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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?

354 replies

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

OP posts:
DappledThings · 17/07/2025 11:47

Not a chance in hell I would do this. Take turns staying with her, or keep her up. You might even get volunteers to take turns staying with her if you have friends and family there who fancy a break for a bit

happytobee · 17/07/2025 11:49

Have you never heard of Maddie Mccann? What happens if the wifi drops, or if the worst case happened (kidnap or choking) 2 minutes is too far away to be able to save the situation.
Also would the bride be happy about someone sat staring at their phone during the reception and potentially needing to quickly leave?

MrsSunshine2b · 17/07/2025 11:50

No, you can't leave an 8 month old alone in a different building.

Abracadabra1 · 17/07/2025 11:51

Absolutely not, what if there's a fire, and you can't get into the building.

JaneEyre40 · 17/07/2025 11:51

Sorry.... absolutely not. Just imagine the worst case scenario and how you would feel, then decide if you should do it

hexagongoldbox · 17/07/2025 11:52

Really don’t see the problem with you keeping her with you and letting her sleep in her pram (or not) it’s only one night it will be fine

loulouljh · 17/07/2025 11:52

No. What if there was a fire? Take in the pushchair...

LuckyNumberFive · 17/07/2025 11:53

You can't leave a baby alone in a separate building. Jesus Christ. Can't even begin to describe how neglectful that is.

BarnacleBeasley · 17/07/2025 11:54

I would do it if it was the same building, but not a different one. However, it probably wouldn't be that hard to get another babysitter in these circumstances - your DD normally sleeps through, so all you need is for someone to be on the premises and available to save her from a burning building etc. if necessary. And if she does wake up and is freaked out by being with a stranger, they can contact you and you'll be there in three minutes. So it just needs to be someone you can trust, not necessarily someone your DD knows well and who is amazing with babies.

alcoholnightmare · 17/07/2025 11:54

Madeleine McCann

skippy67 · 17/07/2025 11:55

Put her in a pushchair and keep her with you at the wedding. If she won't/can't settle then one of your will have to stay with her in the hotel room. Or take turns. I'm surprised none of the above hasn't occurred to you tbh...

stickmanohstickman · 17/07/2025 12:00

Absolutely not, I’m surprised anyone would consider this. I wouldn’t dream of leaving a baby alone in a hotel room no matter what the circumstances. We took our DC to a wedding at 7 months old - they stayed up a bit later than normal then one of us walked them round in the buggy in a quiet area until we were ready to go up to bed.

LillyLeaf · 17/07/2025 12:00

Not in a million years. You'll just need to take turns. Can't believe you are thinking about this. Get your priorities in check.

Emma543 · 17/07/2025 12:01

Nope really not a good idea sorry, you’ll have to take turns unfortunately

Bunnybear42 · 17/07/2025 12:03

of course you can’t ! Surely you should know this ! Either pop her to bed in her pushchair and keep her with you at all times or take it in turns to stay with her.
her safety and welfare is more important than a wedding !!!! Unbelievable you are even questioning this

NuffSaidSam · 17/07/2025 12:05

I'm quite lax by Mumsnet standards, but you absolutely cannot do this.

Mainly because there is no way that you will be watching and listening to the video feed 100% of the time at a wedding reception. If you did, you'd be so unable to join in with anything/enjoy yourself that you might as well just stay with her in the room.

Squishymallows · 17/07/2025 12:05

No you can’t do this. Put her in buggy or pram and leave her to sleep in a corner of the same room you are in. Or take turns staying in the hotel room

AllPlayedOut · 17/07/2025 12:06

Of course you cannot leave a baby unattended and in a different building! Keep her with you.

Squarestones · 17/07/2025 12:07

At 8 months I'd be letting her sleep in the pram, and if she won't settle then take turns with her.

Dstoat · 17/07/2025 12:08

This can’t be real

Brendathebear · 17/07/2025 12:12

Im a very chilled mum but I wouldn't do this either. Let her stay up late and fall asleep on you. Then put her to bed in a buggy. #problemsolved

SunshineAndFizz · 17/07/2025 12:13

I’m pretty chilled but I wouldn’t do this. A 2 minute run away is too far.

Use a pushchair. Or take turns being with her in the building.

SJM1988 · 17/07/2025 12:18

absolutely not!

We kept our 8 month old up, took the pram and when he passed out let him sleep in that in the room the wedding was in. Ear defenders and he was good asleep from about 9pm to midnight.

The closest we got was a wedding reception at someone's house. We put our then 2 year old down to nap in one of the bedrooms upstairs while we were downstairs (but had a monitor). I'd never do it at a public venue.

patchworkronnie · 17/07/2025 12:19

NO WAY

Groundhogday2025 · 17/07/2025 12:19

No. 1) far, far too young 2) far, far too far away.
A locked hotel room in the same building at least you could argue is not too far from them being asleep upstairs whilst you’re down in the living room in the evening at home.
Also the fact it’s a wedding with presumably a DJ or live music. Are you going to be able to hear the monitor in that environment? If you were just having dinner just the two of you in the hotel restaurant whilst the baby was in a locked room within 60 secs of you, plenty of people on here would still have a problem with this, but that would be more acceptable to me.
A whole different building so you can get jolly at a wedding is too far IMO.
It costs money, but can’t you hire a wedding babysitter? There are agencies who offer this exact service. Otherwise I’d say that you just need to accept that missing out on all the freedoms a childless person has is part and parcel of being a parent.