Cockroach Cafe - come and try our new sunroom

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Welcome, come and see our new sunroom/conservatory, open just in time for the colder weather, and opens straight off the Bad Daughter’s room.

Anyway, come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So cockroach mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

Wow, that must be a real weight off Carnation. Let's hope they come good with something suitable long term for them.

Sorry to hear of your loss, @freshcarnation, and so pleased about your sibling - a super shiny silver lining to your cloud!

Brilliant news @freshcarnation. Now rest.

Sorry gor your loss @freshcarnation bit good news about the place for your sibling.

@MrsRussell sorry you're still having to battle...it's just bloody awful that no-one seems to have any concept of the impact on family/carers.

I'm still writing about my experience with dad...his GP has refused to let me have a copy of his medical records so will need to follow that up.

@freshcarnation I'm so glad social services have come up trumps...take care of yourself now.

DD and I had a fairly big car accident today...she was driving (practice) and had just turned left when the front passenger side wheel axel snapped, we hit a tree and the car flipped onto it's (driver) side.

Loads of amazing people came to help and apart from shock and aches were fine.

Called to tell mum and once I said we were OK she was immediately more concerned about the parcels I was supposed to be dropping off for her .

@MrsRussell I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this.

@freshcarnation you must be so relieved to have this organised.

@MereDintofPandiculation, oh dear what a terrible shock for DD and you, I'm pleased you're not injured but how traumatic for you both. Your mum is something else, not that I'm surprised. The night before my major cancer surgery last year, my mum wanted to discuss which fridge freezer was best to buy .

@NewYearNewMinty that must have been terrifying! Are you and dd ok?

[quote thesandwich]@NewYearNewMinty that must have been terrifying! Are you and dd ok?[/quote]
It's hitting me a bit more now but I have a friend here atm.

We're absolutely fine physically although paramedics said we'll probably feel a bit sore for a few days.

@freshcarnation I am glad that social services came to the rescue, you've enough to be dealing with at the moment.

@NewYearNewMinty How is DD? As the driver she might feel responsible even when there is nothing she could have done in that situation. Sometimes stuff just happens randomly but she's still young enough to perhaps not have figured that out yet.

MIL may or may not be still in hospital after another fall (it's been three weeks since her last admission). She must have fantastic bones because in her many falls she's never had a fracture other than a toe. She's so aggressive that its impossible to work out whether she blacks out or trips. "Do you remember falling?" is the key question, if you are conscious on the way down then you didn't pass out and fall.

@MrsRussell Someone has to clean up but it doesn't have to be you. There are specialist cleaning agencies for biological hazards, I know this because I found the details of ones local to MIL after I'd cleaned poop on carpet through the living room, hall, stairs, landing and bathroom (OMG - the bathroom! ) and I said I was never doing it again. It's easier and cheaper to lean on family rather than pay for a professional. My usual question is what happens with people who have no family - there is a professional service for most things but they tend to not work for free.

@NewYearNewMinty How is DD? As the driver she might feel responsible even when there is nothing she could have done in that situation.

I think she's beginning to wrap her head around that although she was distraught and absolutely blaming herself to begin with.

XH not helping by telling her not to say anything to her friends about what happened...WTAF?

The police who attended said as far as they were concerned it was an RTA due to a vehicle defect - absolutely nothing anyone could have done. She'd over steered slightly as we turned the corner but couldn't right the car. I tried as well and in the split second I managed to make contact with the steering wheel there was no response.

I hadn't wanted to take her to practice as I was a bit under the weather (hormonal) yesterday so she was upset about that too, but tbh she could well have saved my life. I went to drop her off at her dad's early and he'd gone out. She didn't want to go in and hang out with his partner so wheeled me into taking her for a quick practice.

If I'd been driving home when it happened I'd have been on much busier roads.

She slept in with me last night, but she's gone off to college this morning on the bus and is planning to carry on as usual today.

@freshcarnation how are you doing this morning?

Mum has already messaged me about her bloody parcels this morning (there was some concern for us too tbf)!!!

Getting close to the magic number! New thread here

Not too bad thanks Minty. I'm feeling a huge relief about mum passing. Like most of us, I had years and years of looking after her, worrying about her, doing the life admin etc and then the dementia years. So hugely relieved that I'm going to start to get my own life back now. Had the call to register her death and the doctor had recorded the cause of death as 'Old Age'. Which was lovely.

The other part of the caring jigsaw is my brother who we are still trying to sort care for. He has emergency care for two days, but now social services are trying to find a permanent home for him. We were worried that they would try to keep him in the house with carers but it looks like that won't be the case. He was alone for half an hour at mum's house this morning and in that time opened all the doors and disappeared off to a neighbour's house leaving the front door wide open, for a cup of coffee.

Going to sort the funeral this afternoon.