Private educaiton - is everyone really rich that sends their kids?

[Clare123]

We are fairly wealthy, but I still think education 2 kids privately is so much money! I was wondering how most families do it?!

Surely most families don't do it? Our household income puts us in something like the top 5% in the country, and there is no way that I can see we could afford to privately educate one, let alone 2 kids. I had assumed it was for the super-rich only. But perhaps we are prioritising other things...

I assume Clare123 means "how do most people who use private school do it"???

DD goes to private school. Firstly we are not down south so the fees are much less here than down there. We also only have one child to pay for. We could afford two sets, but more than that would be really pushing it to say the least. DH does earn a very good salary, but we aren't rich. We are well off but rich - no.

Most of the parents at DD's school are pretty normal people, in professional jobs. Where there are more than two children it is normally (for our school) that both parents are in well apid professional jobs. Some pay most of what they have into education - and priorite it and sacrifice other stuff such as holidays, bigger houses, new cars, etc.

But no, you don't have to be rich to use private school.

Hulababy - I was just looking at a London private senior school and was shocked to find the fees were over £5k per term. Is that a lot more than where you are? We would both need to be working to afford £16k per year for just one child, but perhaps we are not that well paid (I thought we were!).

PS I am genuinely interested, but was coming to the conclusion that, even if we did scrape the money together, our DS would feel hopelessly out of place alongside kids from much wealthier backgrounds.

Yes, that is just over £2k a term more than DD's prep school fees. DD's fees will increase when she goes into secondary/high school, and again at sixth form, but till nowhere near the £5k mark.

The advantages of living in South Yorkshire perhaps

Isitmeor - there is quite a mix in DD's school from people who manage to just scrape the fees together to those who have no concerns finncially at all and are very well off. Noone is made to feel out of their depth as far as I am aware, and these kind of issues, IME, do come out and are known about if they are occuring.

I think some get financial help from grandparents and relatives.

My dd's school just sent a note advising how you can pay school fees in lump sums of up to three years' worth in advance - apparently, rich grandparents have been asking for it. Also, just registered my son for school and there is a separate signature portion for grandparents and other relatives who are paying to undertake to pay the fees.

DS is in year 1 in a pre-prep and DD will go into the pre-prep department in Jan (pre-prep there stars from around 2.5). We never planned to privately educate them, things just happened and that's what we ended up doing. I've had to go back to work sooner than planned and my wages basically pay the school fees. But that is our decision and how we feel our money is best spent.

Not everyone at their school is rich, although some of them are. We live in a small 3 bed and would love to move to a bigger house. But we feel the sacrifice is worth it.

No of course not. A lot of people really struggle and rely on Grandparents to sub the fee.

Forgotten to add the grandparent bit - def some in DD's school who are funded this way.

No, not wealthy. Huge sacrifices and learnt to enjoy the outdoors for entertainment and holidays. But you do what you have to if that is what you want.

It depends what you mean by rich. There are parents at my ds's school who genuinely find it hard to scrape together £20 for a school trip. They would think anyone who can afford private education is very rich indeed.

We are not rich but have managed although its been very hard at times.

DS1 started at prep school at 4 (he is now 16) and the fees then were managable, around £1,200 per term. DD1 started 3 years later and then the fees rose steadily. A huge jump from year 2 to year 3 (almost doubled) although that school now has changed the system so it rises more gradually and in year 8 it is around £4,000 a term.

It was a real struggle the last few years at prep school and then we moved abroad where DH working so his company now pay towards the school fees. DD1 at a state aided boarding school which is £4,000 per term and DS at a boarding school which is just over £8,000 per term. Thankfully he got an academic scholarship and DH's company pays a contribution. Even though DS on good money, there is no way we could afford it otherwise and we are now saving hard for DD2 and DS2 who will go private in a few years.

Not all kids at the private schools are wealthy. Quite a few at the old prep school had bursaries and some had help from family. We would love to buy a bigger house in the UK when we return with a bit of land. We have however two choices. Stay our house and educate DC 3 and 4 privately or move to our 'dream' home and they go to state schools. I think we will be staying put in our old house

I am always amazed at the definitions of "not rich" that appear on mumsnet!

