I absolutely cannot keep up with this thread! I've literally just finished reading the last two days and I go to post and a load of new stuff appears. Stop writing, people! Maybe we need some sub-categories ...
Well done to ALL yesterday's runners, june, cherry, muffin, running, futurity (is that me or does that sound like something nice to eat?)
OK so slightly longer race report.
Had a lovely but very abstemious evening out in Chester on Saturday, up bright and early on Sunday, nice porridge breakfast in my room overlooking the start and ensured all digestive issues sorted. Ahem. futurity - for me that means no wheat, dairy or alcohol in the week before a run, or I know I will pay dearly.
My friend and I wandered down to the start and pretty much shat ourselves became quite apprehensive, quickly realising that this was definitely a "runners" marathon, not like my last one which had a very fun-run atmosphere. No fancy dress. Everyone else very lean and fit looking. We joined the start at the back which was marked 5 hours +. Out of 3,000 starters there were, I shit ye not, only maybe 20 of us in the 4 hours + start area. Gulp.
The route was really pretty, through Chester centre then out into the countryside, over into Wales (which I found ridiculously exciting). Weather was a lot warmer than I'd expected, but no rain. Literally within the first mile - first uphill section even - I felt my calf "pop" and twinge but ignored it as you do.
All was well at the halfway mark and we were doing fine and passing loads of people (not hard as we started literally at the back). The headwind was picking up quite badly though and any exposed bits were really tough, being buffeted around pretty badly. My shoulders are really bad today from hunching over!
At 16 miles I felt good apart from the nagging calf pain which was now hurting all the time and not just uphill. I asked my friend to go on because I didn't want to hold her back (I thought my calf was going to completely go any minute). I then made the stupid mistake of taking my rings off my swollen ring finger and putting them on my little finger. Oh dear. One mile later off they pinged.
I was right next to a large drain and there was no sight of them. I looked for a couple of minutes then started crying 
as I was sure they had gone for good. Two lovely people took pity on the blubbing beetroot snotfest in front of them and stopped to help me look. It took about 10 minutes in total but we found my engagement ring rolled back down the hill and my wedding ring in the dirt under a hedge!
Anyway, so by 17 miles I'd lost my stride a bit and stopping for a bit had made my leg start throbbing - so I trotted on as best I could and finally made it - 5 hours 36. My friend did it in 5.20.
Nice goody bag and medal, really good quality long sleeved top. I thought it was very well-organised and while the numbers of supporters weren't huge they were very friendly and enthusiastic. The course was very pretty, not massively hilly though I felt every incline unfortunately with my gammy leg.
Overall position 2,330th M/F position 574, old gimmer category position 133. Would've loved to get nearer 5.10-20, but I did my best. I think the mumsnet wooden spoon is safe in my sweaty hands for a while yet.
Oh yes and I did obviously at key moments mutter "YES LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!" Me and my friend had a good old snigger about that one.
Oh and knob alert - very low! Chester is obviously quite genteel!