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Original poster

Help - Need to send daughter to boarding school

228 replies

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 15:10

I'm looking for any advice you wise lot may have about sending my daughter to boarding school. Fees are not an issue. It has become very clear that the state system is not working for her or us as a family and we need to move her as soon as possible.

I've trawled through the various websites and have noted the various open days, etc. As she is 14 and currently out of school is it possible for her to enter before the next full admissions year or not? Incidentally we also have a son who is doing very well at the local state school in Scotland and have no intention of moving him so it's not a question of her current school/s being not good enough, just not working for her.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 21:01

Yes, have looked at Gordonstoun, it's on the list. Will be working the phones like mad on Monday.

OP posts:
Waswondering · 20/03/2010 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 21:03

She loves sailing, ski-ing, tennis, gymnastics, hockey and all of the schools seem to offer most of the above. She was jokingly asking if Hogwarts have any vacancies since she's been such a little witch lately

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieScarlett2833 · 20/03/2010 21:04

St Andrews is a bit close to home with a direct bus service.

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 20/03/2010 21:10

DB went to a school that had day boys, weekly and full boarders. he was a day boy - I don;t remember him feeling left out or anything.

She is 14, she is keen on the idea, generally i am not a "pro board" type person but in this case i think weekly or full should work out fine.

What are the other options?

AgentProvocateur · 20/03/2010 21:11

KatieScarlett, my heart goes out to you. I was a hair's breadth from getting into the same situation as your daughter, and I know that my mum was at the end of her tether.

I'm in Scotland too, and one of my friends went to Gordonstoun and flourished there. As other posters have said, it is in the arse-end of nowhere, so great for your purposes.

Have a look at Lomond in Helensburgh, too, although it's easily accessible by public transport.

The other option is another state school (or private), but much further away - eg, in Glasgow or Edinburgh (depending on where you are, obviously.

I wish you and your daughter all the best, whatever you decide.

McBitchy · 20/03/2010 21:16

some teens want to board thisisyesterday - i would never say 'mean parents' about parents whose teen chooses to go to boarding school

op - i really feel for you.... have you thought of state boarding schools - some are great

Adair · 20/03/2010 21:18

Gosh KatieScarlett, I think it will be great for her. Fingers crossed for you on Monday. You sound like you have such a great bond, and are so sensitive to her needs, that boarding will not be a problem at all.

And feel sure you will come through this to the other side sooner rather than later. Good luck.

Buda · 20/03/2010 21:26

She sounds like she is totally out of her depth KatieScarlett. I think boarding school could be a great solution. Esp as she seems keen. Just keep the lines of communication open and keep reiterating and reiterating and reiterating that you still love her and want her home as much as possible.

orienteerer · 20/03/2010 21:31

Seems like she needs (and wants) you to come up with a solution which takes her away from all her previous problems. My prediction is you will find a school on Monday .

want2sleep · 20/03/2010 21:36

removing her is I think the best solution with a bit old fashioned disipline rules and not able to run off esp if middle of nowhere sounds a fab idea........sounds like she really needs it too and in agreement is even better as she is not going kicking screaming etc....good luck on Monday.

weegiemum · 20/03/2010 21:38

I'd think twice about Kilgraston - very easy to walk into Perth from there and get a bus anywhere!

zapostrophe · 20/03/2010 21:41

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orienteerer · 20/03/2010 21:45

katieS - do let us know how it goes on Monday?

Waswondering · 20/03/2010 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 20/03/2010 22:18

Katie, just a note of support from me.

I was in a similar situation, although a little older than your dd, and my life was almost ruined by it. I didn't take my a levels or go to university, I used drugs and drank to horrifying excess because I became so consumed by a relationship with an older man with his own drug problems and dubious moral compass.

My mother tolerated the relationship when she should have taken a much stronger stance. I am astounded that anyone would suggest you should welcome him into your home in the hope that it will 'run it's course'.

I think you are absolutely justified in your decision and I wish you and your family the very best of luck.

Beetroot · 20/03/2010 22:26

If she is sporety you should really look at Millfield - it offers every sport to a vry high standard

ecveryone has to do at least 3 sports sessions a week (on top of normal games)

maryz · 20/03/2010 22:53

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lazymumofteenagesons · 20/03/2010 23:06

I think boarding is your only option. Why don't you send her abroad where he definitely can't get her. Le Rosey is an international boarding school in switzerland.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 21/03/2010 01:19

le rosey is about £60,000 a year!

duchesse · 21/03/2010 01:30

There are various state boarding schools around the country if they can be of use. They generally get excellent results.

duchesse · 21/03/2010 01:49

You might be interested in this school in Quebec. It is an outward-bound school for sixth-form aged tearaways from the English public school system. They are kept VERY physically active and I don't think they have time to get up to any mischief. I know she's a bit young still for 6th form but they may have some sister schools- it would be worth contacting them imo. It's a long way away from Britain but that may very well be an advantage. Furthermore the geographical isolation means that running away is not an option.

I feel for you. There but for the grace of god could any of us be. I hope you manage to find a solution to this soon.

Bumperlicious · 21/03/2010 07:50

What an awful situation. I think you are doing the right thing, especially as your DD is compliant. Poor thing, it is very hard to be in control of your emotions at 14.

ImSoNotTelling · 21/03/2010 09:41

Let us know how you get on on Monday, I have my fingers crossed for you.

It is just so lucky that you have the financial resources to do this, to throw money at the problem as it were, and hopefully it will go away (I'm sure it will).

If you didn't have this cash you'd be stuffed really, I just can't believe that this man, a registered sex offender, is consorting with children, and there is nothing anyone can do. It beggars belief.

anastaisia · 21/03/2010 10:14

Please just take this as throwing in a suggestion and ignore it if it isn't suitable or something you'd consider.

Have you thought about home education if you can't find a boarding school? Even if it was only a temporary solution for a set period of time while you work on breaking the hold this guy has over her or finding a school you both like.

Like I said, feel free to ignore me - I know its not what you were asking about. Good luck finding somewhere.