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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?

354 replies

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

OP posts:
Resetqueen · 17/07/2025 12:20

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doodleschnoodle · 17/07/2025 12:20

Absolutely not. Just have her in the pram? We did a wedding when DD2 was this age and she just fell asleep after the meal in her pram.

doodleschnoodle · 17/07/2025 12:22

Also the venue themselves are telling you not to do this. Does this not give you a clue how inappropriate this would be?

Persephonegoddess · 17/07/2025 12:22

Neglect and can’t even believe you would even consider this as an option

FlexiSadie · 17/07/2025 12:23

Don't be silly. I don't even think it's okay in the same building, assuming it's a hotel.

ThejoyofNC · 17/07/2025 12:23

Jesus Christ I can't believe you could even consider that. Genuinely shocked and should probably bite my tongue.

maudelovesharold · 17/07/2025 12:24

I can’t begin to fathom how you can entertain the idea of leaving your 8 month old alone in another building to you. It’s amazing how differently some people must be wired! Be guided by the venue, at least. They wouldn’t be happy with it. I imagine the person you spoke to was aghast.

doodleschnoodle · 17/07/2025 12:25

It’s very concerning. Leaving an 8-month-old baby in a separate building in a strange place 5 minutes walk away so you can do what? Sit and stare at a monitor all evening? Or more likely get pissed and barely glance at it…

HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2025 12:29

2 words - Madeleine McCann. You may want to look this up.

Also, what if a sudden electrical fire started or something. A 2 minute jog once you realise what’s happening from the monitor and it will likely be too late by the time you get there.

I can’t even fathom how you could consider this. What is your parenting like in general otherwise!

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/07/2025 12:29

Jesus I often think I’m fairly lax by MN standards, but I wouldn’t even consider doing this.

ETA - I appreciate that a 2 min jog for your DH would be less if he was running full pelt because there was an issue. But the thing is, it’s not that you’re a minute’s sprint away from the baby, it’s that you’re a minute plus however long it takes you to notice an issue. Are you going to be chatting, eating, dancing at this wedding while also constantly looking at the monitor? If you’re in the same house, you don’t need to constantly look at them because you’d notice issues (hear the fire alarm etc, hear the baby monitor noise even if you’re not looking etc), but that doesn’t apply in this situation.

Sayshesheshe · 17/07/2025 12:30

Total madness.

3-5 minutes walk is a massive distance in this situation

TicklishSheep · 17/07/2025 12:30

Omg of course that’s not ok. Someone absolutely needs to stay with the baby.

junkmaail · 17/07/2025 12:31

Are you seriously considering leaving an 8 months old baby alone in a different building?

HiRen · 17/07/2025 12:32

When you’re with your sleeping 8mo baby, you’re not sitting there doing nothing. Do you understand that?

HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2025 12:33

I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream

I reckon that person is still standing there with their jaw on the floor. Bet you have a special note next to your name in the booking😳.

legolegoeverywhereandnotadroptodrink · 17/07/2025 12:33

put baby to sleep in their pram and leave them in the corner. I would. Did this a few times from 0 to about 18 months. At parties and holiday.

you may have to walk round a bit to get them to
drip off

ahh the good old days

Imisscoffee2021 · 17/07/2025 12:34

No way at all, not a chance. Hire a baby sitting service, there's plenty who offer this service for weddings, or take turns.

clary · 17/07/2025 12:35

So would you leave the baby asleep in the house while you went, phone in hand, to the local shop? No? Then of course this is also not OK.

One stays with the baby, or you bring the baby to the wedding and have her sleeping with you (eg in a pushchair) or even awake for a couple of hours longer. That’s fine imo and I have done similar.

I see everyone says the same.

JuneauBound · 17/07/2025 12:35

I've done something similar but in a small venue when the baby was asleep upstairs, and a babysitter was hired to watch the monitors and inform parents if a baby woke. I wouldn't do it in a different building.

Pushchair with a sling for when the baby wakes up is totally fine. At 8 months old they're portable. I've seen lots of people do this at weddings. If they're not settling/it gets late, then bring them back and take turns.

purplecorkheart · 17/07/2025 12:36

i can't believe that you would think that is an option for a second. Bonkers.

Zempy · 17/07/2025 12:37

Absolutely not. No.

Flossflower · 17/07/2025 12:37

Squishymallows · 17/07/2025 12:05

No you can’t do this. Put her in buggy or pram and leave her to sleep in a corner of the same room you are in. Or take turns staying in the hotel room

This only works if the baby has been invited.

Stormsabrewing · 17/07/2025 12:38

No, you can't do that. Try to get baby to sleep in a pram at the wedding. If you tell others your baby is back at the room, it is likely that someone will report this to the police or social services. If you don't and something happens to you noone is going for the baby. If there is a fire in either building you likely won't be allowed to go to your baby. Given that you've informed the reception that this is what you plan to do, they may well keep an eye on you and report you if necessary.

BoyMum170 · 17/07/2025 12:38

Can't believe this is even a question?! Of course not.

pontipinemum · 17/07/2025 12:40

You've had enough people tell you how bad of an idea this is.

Is it a family wedding? Can you ask some people to stay with her for an hour? I wouldn't mind taking an hour 'off' at a lot of weddings. I don't drink either so I wouldn't mind just going to sleep in your room at around 1am. Then moving when ye got in - assuming my own kids were not with me.

Or as others have said let her sleep in the buggy at the wedding. It will be fine. It's a wedding not a bar in Benidorm