Private educaiton - is everyone really rich that sends their kids?

[Clare123]

We are fairly wealthy, but I still think education 2 kids privately is so much money! I was wondering how most families do it?!

So many assumptions about private schools that perpetuate the stereotype and make them seem more exclusive than they actually are.

Like lots of other Mnetters I am a teacher and not the millionaire city worker who is automatically associated with private school parents. I do not do my job to earn money to pay for private school fees. I do my job because I enjoy it. I do not have to sacrifices in terms of quality time with my kids to earn money which is again an assumption being made here. Like Pagwatch I do not choose private school because it will equip my kids to make stacks of money. If I thought my kids would come out valuing only or mainly making money I'd whip them out immediately. I chose the school partly because I have no local secular state alternative which is not also divided along ethnicity but also because it enables them to value and enjoy education and learning without being ashamed of this.

The stuff about the lack of benefits in private education here is incredibly naive at best. Most private schools boast unparalleled results and while, of course, this is because they select academically in the first place, it's also partly because of what they can expect of pupils and parents in terms of effort etc, class sizes etc, etc.

While there is an argument that well supported students will do well at any school (and I don't doubt that my kids would achieve good academic results at any state school because of my support) there are kids wwho wouldn't and there are also kids who need to get excellent rather than just good results to pursue their ambitions.

At my dcs' school there are a signficant number of black students and there is plenty of evidence that they would NOT achieve good results in state schools (because of peer influence, low expectations from teachers ....) but there are also a large number of students from immigrant backgrounds who want to be doctors and they know that they need to get straight As to achieve this. For these students (who are not from particularly wealthy backgrounds) a private education is likely to make an enormous difference to their prospects.

I was educated in the state system and teach in the state system as was and does my dp so my choices are very, very well informed and based partly on my personal and professional experience of education. I have made a conscious decision to provide my kids with an education that was not available to me and I am constantly amazed at the difference in opportunities and experiences between the two.

fivecandles I as a state school teacher with a DS who is just about to enter the independent system to take him through the secondary years I agree with your last two comments.

i want teachers to have TIME for my son - there will 14 in his class. My average class size is 30 - some classes have 32 in them. It is the attention and support I feel we will be paying for not necessarily a better standard of education. My DS is not overly academic but is shy and unconfident and needs nurturing - he would get swallowed up and lost in the state system as yet another middle-low ability boy.

we scrimped and scraped to send ours to private prep school and dont ever regret it.

I've no doubt you have alypaly, in your mind, perhaps even for real. But this is another one of those statements that really needs qualifying for it to be meaningful. Some people srimp and save just to survive, some people think that forgoing the 4th holiday abroad is a sacrifice.

'And before anyone askes why I do not home ed him and save the school fees for paying for private SALT etc. I couldn't. OK, I just couldn't. He is awake for up to 5 hours each night, he is full on every waking moment, it would not be in the best interests of our relationship, not to mention my mental health, to care for him/teach him 24/7. If you think you could do it you are all far better people than me.'

Luckyblackcat I'm not better than you, just poorer.

Riven, I now have copies of the letters written by these schools to my LEA - as am going to tribunal - stating they will not accept DS as a pupil, one even claims that the existing SN pupil they have is having an impact on the education of the other children. Several state that their buildings - being tiny ancient village schools - are not suitable for DS' mobility problems.

Several more claim to be full - I have contacted these schools myself for a place for a child - not giving my real name and information - and two of them fell over themselves to offer me appoints with the heads and a place at their school.

So, in my first hand experience, a maintained mainstream school does not have to take a disabled child.

We have 2 at private schools and one is about to move to senior school. Some parents are seriously rich and the fees are like pocket money. Others, like us, drive older cars and cut back on holidays. We too were shocked by senior schools fees in London so I will be going back to work before he moves. I know other parents who work extra days to pay the fees. So it's a mix.

I don't know how my parents managed with 7 children, obviously they were not poor but as the youngest (until the 7th came along just before I left home) sometimes think I'd have preferred not to have hand-me-down knickers and Von Trapp style clothes and gone to a state school instead - especially as I got expelled anyway

I would be wary of 'if you can afford full time nursery you can afford school fees' argument. The big difference - at primary anyway - is that if you are a working couple, you need child care AND school fees, and it is this factor which has prevented many people I know going down the private school route (having thought they could afford it.)
If you are having to pay a nanny to pick up your child everyday at 3.30pm, and also be with them for at least part of the long school holidays, that - combined with the fees and school extras - is a very expensive combination indeed.

I'd like to raise an issue I haven't seen discussed in this tread yet. And this is a bit surprising since there has been lots of discussion about choice. To me there is only a real choice if there is an offer of a decent primary school (i.e. Ofsted rating of 1 or at the very least 2 with opportunity to obtain 1 in due course).
What if your child is only offered a place at a school which is rated as poor? Would you be happy to send your child there? Here is where real choice kicks in for me. If your not then you'll send your child to an independent school, however, if you do not have a choice you will resign to send your child to the poorly rated state primary. In my area there are quite a few primary schools, some really good which I would love my dd to go to, but unfortunately some awful ones too.

I am sure there are parents who have experienced not having their child being accepted to their choosen school, primary or secondary, and therefore felt forced or obliged to turn to the independent school sector?

I am currently doing a PhD and so haven't got the means for private fees at the momeent - hopefully this will change with employment after graduation. Until then I am having to hope that my daughter who is one years old now is accepted at a good state primary. If not, good heavens, I shall have to do a Bell de Jour...(kidding!)

Thanks for reading - any comments and experiences would be appreciated!

Thanks Riven, for the good luck wishes.

What an interesting mix of people at the private school gates; some in yellow Porshes and some in white vans..

Private Education IS a choice regardless of income. If you set up your children to go through the private system then money, or lack of it, will not stop you.
Getting a good (greater than 50%) discount is easier now than ever before for the children who have been prepaired..
(music, sport, art, drama etc)

I would love to home ed ours but recognise my failings, which are many! It easier to grapple with the monster £ generation machine and look forward to the days when it will be still be running but the fees will have stopped!

Snuppeline

I wouldn't dismiss schools that don't get an Ofsted rating 1 or 2. These ratings are quite crude and 3 actually means satisfactory.

Where we live, only a handful of the town's primary schools get 1s and 2s and yet bright children will leave all the schools with good sats results...

The schools with 1s and 2s are the ones with the most middle class children, suggesting that a school with a mixed intake will never get a good rating, even if the teaching is good. E.g. Ofsted look at average sats results rather than at what individual children achieve.

Plus, teachers move between all these schools...our local school is not rated well by Ofsted (at present) and yet the deputy head taught for many years at a very popular and highly rated school. I doubt whether he has dumbed down his teaching since moving schools. He also believes that the teachers at his current school are better than at his old school, even though Ofsted don't like the school as much.

So, when you view schools, don't look at average sats results but ask how individual children achieve, and take Ofsted reports with a pinch of salt.