Private educaiton - is everyone really rich that sends their kids?

[Clare123]

We are fairly wealthy, but I still think education 2 kids privately is so much money! I was wondering how most families do it?!

did not read all the posts, but scanned through most.
if it makes you happy that you cut all your expenses and send your child private school, then do it.
my dad`s friend sent his children all to private school and it made him proud, but none of then turned out to be genius.
disclaimer,no offenc e to anyone

Heathen - I agree with your point about the private school thing tending to be self perpetuating. Also ties in with MollieO's point - that people tend to do 'what worked for them'. I think it's slightly different though - I think a lot of people tend to stay within their comfort zone, which is slightly different to saying 'it worked for them'.

I know people who send their kids to private schools because they went through the private system themselves. It's all they know. It's not that they necessarily achieved any better, it;s simply about staying within the boundaries of what they feel safe with.

Thing is, no two people are going to have the same experience in education, different people are suited to different schools, and anyway, an individual school has the capacity to change enormously over the period of a few years, never mind a generation or two.

I've always suspected one of the downsides of private is that if you put your children through it then they may in their turn feel under enormous pressure to pay for their children. Or, even worse, expect you as the grandparents to fork out again to help out!

HeathenOfSurburbia;

Very good point .

Perhaps, taking your logic one step further, these parents should have a lower level of income tax to pay, regardless of wage, as they clearly have no intention of using state schooling. Or is there any other way of rewarding and celebrating their monthly charitable donations?

but thast pre-supposes that everyone who choses private education does so thattheir child gets a city type , high income salary - which is certainly not the case in our circs.

DH wenttp private school by virtue of his parents working there. I went to state school. DH left at 18 ( unusually) and fell into a career which pays very very well. But he doesn't enjoy it and has taken DS1 to work with him on several occasions to illustrate that whilst it is high income, high status blah blah blah - it is not something that he leaps out of bed to do.

DS1s education is very academic but he chooses the subject he enjoys and persues them.
At the moment he wants to either write or paint. I don'tthink he is driven bythe big house big car thing because it has no novelty, aspirational value to him.

He knows that much of our money will go towards DS2 as he reaches adulthood and needs things. I cannot begin to imagine DS1 wanting a high flying career and two kids at public school - not least because I can't see him staying in the UK. He sees it as predictable andtight arse for all that he loves many aspects of it.

Long and rambling I know - but not everyone in private education aims for money as the ultimate prize. I am sure some do. But to assume that everyone thinks the same is the very reason whythese threads are divisive instead of informative.
No one is really that straightforward.
My Dcs are in private and state, I am also not chooseing home or private school as I am a SAHM. But then I am also a carer.
Why do we always think everyone else is a neat little stereotype

actually my last post was astonishingly dim.

Ignore me.
I need to keep away from these threads as I just keep being offended by stereotypes when people are quite reasonably just talking in braod terms.

I shall go away.
Ignore me

I think that often on these threads people confuse the journey with the destination.

I am paying for my children's educational journey which simply gives me some control over it (i.e. it gives me a bigger pool of schools to choose from). I have absolutely no control over their destinations!!!

At the moment ds1 wants to be a lawyer and ds2 wants to build things - who knows how things will turn out?

My DH's brother was privately educated. Hated it. Got a MSc then flew to Australia to live in a village wot barters eggs for helping you paint your house and sells jewlery and knits his own clothes.

On paper I imagine that many people would assume that we could easily afford private education and to be fair, 2 in prep school wouldn't make a huge amount of difference to our lifestyle but we see private school as a second option where the state schools are not up to scratch. Luckily we have a wonderful school at the end of our road where my kids are thriving, I cannot imagine why I'd want to spend £12k a year on a private primary especially when the current school needs my childrens needs and feeds into excellent state secondaries not to mention having a steady stream of children moving to leading london independent schools

2 in private secondary school would stretch us a lot, but we could do it but quite honestly, with a decent state secondary almost guaranteed I'd personally prefer not to work full time and to use our disposible income on things on things we like to do like take the children to the theatre, to travel with them and to enjoy the luxuries we'd have to give up.

If our only option were substandard state schools then I'd move heaven and earth to pay private school fees but private, regardless of my income, is always a back up to a good state education

My parents me and db to private school. It was a struggle for them at times to find the money. I always felt guilty that I was taking money they could ill afford and I always felt like the poor relation, amongst a load of rich girls. They made me think the local state school was terrible, so I was terrified of leaving the security of my school. I decided to leave private education at 16 and go to local sixth form college. Best decision I made. I think my parents were relieved too, at not having to find the fees!