We could probably afford private schools - and that very fact puts us in a different universe to, I guess, more than half the parents at ds's primary school.

Saying you are not rich because you have to choose between private education for 4 children any your 'dream" sums up this attitude IMHO!

I think that there is a very different definition of rich, obviously someone who scrimps and saves to send them is rich to someone who couldn't manage it even if they scrimped and saved. However, not everyone is rich ,in the broad sense of the word-it all depends on priorities and some people will do without holidays, an expensive car, meals out etc in order to send their DC.

seeker I think you are right. DH has told me before that people apparently tend to underestimate how relatively well-off they are. So - given that the average income of the top 20% of households is £72,600 anybody with a household income even close to that is wealthier than at least 80% of the population. And that's gross income, so anybody who could contemplate four sets of private school fees out of taxed income (that's how it works, isn't it?) must surely be in this wealthiest group?

DS is at private school - there's a real spread of parents I think. Many kids are on bursaries and/or parents are spending every penny they have on education so they have nothing left for holidays, new clothes etc whilst others have swimming pools and fancy cars so there's no one type of parent. We're in the middle of the spread really and what I find interesting is that parents are always trying to suss out each other's financial situation at social evenings etc and there's always lots of very subtle questioning about bursaries etc.

"some people will do without holidays, an expensive car, meals out etc in order to send their DC."

Many people do without these things in order to put food on the table!

If you are going to make huge sacrifices in order to afford private school, I would think very carefully about this choice.

My parents made these huge sacrifices - we werent rich, and after they'd paid the school fees, we were about the same as being on benefits. IMO, the money would have been far better spent on the free local state school + extra tutors, plus some clothes that weren't from jumble sales, maybe even a holiday occasionally, or a car that wasn't a crappy old wreck.

Private school is not teh whole picture - I have said this on mn before, but my experience just taught me (a) how to be poor, and not to expect luxuries and (b) that we could only succeed if we were removed from the common herd and placed in a special environment.
I have spent most of my adult life trying to unlearn these lessons. I have progressed as far as owning a dishwasher, and a new car. It took me ages to convince myself that I deserved, or could afford a dishwasher!

nighbynight thanks for sharing that experience. Food for thought!

I suppose that myself and my dh could afford private eduction but choose not to privately educate our children. I do however, know many people who stuggle to pay fees but believe that it is worth it

My nephew's private ed is funded by grandparents, his parents scrape by otherwise.

Meanwhile DS best friend's family, have a holiday home in Florida, are flying there 1st class (says DS ) for a months holiday -- but they send their DC 2 (very ordinary quality) state schools.

seeker if we were rich, we'd have the dream house and the kids at private school. Although we are hopefully going to educate all 4 DC privately, it has been spread out due to their ages which range from 9 months to 16 years. Along the way with DC1 and 2 we've had a few scholarships and a bursary and couldn't have done it without that. I've just lost my mother and the small inheritance will help with the school fees over the next few years to get DS through his A levels and DD through her GCSEs.

Like nightbynight's parents we have made sacrifices. DH and I have both worked very hard to get where we are (from crap state school education) and we would love a new car and luxury holidays but we don't have those because we choose to educate privately.

To be honest, we have no choice with DC1 and 2 as we are living abroad due to DH's work and therefore DC1 and 2 have to full board.

By seeker Sat 28-Nov-09 09:49:55
"some people will do without holidays, an expensive car, meals out etc in order to send their DC."

Oh, I agree. I know they do. Infact I am very aware of this fact. And it is all relative.

But to me rich is vey different to being well off.

Am trying to think of how I'd (or my parents) have thought of it when I was younger. Private school was so far removed from my own experience that I suppose I'd have assumed that everyone would have to be really rich. Hpwever, in reality - they have to be well off and earning a good salary, or have wealthy parents. They don;t have to be what I would consider rich.

I would also imagine that paying to pur 3, 4 and more children through private school, especially done south or the more prestigious schools, would require parents to be pretty rich (or grandparents).