Private educaiton - is everyone really rich that sends their kids?

[Clare123]

We are fairly wealthy, but I still think education 2 kids privately is so much money! I was wondering how most families do it?!

You sound bitter, starlight.

What is the point is saying £500 per birthday party when that is patently not true?

CertainAge - I can see we're coming at this from very different perspectives.

I'm personally not convinced that there is a direct link between how hard one works and how much money one earns/has. Take maternity leave for example - me and my NCT group peers have all taken nice long maternity leaves because we can afford to, yet many people can only take 2-6 weeks because they cannot afford to lose the pay. To me, that sounds like poorer people working harder than better off people in my specific example.

But you are right in one respect - I work as hard as I need to to support the lifestyle I place the highest value on.

The point needs to be made again that in order to get a bursary to a private school (and some 30% of students are in receipt of one sort or another) you cannot be rich. In fact you almost certainly have to be very poor. Children who go to private school on a bursary are almost always overlooked in this debate and that really annoys me because those children are often amongst the very poorest and the very brightest in the country.

Starlight "It would appear that 'not rich' actually means 'very rich, but not as rich as we'd like to be'".

It's not about how hard you work it's about what sort of work you do and what sort of decisions (you've been able to) make.

I can't say that my kids go to private school because I work harder than those parents whose kids go to state school but I can say that I've been able to choose a job and a partner and a school and a house which enables me to send my kids to a private school where other parents who might also have made these choices have made others.

I'm not rich! Ds is at private school as I realised that I'd be paying the same amount in CM costs for ds to go to state school. Instead he can be in a class of 16 rather than 32 and do after school activities (which he wouldn't have been able to do if we had stayed with the CM). I pay £4 per day for wraparound care (available from 7.30 am to 6.30pm) as opposed to the £40 the CM wanted to charge once ds started school. I pay £30 for holiday cover (CM wanted to charge £55).

There are very wealthy people at ds's school but the majority are two income households (I'm a single parent with £50/mth maintenance from exp). Most of my friends with dcs at state school are either SAHMs or work part time. Having said that I also know very wealthy people who choose to send their dcs to state school (not ours but in a catchment area where most houses cost from £750,000 to £2.5m).

Yes, Starlight but it depends what you think of as temporary. I paid nursery fees for 6 years. Even with the Govt grant (which is still applicable in early years in a private school by the way) the private school fees were less than we were paying to the nursery.

And, private school fees are also temporary, albeit less so than nursery. Some people see private school fees are an investment (I don't) but there is plenty of evidence that it does pay off in terms of future income.

I think there are lots and lots of families who do not think long-term when it comes to financial planning and education when they could. Obviously there are some that can't. Same thing when it comes to nursery fees and university and then pension planning. This is about long-term social and cultural attitudes. The middle classes have long recognized that it's ok to accumulate student debt for example while other cultures have a different approach i.e. many of my Muslim students stay at home with their parents throughout university and in the early years of marriage to save money...

Lots and lots of children with immigrant parents at independent school because of different cultural attitudes to education/ aspiration rather than being rich.

Can I repeat that I am a teacher as is dp. I'm assuming I don't fall into your 'rich' category?? I do appreciate I am comfortably off compared to many. I don't complain. I honestly don't need/ want more money. But I'd be surprised if people nowadays thought of teachers as being 'rich'.

TO: StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Nov-09 10:06:20
It isn't just the fees you need to think about. It is the uniform, activities, holidays, riding outfit, hockey stick and a few hundred quid for each birthday party you are invited to........... What are you buying?

Fivecandles - from your posts above I have the impression you are puzzled why SAHMs don't go back to work to pay school fees.

1. It is not practical for me to return to my old job due to the long hours and overseas travel. Other local jobs would pay a lot less.

1. We don't live near a private school but have excellent state schools on our doorstep.

1. The fees at private schools round here are £3,500 a term at primary level and £4,500 + at secondary level. Then there will be university fees to pay. It is an enormous outgoing to pay for private education and so one has to be sure the private education would be significantly better than state to consider it.

If ones children are happy in their state schools there are things other than education to spend ones money on such as a bigger house with a bigger garden (I don't mean a mansion but just a normal family house which costs a fortune round here). I do not like shopping at cheap supermarkets where farmers are given a bad rate for their food. We do enjoy our holidays!

My DD is at a French private school - fees are much lower here than in the UK as they are subsidised by the state. We pay around EUR 5,300 per year (canteen, lunch hour and after-school care are optional extras).

There are parents from all walks of life at DD's school, ranging from those for whom the annual fees represent the small change from an afternoon's shopping to those for whom the school fees mean that they cannot afford more than a two-bedroomed flat, and never go on holiday other than to stay with relatives. All the parents value education, however. That is what they have in common.

At my DSSs state school, not all parents value education. Therein lies the only constant difference between the two groups of parents.

Many people aren't in a position to afford school fees but I think what is apparent from this thread is many people who could choose to don't actually ever think about it. Their view of private schools is Eton and £25,000 a year which is clearly unaffordable for the majority of the population. At primary level school fees are significantly less. Ds's are £7,500 pa and will go up to £9,000 for his last couple of years at primary. A lot of money but not the headline amount people think of when they think about private schools.

If ds is as bright as I was at school I will be looking for scholarships and bursaries for secondary school. Something that would never have occurred to my parents as, to them, independent schools were only for the 'rich' and we wouldn't have been able to afford it.

The average spend on birthday presents for ds's state and private school friends seems to be maximum £10. Fortunately we also don't have as many invites as there are half the number of children in the class!

Indeed, MolliO - it never even crossed the mind of my DP and his exW to send the DSSs to a private school when the DSSs were small, even though they could have easily afforded to do so.

I would not use an independent school but I know that if I were to use an one near me for secondary we would be paying £20K per year.

Golly. £20k per year. Is that boarding? Day schools around us are £12k to £14k pa. Ds won't be doing that unless we get a chunky bursary/scholarship!