Westminstenders: Blue Passports

[RedToothBrush]

Yay for the blue passports.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all

May next year bring us £350 million for the NHS, cake, unicorns, financial passporting, access to the single market, Irish love and of course control to the people.

(Apologies been up to my eyeballs. Normal service will resume after Christmas).

I couldn't sleep last night so I was thinking about the predictions people had made for the coming year. This is what I came up with:

1. The challenge to nullify article 50, on the grounds that it was illegally triggered because the referendum result was never ratified, is successful.
2. The clock is stopped and Theresa May - realising that everything they've done already will have to be re done as it's no longer legal thinks 'sod it I'm off - it's as good a time as any.' she retires from political life on health grounds.
3. This leads to a power vacuum at the top and much (more) infighting in the Tory party. Eventually either Boris or Gove or Mogg-face come out on top.
4. Meanwhile at the Maidenhead by election Lord Buckethead sweeps to victory. (This is the one to watch out for - as you could put a blue rosette on a mangy cockerel in Maidenhead and have it get in, all the non tories cease with sensible voting and vote for a joke candidate to show how world weary they are - and LB has had a lot of publicity since last time.)
5. Poor buckethead doesn't have to worry too much about being an mp when all he was was a joke, though, because due to massive unpopularity of Tory leader (whichever one it is) the tory rebels refusing to do follow this leader and the fact that they are yet another unelected prime minister - nothing is getting through - nothing gets done so there is a vote of no confidence - new general election.
6. Except rather than having a robotic and unpopular leader - the tories now have a toxic leader. Scotland takes away the Tory seats they gave out in May. Labour just squeak the biggest party - but not a majority.
7. They scrabble around looking for coalition partners - will the lib dems dare? will it be the SNP? Will Plaid or the Greens throw their weight behind this? We end up with a coalition of chaos which is approximately 100 0000 0000 0000 000X more strong and stable than the current shower.
8. Debate in parliament about whether to ratify the old referendum or have a new one.
9. Emboldened by their (sort of win) via the youth vote, and backed up by remain parties, labour opt for a new referendum.
10. They refuse to do this, however, until there have been full impact assessments on how brexit will affect the country and they have decided what brexit will actually look like - kicking the can down the road by -well they could keep this going forever- but at least a year.
11. Either the second referendum never happens (more likely) or it does but under much stricter regulation - monitoring of campaigns, 60% majority, 70% of electorate have to vote etc. In which case remain wins (by default if nothing else)
12. By the end of 2021 Corbyn has brought about his dream of nationalised rail service and so, having accomplished all he ever wanted in this world, pootles off to his allotment to grow marrows.
13. A strong pound, the end of austerity and a booming economy means Keir Starmer storms to victory in 2023.
14. At which point there are only 11 members of the Tory party left in government. And would you believe it - it's the rebels! Boris Gove and Mogg face are consigned to the dustbin of ignominy.
15. In disgust Nigel Farage leaves Britain forever - heading for the states- where he is arrested by the FBI for his links to Russia and spends 20 years in a federal prison.

And with that I wish you all a happy Christmas!

I'm soo happy I'm hugging myself all day.

Icantreachthepretzels

That would be the most perfect year. I'd love to see Lord Buckethead in the HoC. That would be awesome.

I'd also add in that despite a lot of online frothing any attempt to arrange a protest at the stopping of brexit results in a small raggle raggle group of alt-righters only, who are then discounted by Parliament as they belong in the main to the BNP and Britain First. The daily mail folds as given the renewed pro-EU feeling across the country no business will risk advertising in it. Pro-EU feeling booms across the country as we

Sorry posted too soon.
......all realise what we came so close to losing. (You don't know what you've got till it's gone) and David Davis ends up bankrupt. Also David Cameron tries to make a come back but is booed everywhere he goes.

And the John redwoods of the world retire to a mountain cave to write more fiction, which is sadly eaten by the goats and never published

John Redwood
@johnredwood
'Grandma told Little Red, white and blue riding hood she needed to be very careful not to encounter the big EU wolf who these days prowled freely in their local area. She was to rush to her Grandmother’s without delay.'

What the fuck is that tweet? Is the world actually going mad. Has someone been putting something in the water supply?

Too much eggnog perhaps.

One of the things I find most incomprehensible about the whole Brexit fiasco is that people are actually listening to fools like John Redwood.

The man was an utter joke under the Major government. Why we give the time of day to politicians of his lowly calibre beats me!

I love your predictions, pretzel. Please tell me you have an unblemished record in prophecy .

Well lala I can tell you this - on the night I had my ears pierced I dreamed that I lost my earring the next day at school. The next day at school - I lost my earring! I mean, step aside Mystic Meg because that is some woo shit right there!

So currently my prophecy record does stand at 100%

Grandma told Little Red, white and blue riding hood she needed to be very careful not to encounter the big EU wolf who these days prowled freely in their local area.

Because we are better than that, we can speculate on the reintroduction of beavers to Gloucestershire ...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-42278606

Meanwhile, as a fuck you to John Redwood, I would happily see wolves reintroduced to the UK. They'd certainly help keep the deer population down (how many people die a year in deer strikes ?).

I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf.

(Weirdly I'm not at all a dog person. But wolves are lovely).

I'm sure Boris knows all about wolves in antiquity.

There's a wolf sanctuary near Reading way and I believe they have been reintroduced somewhere in the Scottish Highlands. They are lovely animals. Not sure it would be good for all those sheep we are planning on getting though.

I assumed that tweet was a joke from painintheear -just an example of the tripe he would feed to the mountain goats.

But I just googled.

Fuck me, he's written a whole story
surely, if he had any credibility at all (doubtful), that must be well and truly lost forever.

Do you think his account has been hacked?

Well
someone's opened the festive Bailey's early....

Hang on, that isn't a joke by pain? Please tell me that's not true

No joke

johnredwoodsdiary.com/2017/12/23/little-red-white-and-blue-riding-hood-a-topical-christmas-story/

I could live as long as Methusalah and still not have time to read a John Redwood tweet narrative.

Sorry, Pain, tried to read it, but had to give up after a couple of paragraphs. The urge to vomit was just too great.

I haven’t read it either so no offence taken! I’ve just put the link up to show that sadly it does exist but I wouldn’t expect anyone to read it (and tbh who wants to give him extra clicks anyway)

Back in ancient times in 2016, did red or other posters encourage us to keep referendum leaflets and posters, for future ref?
It's not just the NHS lies, there were others, it might be interesting to see.

I'd like to see something keep down the deer population my way too - a lot of deer getting under cars. I have deer damage to mine from running over one after another car had hit it and it fell right under my wheels. Was being tailgated by an arsehole at the time so couldn't do anything else but the original car that hit was clearly a writeoff.

sorry to interrupt story time with that nice mr redwood.

annandale Fri 22-Dec-17 19:45:07
To capture the true meaning of modern Britain, shurely either Burberry check or Orange. With a sash.

And yes, Woman, this blue passport business is pandering of the worst kind.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=GzBq0n8dxFQ

This can never be posted too often

lurkinghusband ah yes the beavers, coming to a stream near me soon. There is a school of thought that suggests the flash flooding would be less of a problem if the Forestry Commission would stop clear felling ridiculously large areas outside the management plan, but dodgy quango management is for another discussion.
I just saw Teresa Mays Xmas message to the troops on the news, nauseating. I took particular issue with her saying the First World War was fought in the cause of freedom...err what books were you reading Teresa?