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Original poster

Help - Need to send daughter to boarding school

228 replies

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 15:10

I'm looking for any advice you wise lot may have about sending my daughter to boarding school. Fees are not an issue. It has become very clear that the state system is not working for her or us as a family and we need to move her as soon as possible.

I've trawled through the various websites and have noted the various open days, etc. As she is 14 and currently out of school is it possible for her to enter before the next full admissions year or not? Incidentally we also have a son who is doing very well at the local state school in Scotland and have no intention of moving him so it's not a question of her current school/s being not good enough, just not working for her.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Beetroot · 20/03/2010 18:21

Why?

Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 18:22

Standard Grade curriculum and ease of bringing her home for weekends.

OP posts:
orienteerer · 20/03/2010 18:22

school Gordonstoun?

orienteerer · 20/03/2010 18:23

Sorry here

Beetroot · 20/03/2010 18:24

boarding is boarding and if you want her away then send her away. if she is home at weekendds then she is easy getatable. Bristol Glasgow/Edin is very near

Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 18:26

Can supervise at weekends, plus couldn't bear not seeing her for weeks at a time. I don't want her away, I need to get her away IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Beetroot · 20/03/2010 18:28

ys yes totally understand about needing her away.

I would look at Millfield though, Most schools will have exeats so you will not be able to see her every weekend unless she is a weekly boarder which I think falls between two tings and rarely works

orienteerer · 20/03/2010 18:30

Glenalmond?

Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 18:30

Why does weekly boarding not work? I was hoping that this would be the best option for us all.Not that I have a clue.

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 18:32

Thanks orienteer, have list ready for phone calls to schools on Monday.

OP posts:
Beetroot · 20/03/2010 18:33

The kids are stuck between two worlds. Often there is Saturday school for starters and then sport fixtures on Saturdays. All their mates are at school so they find the transition hard - leaving their mates and coming home - the socal side of things becomes a bit fraught.

Missus84 · 20/03/2010 18:33

What an awful situation!

If she's a sociable girl then she'll probably love boarding school - especially if you find one in the middle of nowhere with nowhere for her to go. I agree this man will probably tire of her if she's difficult to reach.

wigglybeezer · 20/03/2010 18:35

I live two doors down from the girls boarding house in Dollar, hate to disillussion you but many buses leave every day taking the day pupils (in a majority) all over central scotland), and public transport is not great but is used by the boarders to go into Stirling at the weekend etc. (direct bus every two hours).

Dollar is VERY popular and i doubt it would be keen to take girl's with discipline problems.

You would be better with Glenalmond (used to work there), the only transport is the school's own coach and children are counted on and off (five miles walk to nearest bus-stop).

littleducks · 20/03/2010 18:36

Sounds like a nightmare

Now i know this is a bit radical but how about an american 'brat camp' type place?

Or could you go travelling, i realise that her education is important but could you take her abroad on a backpacking type holiday to gain some life experience for a few months?

There are always ways to get GCSES/A LEVELS a year later without it being too much trouble but to get her life back if she becomes estranged/pregnant/addicted to drugs, is far less easy.

Really hope for all the best, hope this guy gets what he deserves

LynetteScavo · 20/03/2010 18:39

Some posters have sugested boarding school may backfire, and that she of course is not a prisoner at a boarding school, but it does seem like your only hope.

At the boarding shcool I went to 14 year olds had to "check in" every half hour or so during thier free time, so the staff knew they were OK. GEtting up to anything at all exciting just wasn't at all possible untill 6th form.

I'm sure you'll be able to get her in somwhere straight after Easter. Do take her with you when visiting schools so she can help decide which one suits best.

Oh, and check they don't have a bus stop right outside...two girls from my school ran away on the bus when they were 13, and got as far as the local bus station.

dittany · 20/03/2010 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 20/03/2010 18:42

I went to boarding school to get out of a terrible home life

I am always on boarding school threads telling people what a bad idea it is - and it is, IMO, for most children and most families

but your situation is one of the 0.1% of scenarios in which even I would consider it

so sorry you are going through this, it must be terrifying for you

sandysmum · 20/03/2010 18:48

hi katie
so sorry to hear of you horrendous situation - i hope it resolves for you soon. would definitely recommend orienteer's suggestion. have relatives who went there recently - very remote and well supervised. school seems to have a good, protective community.
wish you all the best

CarGirl · 20/03/2010 18:54

I know you want her to stay in Scotland but it may be worth looking at Christs' hospital as they take children from all walks of life as long as she is academically able she should be okay - look at their website and if you're interested ring them and ask them about a place as they may have a place although it's not usual for them to start during year 9 as they start their options for GCSEs at the beginning of year 9. HTH

orienteerer · 20/03/2010 18:59

Probably already on your list Strathallan

EVye · 20/03/2010 19:02

This is just an awful situation. I do hope that you get some good responses from the schools.

violetqueen · 20/03/2010 19:10

Another vote for Christs Hospital - I know not in scotland ,but they do scholarships .
So maybe use money saved on air fare ?
You may have to compromise re seeing her at weekends - agree with other posters that this can make them fall between two camps .
So sorry for you and your family - you sound so caring and sensible ,it has to come right for you.

CarGirl · 20/03/2010 19:12

AT Christs Hospital and presumably many other full time boarding schools they come home every 2nd or 3rd weekend, Friday afternoon to Sunday and have longer holidays too so don't panick if you can't get her into one more local.

MadameCastafiore · 20/03/2010 19:16

Katie have been having a think and I would, if she is still absconding and you are really serious about the fact that he ,may be abusing her, speak to social services about trying to contact Tier 4 CAMHS and have her sectioned for her safety, her agreement to go to a known paedophiles house and conduct a relationship with him may be enough to bring into question her mental health, whilst you put everything into finding a school as far away as possible from this man and then you make sure she has no money and her buddy at the school as I presume she will be assigned one knows some of the story and sticks to her like glue. It sounds pretty strong but being on Section is not bad and it can take a while to get everything in place to appeal and have it rescinded so that could buy you a fortnight where you know she would be safe.

You then have to make the school aware and as soon as she absconds or can't be found you ring the police - you do it again and again and again until they are so fed up with you that they try and do something.

PipinJo · 20/03/2010 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.