The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

[yolofish]

Morning all! regulars or newbies, coping with your oldies is a frustrating, exhausting and difficult business however much we love them. The Cockroach Cafe is open to all, a place to vent, rant, ask questions, get advice, and hopefully laugh too.

For newbies: why cockroach? My DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. My ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So cockroach mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

In truth, though, the whole situation is so awful I just want to curl up in my cocoon.

on the worktop, clearly not abiding by sanitation rules! what your cat is allowed to do in public, and what behaviour is tolerated in private, are often two very different things.

autumn You OK? Being angry is not a nice place to be. You and yolo are both important people to me, please don't either of you disappear.

nota I'm so sorry to hear that, would some Teflon help even a little? xx

I'm in definite need of Teflon Yolo, so thanks for the offer. Staying off the booze at the moment as I don't think I'm strong enough for it, back on the caffeine with a vengeance though, having giving it up last year.

I've been trying to get some gardening done every day, which helps with my own MH. Even if some of what I do is ill advised (I need to put the secateurs down a bit more often I think).

Cockroach all.

Bank holiday + global pandemic = emergency hospital appointment 😔.
FIL phoned this morning, sudden loss of sight in one eye yesterday evening, can see but blurry this morning. So he phoned DH to ask which opticians are open. Got him to phone his optician as DH has no idea which opticians are in FIL town let alone what the arrangements are. He had an emergency appointment and has a hospital appointment Tuesday afternoon. Which gives us 2 problems - getting him there in case he can't drive back and getting a carer to sit with MIL. I can drive him there but DH is vulnerable so it feels risky, he us convinced the usual care agency will be able to cover I'm worried they won't have enough staff.

You've got the hat trick Country. Can DH stay with his mum, even if in another room?

If the carers can't cover we can probably cobble something together with DS1, if he does a video call to his girlfriend MIL will love it. MIL is completely dependent so staying in another room would be very tricky and she would get very distressed. Naturally, they live in an area with a relatively high incidence of CV so with carer daily visits it's a humdinger.

Good luck sorting out your challenges, country hope fil is ok.
dint I completely get what you say about wanting to cocoon and escape the world. It’s a very scary place out there.
Here trying to jolly dm along minus her regular visitors of hairdressers, gardeners etc, plus “support” dd uni work🤔
Hope everyone else is doing as well as possible.
cockroach all!!

eek countrygirl. And of course bank hol w/e makes it much harder to contact anyone re care. DS1 and the video call to GF sounds like it might be the best option, esp if you can leave DH out of it all?

Liberal sprinklings of Teflon, and cockroach to all.

Re: his eye, I had exactly the same a few years ago. I would explain it as looking through an eyefull of Vaseline. My emergency hospital appointment showed a T.IA (mini stroke).

VictoriaBun exactly the same with my dad about 15 years ago.
FIL was worrying over whether he should go to hospital, that it was too risky. DH pointed out that if the optician could sort out an appointment in less than 2 hours on bank holiday weekend, even without the current difficulties, it's important. He has arranged for someone from the care agency to drive him but they can't confirm if they have someone to stay with MIL until Tuesday. Tbh it would be better if cover was confirmed and we did the driving as we aren't trained in the equipment to get her on the loo etc but it is was it is.

countrygirl so they cant tell you the plan until tomorrow? I mean, its understandable given bank hol w/e but cant remember (sorry) if its a private firm or council? Even so, they should have some sort of emergency hotline.

country hope you get things sorted.
How is everyone doing? Haven’t seen hairbrush for a while? How are you nota?
All calmish here which is good....

No, we won't know the plan until tomorrow. Luckily I have an understanding boss. I can appreciate their problem committing at the moment as I work for a bank and have to keep the website updated with which branches are open and you really don't know until the morning as staff availability changes so quickly at the moment.

fingers xd for you for tomorrow countrygirl that something works out for you all - stressful.

hope everyone else is doing ok, this is such a weird time. We were saying today, it must be a bit like the phoney war felt, everything almost normal but not quite. cockroach

How did it go countrygirl? I hope smoothly and FIL got some answers.

Not good news I'm afraid. FIL is permanently blind in one eye. Saturday he told us the sight had come back but blurry, this morning he told us he still couldn't see with that eye. Apparently an artery ruptured. He is very down.

That sounds tough Countygirl. Poor thing to have to come to terms with that, on top of everything else that is going on.

DH is finding it tough not going over but FIL is scared of anyone getting sick. He can be an awkward bugger but I really feel for him tonight

oh I'm so sorry to hear that. Awkward bugger or not, that is hard. And of course will probs make him more awkward for you

So sorry country that must be tough in normal times but so hard now. 🌺🌺

Did you say he usually drives, Country? That will be a blow. Though slightly softened by being unable to go anywhere anyway, right now!

picklemewanuts you don't even need to inform DVLA if you lose sight in one eye as long as you can pass the statutory tests. Whether he should be driving anyway is another subject but his licence has recently been renewed. At least the current situation will give his brain time to adapt.
MIL isn't coping well with not having visitors or little trips out, they are the things that bring her pleasure and give her something to live for. Some days she is refusing to get up so he is having a rough time of it all round.

Hello all. How are you all doing? Calm here although dm getting cabin fever and missing her cleaner/ hairdresser etc.....
Scary headlines about over 70s being locked down until a vaccine..😮😮.hope they are fake news.

Awful to read the stories about the spread of the virus in care homes. My SIL works in one and said that the staff ran out of PPE last week, but she is carrying on going in to work because the people wouldn't have anyone to look after them otherwise.

It’s shocking, nota . 🌺🌺for your sil.
What’s happening in care homes is shocking.