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Original poster

Help - Need to send daughter to boarding school

228 replies

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 15:10

I'm looking for any advice you wise lot may have about sending my daughter to boarding school. Fees are not an issue. It has become very clear that the state system is not working for her or us as a family and we need to move her as soon as possible.

I've trawled through the various websites and have noted the various open days, etc. As she is 14 and currently out of school is it possible for her to enter before the next full admissions year or not? Incidentally we also have a son who is doing very well at the local state school in Scotland and have no intention of moving him so it's not a question of her current school/s being not good enough, just not working for her.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
mranchovy · 21/03/2010 10:48

Speak to Gabbitas and Thring. They will know which schools are (a) willing to give your daughter a try and (b) desparate for pupils in the current economic climate.

Have you thought about schools in England? Further away = harder to get back to 'BF' (but possible nightmare of trying to hitch-hike). Would the change of exam systems be a problem, or is this now of no relative importance? I can think of a couple you might try but probably best not to mention in open forum (CAT or search MN for my email address).

mranchovy · 21/03/2010 11:03

Sorry, hadn't read everything and I missed you already said it had to be Scotland - no knowledge of schools there other than Gordonstoun which I suspect may not rise to this challenge.

One thing I should have mentioned though is that if you do call Gordounstoun, or any other school, they may be able to recommend somewhere themselves - most top flight schools have to move pupils on for various reasons from time to time, and they know which schools are used to accepting wayward pupils mid-year.

Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 21/03/2010 13:42

Thanks all, about to have family meeting to discuss our plan of action for tomorrow (in laws, my parents, one great aunt and us). Will post an update tomorrow once the phone around is over and SS have been in touch.

OP posts:
BarkisIsWilling · 21/03/2010 14:03

Your daughter sounds like a very nice young woman who doesn't like disappointing others. I wish her the best.

scaryteacher · 21/03/2010 18:46

It isn't Scotland, but is in the middle of nowhere - Royal Hospital School, Holbrook, Suffolk. Quite isolated and lots of sports and very bracing weather. Good music. Used to be the Naval boarding school. I know lots who went there, enjoyed it, and have turned out OK with a variety of careers from investment banker to pilot to Naval Officer. Db went there, and enjoyed it.

maryz · 21/03/2010 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

duchesse · 21/03/2010 20:51

maryz- I met a couple of the peripatetic teachers there while we were living in Montreal in 2003-4 and it was profiled on the local news once. The Canadians who taught there thought it was breathtakingly expensive- it was about £22000/year at the time- very comparable to public school (probably still is in line with public sch fees) in the UK but about 2x a good Canadian school. I know that it is very small and is in the middle of the forest a long way from anywhere. It specialises in retrieving children who've lost their way a little in the UK- there is literally nothing to do there I understand except study and sports. I don't know that much more about it I'm afraid.

maryz · 21/03/2010 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

duchesse · 22/03/2010 11:30

MAryz- It's pretty elusive, but I've managed to track down some more info on it: here and here. hth

maryz · 22/03/2010 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

violetqueen · 23/03/2010 11:07

Thinking of you KatieS ,wondering how it's going .
Hopefully you're busy visiting a potential school.
Or boyfriend in court .

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 23/03/2010 19:25

Hope everything's going well x

uggmum · 23/03/2010 19:45

Hi, This school has great reviews,
www.queenethelburgas.edu
Might be a bit far away though, but its straight down the A1.

Turniphead1 · 23/03/2010 20:15

wishing you lots of luck in getting a good school for your DD. And to think we parents of small children think there are tough challenges...

DinahRod · 23/03/2010 20:41

If she's a weekly border, what's to stop her slipping out to meet with Sleaze at the weekend? He sounds like an addiction that needs complete cold-turkey. Might also make her integration easier if she is a termly.

partytime · 23/03/2010 20:45

uggmum - i personally know of queen ethelburghas, would not recommend it at all.
sorry

thisisyesterday · 02/04/2010 21:06

hey katiescarlett, any update? how are you and dd? did you find a school?

southernsoftie · 06/04/2010 15:45

Agree with partytime - avoid Queen Ethelburgas.

What about Glenalmond if it has to be Scotland?

Or Barnard Castle if you are looking for the middle of nowhere and can stretch to North of England?

jcscot · 07/04/2010 01:05

Re Queen Ethelburga's - a good friend sends both his daughters there and they love it. Very impressive, apparently.

jeansnolongerfit · 08/04/2010 14:47

I read this post with real interest and really felt for the family. hope all is ok?
no news, good news?

TheButterflyEffect · 08/04/2010 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BoffinMum · 09/04/2010 21:03

Some boarding schools are full of kids like this, and the ones that aren't probably won't take her.

I think boarding would make the problem a lot worse, anyway. They have more time to themselves than you would realise, and a lot more scope for mischief than at home, where parents are on their case all the time.

I'd put my efforts into getting the bastard arrested and put away. Meanwhile I'd probaby change my working patterns so I could cosset her through this as much as possible. Nothing brings the prodigal child back quicker than a bit of non-judgmental hanging out on a continuing basis.

morejuiceplease · 09/04/2010 21:12

I haven't read entire thread so don't know if it's already been mentioned but have you looked into getting an abduction order against this man? That way if she absconds and is found with him then he can be arrested, I would imagine he'll get pissed of with constant arrests after a while. We had a similar situation but with my 15 yo bil associating with a drug dealer who was getting getting my bil to shoplift for him and supplying him with drugs and alcohol. Bil went back to his mum so didn't end up getting abduction order in the end.

Do you gave a police contact? Ask them to look into it as many police officers are unaware of them (my dh is a police officer but had never heard of them till YOT told him about them)

BoffinMum · 11/04/2010 21:30

I think it's actually illegal for someone to accommodate an under-18 overnight without the consent of their parents. It might be worth enquiring about that too (or it might come under the umbrella of the abduction order).

stressedok · 11/04/2010 21:45

sorry to tell you but lots of boarding schools do not supervise the kids enough. As an ex boarder, drugs are easier to get at, due to kids with excess time and money around you. She would just find a new dealer on her "days out ". It would simply move the problem to another location.
Seriously have you thought of sending her to one of the American brat camps, There are a few online with give the child back her childhood and independance built on rewards and appreciation of the basics in life. It might be worth looking at? just an idea.