Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

[CMOTDibbler]

It doesn't matter whether you are a hands on carer, care from a distance, or are just contemplating the future. Join us for support from people who know the struggles of becoming your parents carer - we rant, cry, and pick each other up.

I'm glad you've had a rest unmanned, and that your daughters are being supportive!

I'm a bit low. DM's care for DF fell short this week, and she's had to face up to the situation a bit more which means she's very upset and tearful.

On the bright side, we booked a holiday ages ago and I was worried we might have to cancel. Because of the dates I didn't think we were covered but it turns out that you can cancel within the insurance period and be covered, even if the holiday is outside the insurance period. That means we have until July to decide if we need to cancel, which is a big relief. Well, one son isn't covered, but that's a manageable hit should we need to take it.

Pickle, I hope you can find a way to take your holiday. I don't know what age your DC are, but shared family memories are so important. (DS was 21 yesterday, so I am feeling very empty nest.)

Really worried and dont know what to do. In a nutshell Dad 85 lives on own has carers in morning and evening for abit to help...with breakfast, making bed, emptying bottles etc. So care fairly low level but now he's broke his ankle after a fall. A fracture so in a big boot rather than plastered. He walks with a frame as legs are very weak and has lung problems. So gone from being fairly mobile to not.

Currently Brother has booked 2 weeks off work to help him as he cant walk on his own so using wheelchair but brother has to go back to work after next week. Boot has to be on for another 5 weeks. Today Dad has walked a little on the boot so building his confidence up/

Called OT today they said to call Adult care, spoke to the assessment team who said they cant put in anymore care as really need to get him mobile. Just spoke to to the physio/rehab team who say not much they can do until the fracture is healed but is coming out tomorrow to see him.

Anyone got any suggestions? Could he perhaps go somewhere for a couple of weeks at least to help get him on his feet? Who would deal with this???

Sounds like he is on the radar of services- could you speak to social services and request respite care for a few weeks? I would imagine you may have to pay for it.
It could be a good investment to get dome support while he is less mobile.
Unmanned hope things are calm. Pickle, how are you doing?
Badders how are you?
DM today has heard of a 100 year old mum of her physio who has a toy boy who I suppose could be any age up to 99 so she now thinks this would be a good idea...... any suggestions???

Hello!
I'm ok thank you.
More pharmacy cock ups I've had to sort out today
Mums cardoiology appt is next Friday
She is very lonely. That's the major issue really.
I go every day. Sometimes twice. I take her out, take her shopping, she comes for Sunday lunch at least once a month...I really can't do more 😞 I'm very aware if I'm ill she sees no one 😡😞
And we are both worried about my sister who now has high blood pressure 😞 her Dh is the problem but that's another thread!!
We have convinced her to go back the dr tomorrow.
Hope everyone else is ok x

Dad's picked up a little, so mum's a bit brighter.
Sorry about your mum Badders. Loneliness is such a curse.

Hi pickles glad your dad's picked up a bit badders it's awful when you do all you can and you still feel it's not enough 😞

Mum now on a driver and getting confused - don't think it'll be long now. District nurse has been awesome bless her.

Strength and to all riding this rough journey

unmanned

Unmanned 💐

Pickle..it is indeed
My health is deteriorating and I'm getting hemi plegic migraines now...so lai haven't seen mum for 2 days
Feel very guilty despite the pain
😞

Oh Badders I am sorry. Put yourself first for once.

Oh Badders I know it's easy to say but don't feel guilty - you need to look after yourself first or you'll be unable to help your mum for even longer

Oh dear, Badders, hope you get well soon, though I know it won't be easy while you are stretched so thin.

unmanned, I typed and deleted a comment a day or so ago, as I couldn't phrase it sensitively... It's difficult in some ways when these things are drawn out, but obviously we don't want them any shorter either.

My DPs are a bit better at the moment, but with that comes mum pushing me away again and refusing to access help. Sigh.

pickle I know exactly what you mean.

Well we all seem to have noro today so I won't be going anywhere for 48 hours at least....
😞😞😞😀

No idea what there is a smiley face there!!!

Was that the problem with your son in the night? It never rains but it pours.
I'd send you a bucket if I had one!

Yep!
Fil has it too
It's only a matter of time before ds2 and I succumb....😞

Ds2 has indeed succumbed 😞😞

Oh Badders!! I am so sorry.

Hi all - wonder if anyone has experience of buying orthapedic beds as MIL (87) is now sleeping very badly due to back problems. Shes never been great at spending money on things but i think swapping her ordinary bed for one of these could make a big difference. They are very expensive so hoping someone has been here before and can give some advice. Thanks.

We have found occupational therapists v helpful- the doc referred mum to give advice as to what might help( she still paid) it might help persuade your DM to spend too😄
Hope you are all doing ok.
Badders how are you feeling?x

Sandwich - thank you for the suggestion of occupational therapist. Will give that a go.

This fell off my Active Threads so just remarking my spot. MIL is slowly improving but I'm awaiting the inevitable fall out when she gets behind the wheel again. I can already predict when it will be - DC2 is due in just under 3 weeks time so her "excuse" will be that she has to come and see the baby.