I have decided to send my dc's to state primary. My parents have offered to pay the fees, but I don't want to feel beholden to them. I am also impressed by what state education round here has to offer, so there is no real reason to pay extra for it.

we scrimped and scraped to send ours to private prep school and dont ever regret it. It was such a lovely school,22 in a class and thankfully they both did really well. What an amazing bonus it was when Ds1 got offered a partial bursary at senior school in a wonderful school just 500 yards from home and 5 years later DS2 got offered a full bursary. My partner and i split up just before DS1 left infant school ,so there is no way on this earth i could have afforded it on my meagre salary. They have loved their schooling and we are all sooo grateful.

The families at DCs indie school are mostly rich. I'm sure they would deny it but most have at least two cars, large homes, many Mums don't work because they don't want/need to. Not many are making real sacrifices from what I've seen.
To be honest the kids don't know they're born.

But to be fair this is just a reflection of the area. The excellent faith school is also populated by the well heeled.

Sounds like you live near me Litchick!

My DD is in Year 3 at a state junior school which I think is excellent. But we are from South Africa so compared to their state schools the facilities here is amazing.

She does after school art club & hockey and gets violin lessons in school time. I pay for violin and art but not much. They also offer for free after school or in school time: drama club, footbal, netball, orchestra, book club and some others I can't remember. They compete against other schools in netball etc. and against each other in house games often.

Yes there are 30 children in the class, but with a teacher, a TA and many helpers I don't see this as a problem.

The school achieves excellent results with many going on to attend the local Grammar School.

She is thriving and happy. She does not get any homework except reading so its stress free for me. And its free. And we can go on holiday twice a year!!

So for us, even though we might at a stretch be able to send her to private school I don't think it is worth the money.

"You can make the parental requirement money, membership of a religious group, willingness to enthusiastically counterfeit membership of a religious group, or willingness to stand naked on one's head in the town square for half an hour every Sunday for a year or two."

Why any of those things, though, rather than something more directly related to the child rather than the parent?

If I ran a private school I'd interview every applicant and take the people whose children I thought would benefit most from that environment. Income, background, supersitious belief, where they lived, possibly even academic achievement, would all be irrelevant.

UnquietDad your post is really quite offensive as you appear to refer to religion as "superstitious belief". A bit insulting to those who are commited Christians and committed members of other religions don't you think?

I don't think this thread is about religion is it? It is about how wealthy people at private schools are.

Where we live UQD independent secondaries do interview every applicant and they ask them to an entrance test.
Apart from the highly academic schools where test scores rule, I think they are looking for the best fit, iyswim.
Some speak to the parents too - so it's certainly not a case of just pulling out your cheque book.

I didn't mention the religious/superstitious criterion until it came up. It's one of many I think should be irrelevant.

I don't doubt that many schools interview every applicant, but that wasn't the exact thrust of my point.

'Isn't more a case of replicating what worked for you? If you had a good education wouldn't you want that for your dcs? I certainly would. '

Luckily I had a good state education. I think that those who were educated privately are often frightened of the unknown and don't even look at state schools, they might be pleasantly surprised if they did-and save a lot of money!
I think that if schools are interviewing every applicant, they should see the DC alone and not even see the parent.

I had a fab state education but unfortunately I can't provide the same for my ds. Variety of reasons why and instead I've had to choose private.

I would do the same MollieO, but luckily we have good state schools-so I haven't had to. I just get the impression that some people never look in the first place.

Riven, I'd just like to reply to you assertion 'And private schools will not take 'problem' children'.

The tiny independent school that my DS attendeds is the only school who will give him a place - 6 local maintained mainstream and 3 special schools have all turned him down.

General comment - yes our income is above average, but I can't imagine many of you bought your fridge/freezer from a charity shop? Most folk with an income, surely, would presume to buy this sort of thing brand spanking new from a shop? Or is that a sweeping generalisation as to how folks that do not pay for school fees spend their hard earned wages?

And MollieO (I think, sorry it was too far back) is correct, the specialist teaching service (funded by LEA) will not go into an independent school once a child reaches 5.

I am very fortunate, however, that my DS gets 1 visit per term from a SALT, and six monthly visits from a physio and an OT - really not enough but I am not in a position, as someone so rashly aasumed , to be writing a cheque for every service that my DS needs.

And before anyone askes why I do not home ed him and save the school fees for paying for private SALT etc. I couldn't. OK, I just couldn't. He is awake for up to 5 hours each night, he is full on every waking moment, it would not be in the best interests of our relationship, not to mention my mental health, to care for him/teach him 24/7. If you think you could do it you are all far better people than me.

Piscesmoon, you are right. I was privately educated and so was DH. It never occurred to us to do anything else with them from nursery onwards and nor did it to the parents of the majority of their friends (and ours). It is due to a certain extent to the fear of the unknown. I am now looking at the state system for DS2 for 6th Form. But this is a completely different ball game. Even so,it was only after I persuaded DH to come to an open evening that he came round to the idea.At first he thought I'd completely lost the plot.