Private educaiton - is everyone really rich that sends their kids?

[Clare123]

We are fairly wealthy, but I still think education 2 kids privately is so much money! I was wondering how most families do it?!

There are state schools that will offer all of that, I teach in one so the independent route does not always bring obvious benefits over the state sector, although obviously in some cases it will do.

I totally accept that you are paying tax to fund the education of others, but it is not as if you have a choice

Morosky if your dd is happy and achieving then there is no reason to make a switch. If that wasn't the case and you couldn't find a different school in the state sector then it makes sense to look at the private sector.

I think it is difficult to accept family money as you have to be certain that it offered without strings. Ds's school fees are the biggest monthly payment I make.

I thought my fee list was for just day pupils, but I may be wrong. TBH I only know the fees because I want to quote them at dp to put him off the idea.

That makes it a bargain then!

My dp does not think that dd is achieving at her state school which is why he wants to move her into the independent sector.

I didn't like the idea of taking family money. Now we could probably afford fees on our own as long as we did not have another child. But I just don't want to.

The point I was making is that people often justify their "choice" of private education by doing down the state system and saying things like "well, we value education and so that is why our child goes to a private school."

"The point I was making is that people often justify their "choice" of private education by doing down the state system and saying things like "well, we value education and so that is why our child goes to a private school."

It irritates me that we should have to justify it at all actually. Why should I defend my education choices to you, but yet we get challenged for our choices constantly.

Not sure why 'choice' is in quotes. Lots of people choose how to spend their income. No one seems to criticise those who buy new cars every two or three years but do seem to criticise those who choose private education, when the cost (at least for one child) is the same.

Obviously not everyone does have that choice. I choose to work extremely hard in a very demanding job. I could choose to work part time and claim benefits but again I choose not too. I would say that I chose to work very hard at school and get a good education to enable me to get a good job but then I'd sound like Xenia!

I also think that value has little to do with cost.

It's not a choice in the true meaning of the word. Hence the quotes.

I've argued endlessly on here that education is not like owning a car or other commodity. I don't doubt that if I get into that again I will be not listened to or misunderstood again, just as I always am.

lol Mollie we don't have a new car and I suspect lots of people don't. I also suspect that lots of people who have new cars buy them on credit so they are shelling out £20K over a few years and they have traded in their old car. Slightly different from shelling out £20K a year per child.

I don't have a new car beacause I see it as a pointless expense given that our car that is however many years old works as well and gets us from a -b.

I guess it is similar in that for me paying for an education would be a pointless expense.

We educate all three of ours privately and although we get a discount for two of them because of my job it is a huge stretch.Our fees at the school two of our boys go to range from £3000 a term to £4000 depending on age .It is ds3s brthday today and I will be shocked if he has any presents costing more than £10 at most .

Ds2 is at an independent school for children with specific learning difficulties ,we looked at the options in state senior for him but there is no expertise in his difficulties nad frankly they weren't interested.I want him to be able to be self sufficiant and an independent tax paying member of society,he is capable of this a couple of D grade GCSEs and a NVQ in travel and tourism is not good enough...so we cripple ourselves financially.

Sorry Morosky I didn't mean you, just people I know!

I am not telling anyone how to spend their money, I don't really care too much. I have very strong views on indepdendent eduation but I am battling a cold and can;t be bothered to start a state/ independent debate.

We could afford fees but it would mean dp would have to work full time rather than part time meaning our household would not be calm and ordered. I crumble when life gets chaotic. We have a nice life and I think dd benefits from that, if she wants to purse a hobby she can do , she dances, rides, is about to start shooting and goes to a lovely little art school in the holidays. We go the theatre as a family regularly, we take short breaks and I hope that I will be able to pay for dd to travel when she is older. I think she gets far more from that than sending her to a school where she may get an extra A*.

The one clear advantage I can see for choosing state over private is the access to LEA resources. Choosing private appears to mean foregoing this even if legally they are supposed to provide them to children in their area - eg SALT, Ed Psych etc.

To answer the OP and avoiding all other arguements about state v. private, I can say from personal experience that the answer is NO, not everyone who sends their kids to private schools is rich. All five of us children were privately educated, my mother was a single parent on income support. My two best friends came from single parent families and although there were lots of 'rich' families at school, there were plenty that were struggling on scholarships and bursaries.

I'm not going to go into how my mother afforded it for us but she did manage. Would I do it myself for my own children? that's questionable... as I do feel she made a terrifying level of personal sacrifce which I'm not 100% was worth it for the benefits we recieved.

MollieO,

There is a waiting list for LEA resources and many hoops to jump through. If a private school kid needs extra help, they can get it straightaway.

Bonsoir - Are you making the assumption that because the parents at your DD's private school pay they therefore value education? You must be because you can't know them all personally.

Some people pay, just because they can. Others pay because it buys them a type of exclusivity. I think you are mistaken by thinking that all parents who pay for education value it. Certainly the ones who are going without to enable them to do so value it, but that goes without saying .

thedolly - I know a lot of parents (do lots of stuff with the Parents' Association) and it is very easy to measure the relative interest of parents in DD's school versus the DSSs' schools - things like the %age of parents coming to parents' evening, the number of meetings requested by parents with teachers are very telling (we know what goes on at the DSSs' schools as DP is very active in their Parents' Associations!).

I am very interested in my DC's education but I am not quite as interested (or active)in the Parents' Association .

Its funny how the same aguments come up in this kind of debate, the idea that if you send your child to a private school you are rich and if you don't you are poor. The 'caring about their child's education' is a weird one because I don't believe that in balance private education is necessarily better than a state education and I am speaking from personal experience here - I refused a place at a private school because I knew the standard of teaching was beneath what I could get by staying put, in my subjects at least.

I do think that anyone who is massively against private education has a problem. What is the issue? Parents who send their children to a private school pay for education twice as they can't opt out of taxes that pay for state schools, any more than someone on private medical insurance can opt out of taxes that go to the NHS. These people are paying for but freeing up resources for other children. Is that not a good thing?