Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Elderly parents
Original poster

The new shiny 2019 thread for anyone caring for elderly parents

986 replies

thesandwich · 31/12/2018 19:37

Continuing the long running series of threads. Pace yourself, it's a marathon not a sprint!
This is a safe place to offload- don't be embarrassed about how you feel. No judgement here
There are lovely people here with practical experience of some of the issues which crop up who'll share their hard won knowledge!
And a few laughs and the odd cockroach or gin....

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 03/01/2019 23:26

I am so sorry foxy

notaflyingmonkey · 04/01/2019 07:12

We are here for you foxy with hands to hold, and virtual hugs. You know this is a safe space to say whatever it is that you want to.

yolofish · 04/01/2019 09:06

ah foxy it's so hard. But in one way, at least you can be there and say everything you want to say, tell her little memories from your childhood and so on. much strength to you.

Onedayatatimethistime · 04/01/2019 11:07

foxy it's all a bit streaming pile of excrement isn't it? We've gone from planning for dm to come home this week to who knows what. Pneumonia has floored her and all we can do is take whatever each day comes and add it into the mix. Hope for the best but prepare yourself - last bit easier said than done I know. We are keeping busy in the hope that discharge remains an option and I'm doing emotional triage dealing with bits at a time. My thoughts are with you x

foxyknoxy30 · 04/01/2019 12:18

Thank you mum passed away peacefully no more suffering thank you to everyone's kind words just need to break it to my dad in the care home ,hugs to all

Grace212 · 04/01/2019 12:29

Foxy, I'm so sorry Flowers

Onedayatatimethistime · 04/01/2019 12:31

Flowers Take care foxy

MrsBertBibby · 04/01/2019 12:50

Oh foxy I feel for you. Hope you and your dad bring comfort to each other.

Original poster
thesandwich · 04/01/2019 12:54

Oh foxy I am so sorry. 🌺🌺🌺

OP posts:
MoreCheerfulMonica · 04/01/2019 13:53

I’m so sorry, foxy.

Cockroach, one and all!

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/01/2019 14:22

Foxy i am so sorry for your loss.

Onedayatatimethistime · 04/01/2019 15:24

Just had to walk out of the hospital as dm's db has just told her that the dog died - while she's already distressed and struggling to breathe. Seriously how could he be so stupid and thoughtless? I'd made it clear to him that dm was not to know. Can't even look at the man right now. Sorry, needed to vent.

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/01/2019 15:51

So sorry foxy

yolofish · 04/01/2019 17:30

so sorry foxy, but so pleased it was peaceful - and as you say, no more suffering. I found this thought was a massive comfort to me.

MrsBertBibby · 04/01/2019 17:31

What a berk he is, OneDay.

Fortysix · 04/01/2019 17:41

Flowers foxy
Flowers Oneday

notaflyingmonkey · 04/01/2019 18:24

Foxy and Oneday sending you both virtual hugs x

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/01/2019 19:52

Oneday everything crossed for your mum.

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/01/2019 21:02

I'm sorry to merail during these sad times but has anyone got any advice re the following please?

Dad was on 5mg bisoporil before going into hospital in October. His cardio consultant wrote a letter to his gp upon discharge saying it should be increased from 1.25 mg pd to 2.5 mg pd - but that seems to be a mistake cos 2.5 mg is a decrease from 5mg.

The pharmacy queried this mid week and the GP has been trying to confirm with cardio if the letter is a mistake. Weds, Thursday, Friday the gp has been trying to contact cardio. Just no contact, how can I get an answer if they simply don't answer the number or email given on the letter?

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/01/2019 21:04

Shall i just rock up at the ward Dad was on? Who also don't answer the bloody phone.

Grace212 · 04/01/2019 22:28

thigh what a mare!

if it's nearby then I would try going in, yes. If it's a cardiologist you're trying to track down then it's possible you won't get an answer till Monday. That's awful. I can understand a mistake, we had this when mum came out of hospital, but the GP managed to get in touch with the hospital within half a day or so. Three days is really poor. Hope you get it sorted asap.

Onedayatatimethistime · 04/01/2019 22:29

Could you contact pals at the hospital he was in thigh? I've not used them myself but they are meant to deal with concerns over care and should be able to help you with this. Failing that I would go back to the ward and refuse to leave until you see the consultant. Good luck hope it gets sorted soon, what's your dad taking at the moment?

yolofish · 04/01/2019 22:34

I think thigh I would try and call OOH tomorrow to get a review/new scrip. You wont get a cardiologist over the w/e, and I doubt you want to take him anywhere. I think the ward, having discharged him, will be equally useless.

DB and I are trying to work out how to share out/get rid of big bits from mum's house. pretty much in agreement, except for one thing which I had lost sight of and that he wants - discovered it hidden behind 'my' chair in living room, so hiding in full view as it were. most of the furniture has 'homes' as he has 4 adult children; mine not in position to need furniture yet, and in our mid-late 50s DH and I have more than we need.

yolofish · 04/01/2019 22:37

oneday pals are only office hours, and in our area only react within 48 hours... and then that's an email acknowledgement only. its only when you get close up as it were that you realise the problems and the difficulties of making sure care is as it should be. Elderly care should be so much higher up the agenda, it shouldnt be so difficult for those of us who care for them.

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/01/2019 22:50

Thank you all, i will do ooh tomorrow and i think go and physically find the cardio on Monday. Bloody ridiculous, there's so much confusion in elder care, it's awful. Maybe it's like this in other medical areas that require multiple and possibly competing drugs, i don't know. There's no joined up thinking. This is why so many of us are downing in phone calls.