FIL caught drink driving

[CrazyGoatLady]

FIL (73) drove home from the pub on Christmas Eve, got pulled over for speeding and was over the limit. Said he'd barely had anything to drink, but his brother said he had 6 pints over around 4hrs so he must have been well over. It was about a 5 mile drive home, but on a stretch of A road that often has patrols on it. Fool!

We've had rows over it before and I've said if he ever did it with DC in the car I'd shop him myself. Nobody else was with him on this occasion.

FIL now wants us to help him pay for a good solicitor as he is going to opt for court to try and avoid a ban, as GMIL is very elderly, losing it a bit, and FIL is very involved with her care, he drives over to her house most days. I do not want to give him a penny, as he's been drink driving for years and I hate his attitude, nanny state, they just want your money, I'm a careful driver, it's fine, blah blah. DH is angry with him, but wavering for GMIL's sake.

If DH wants to help I can't stop him, but I don't want him using our joint/family funds to help him weasel his way out, and I feel like he should have thought of his elderly mother before getting in the car after 6 pints. Am I being mean here?

No you are not being mean

He's not going to talk his way out of it. Don't waste your money. He's going to get banned and he deserves to.

This.

Absolutely he should be banned. It’s not a case of “nobody was with him” it’s who else on the road he could have killed. Utter fool, don’t give him a penny and don’t let your DH either.

Don't give him a penny, he shouldn't be driving, he can buy s bike instead.

What an idiot. If you really want to help, tell him you'll pay for the occasional taxi but he's done this to himself

No, you are absolutely not being mean. And drink driving is a mandatory minimum 12 month ban anyway, so it would be a waste of money trying to fight it. He sounds like an arrogant fool, I hope they throw the book at him

Nope. He could kill somebody and shouldn’t be on the road.

Drink driving is an automatic ban. It isn't like speeding where you can claim 'disproportionate hardship'.

Tell him to go to court and plead guilty. It's the cheapest option and showing contrition may result in a shorter ban - e.g. 12 months instead of 24 months.

Don’t pay. He’s had a lucky escape as it is by not actually killing someone. My next door neighbour’s kid killed a man who had two kids when he was driving drunk, left the scene of the accident and ended up with a 10 year prison sentence. The victim’s kids lost their dad forever.

Wouldn’t give him a penny , if he has money for 5 ( pints ) and drive he deserves everything he gets and will have to live with consequences of his actions

Consequences of actions…..do not help financially at all

No point in wasting money on a solicitor; it would better spent on a bicycle.

He’d be better off spending the money on cabs/Ubers - or saving it for his future insurance costs which will rocket after his ban.

Do you know how far over he was? If not very marginal (in which case a blood test at the station would have been done), he will get a ban.

He can't get out of it. The starting point is a ban. There are no mitigating circumstances which mean that he will not get a ban. And rightly so ! Look at the sentencing guidelines for drink driving . As dependent on how much over he was it will tell you the length of the ban. Doesn't matter if he has caring responsibilities he will still be banned . Don't waste your money.

I’d just sit back and let it unfold
I doubt very much he’ll be able to to get off without a ban
also going forward with his age and a conviction his insurance is going to be sky high
if your husband does want to give him money he might as well just set fire to it

Not a chance I’d be giving him a penny. I lost a family member due to a drunk driver so have even less sympathy (if that’s possible) the average person.
He deserves a ban, if he wants to throw how own money into a pointless defence, let him, but it would be a cold day in hell before I gave him a penny from mine.

Don’t waste your money , it is an automatic ban .
I despise people who drink and drive . Their selfishness and recklessness could cost someone their lives .
I don’t understand why people even do this.

He will be banned and that is a good thing. He could have killed someone on Christmas Eve. He should be feeling remorseful and wanting to hand his licence back not trying to get out of it.

I was the child of a drunk driver, I was the child seriously injured in an accident caused by said drunk driver. You have children? Don’t give him a penny, his disgusting choices have consequences.
Why on earth is your DH, who has children, wavering about anything in regard to this???

You've had rows over it before? So he regularly drives under the Influence but no-one thought to report him because your kids weren't in the car? So no thought for kids travelling in another car that he could have killed. .I don't care who they are, I'd report my own dad if he ever did that. Shame on you all for turning a blind eye to it previously.

It's an automatic ban, as it should be.

You should ask your DH to read the sentencing guidelines for it and advise his dad accordingly

He wasn't thinking about GMIL when he drank 6 pints and tried to drive home so that's not going to wash with a judge.

Absolutely no way would I support his actions, it would be a cold day in hell before he got a penny from me.

You are not being unreasonable. Drunk drivers kill people

Hah. A classic FAFO. Nor your problem and helping him would be money better spent on taxis for your MIL.