and maybe keeping him awake? My DH is generally very patient with me, but even he has his limits sometimes and can get frustrated.

How are you both feeling? I don?t feel too bad so far considering I only had a few hours. Will probably feel worse later. Will check in later to see how everyone?s doing.

I feel sick. I don't think I had any deep sleep at all, I hate this.

I think I will email DH but he usually ignores emails about emotional stuff when he's at work. But I can't talk to him about it either with everyone around. Sigh.

GetDown you are so kind to me. Sorry you had a bad night too. It's just awful, awful, awful.

Well even if he doesn't reply, it will get it out your head and off your chest.

Will also help to open dialogue when he gets home.

Adopt your emergency strategy for today: Do the bare minimum that needs to get done to survive, and repeat the mantra "I will sleep better tonight". I seem to be following a bit of a pattern of one bad night, one good night, so am hoping on a better one myself tonight.

I have emailed him. No reply. Not surprised.

Ah well. I wish I could do the bear minimum but have work to do, builders to keep an eye on, children to fetch from nursery and school, etc. I've been here many times before - it's horrible but I've come out the other side!

Hi all

Becky that sounds like the kind of sleep deprived misunderstood anger over nothing that will prove to be nothing much once you give each other a hug tonight - you will get through this on the other side.

Getdown - hope you feel ok, 4 hours is just about the survival amount of sleep isn't it. Better again tonight xxx

I had a very bad night the other night, for the first time I was actually stressed about being awake and unable to go back to sleep. Horrid - I was about to get up and then I must have dropped off again but i felt awful in the morning.

Telling my Dad has stirred up so much new memories and old worries and feelings I'm really struggling at the moment, last night my friend came because I needed support and it was good to talk it all through. He didn't leace until 11.30 (couldn't get here until 9.30) and it took me another hour to go to bed and even longer to go to sleep. But apart from a wakey spell at 5 I slept until 8.30. So in a better place today.

Thinking of you xx