A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Is this school in England ? I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone; teacher, priest or nun in this day and age say a ‘lie is a key to the devils door’. I say this as a catholic taught by strict priests. Are you based in Ireland by chance?

I'm sure the concept of becoming "that parent" is one fostered by teachers who actually think parents care about it. The reality is that it doesn't actuality bother parents who, rightly, put their children way above worrying what a few teachers might think of them.

That's what abusive people bank on, it's no wonder children with SEN are more likely to be abused when their SEN is used to discredit what they report.

Yes, I was thinking the same, it's very curious. I've been RC all my life and have never heard this. I was wondering where the OP is based.

I’m from England, around London

If you have reported the assault, the school will investigate and the teacher will be suspended. Any evidence that she did this will mean her dismissal, of that you can be sure.

You are, with respect, somewhat naive. Many, many parents of children who undoubtedly have SEN will tell you that they have had to battle against denial by schools that their child had any problems. Unsurprisingly, teachers are not infallible and they can get these things wrong. Additionally, many children with difficulties mask them, and it takes and experienced and good teacher to see through that.

People are cynical about threads on here these days, as so many are seemingly designed to get people riled, or just plain batshit, so it's very hard to know whether to believe anything is genuine.

Utterly awful people.

This is a little boy who is obviously struggling and a mother trying her best. Schools do get it wrong, ASD children are frequently bullied and there are bad apples in the teaching profession - but according to MN, teachers can do no wrong. 45yrs ago I had my face slapped by a teacher, couldn't tell my parents as I would have got a smack from my Dad for misbehaving. But that teacher resigned after making the same mistake with another child.

OP, it is good that the school is launching an investigation and they won't do that lightly. Make sure the school knows there was a witness.
Also speak to the school SENCO.
There is a helpful FB group called Not Fine in School.

I am very surprised to hear that a faith school would say such things about keys and the devil.

Unfortunately that happens too. My chold has ASD and ADHD. Police went in. I wasn't even told until after when my dc was utterly terrified that they was off to prison. Dc was in year 5 so not 7 years old. But still in primary. Is it normal or OK to let police talk to a SEN diagnosed child without informing the parents? Who knows. As a pp has said, if you complain you very quickly become THAT parent. You pick your battles and stopping it happening to next child falls off the radar on favour of protecting your own skin.

In our case an allegation was made when dc was funded for full time 1:1. When we asked "so did the 1:1 see this?" There was no 1:1. But school happily took the council funding it. So again not rvery adult in every school has angelic morals.

@DownyBirch

One of which is something that happened in 2019. So these are very uncommon incidents. Of course these are serious incidents. But I do wonder how many more incidents were reported, investigated and then found to be groundless.

But, like I said, I found those within two minutes of looking, I'm sure that if I spent more time looking I could find a number of recent examples.

The fact remains, it's clearly wholly untrue to claim that teachers never hit pupils. Or do you seek to deny that?

I'm delighted to know that you've canvassed every parent and every teacher. I'd be interested to see your data.

What you actually mean is you don't care. Don't care about others' views, don't care if your child's behaviour inconveniences others, don't care as long as you don't actually have to parent and no one has the temerity to challenge you.

I’m catholic. Never heard that expression before in my life. And I’ve definitely lied before. In P1 I told my teacher it was someone else that drew freckles on the doll.

I work as a dentist and one day my trainee nurse who was mixing impression material for me did it wrong. Rather than mentioning this out loud in front of the patient, I moved her hand slightly to gesture to stop doing what she was doing.
this ended up being reported by her to the practice manager as I had slapped her.
we had another nurse in the surgery at the time who witnessed everything and was able to report back what really happened.

I wonder if the truth is something similar to my experience, that your son’s hand was moved for some reason and your son misunderstood? Is there physical evidence? Bruising et?

tbh, it does sound highly unlikely that a teacher would do that. It’s about 40 years since corporal punishment was banned, so it’s not something that is on anyone’s radar. And no professional would risk their jobs, profession, reputation or livelihood I don’t think.

begins closed doors, as a PP mentioned there’s a very small minute chance that a bad’un may risK but I am just not sure that the story is clear cut.

also does your son have any behavioural issues related to his own diagnosis?

You couldn't be more mistaken.

No. I just think it is interesting that five minutes googling was finding examples going back to 2019. I would have thought , google being what it is, that more recent incidents would have appeared at the top of the page, and that if there were a lot of reports a report from 2019 would only have been found a bit deeper in google.

I am certainly not denying that things sometimes happen in schools that show teachers in a bad light. But it is also true that false allegations, whether made maliciously or by children misinterpreting what has happened, both of which scenarios I have heard about first hand and more than once, do happen in schools and I think happen far more frequently than actual incidents of teacher / pupil abuse.

Yes, it's certainly strange, and not standard for RC schools.

Why did they make your child stand in the corridor?

I work in schools and teachers don't put them in the corridor for no reason. It's usually down to the child's behaviour.

This is assuming the school actually has done something wrong to start with

So did this child come out and tell you that the teacher hit your son? You know before your son came out and told you?

you are acting very emotively which is no surprise but you need to be calm & work with the school to determine what happened.

I find it hard to believe that he is being bullied by multiple teachers but maybe his truth is that as someone with the mental capacity of a 1year old he doesn’t understand that actually the teachers are not bullying him. Surely he doesn’t have the capacity to cognitively recognise what is bullying.

why also is he in a mainstream school?

MN is getting some batshit threads lately.

I am marvelling at this child's advanced language ability. Being able to recount in the first person an incident that happened in the recent past is way beyond what is expected of a one-year old. Having the composure to speak coherently after being physically assaulted is seriously impressive.

Stop yelling at people. Nobody has to just believe you, an internet stranger, and they are absolutely entitled to ask questions.

You are not helping anyone, including your son by screaming BELIEVE ME I AM RIGHT AND THATS THAT.

You need to calm down, right now. If you want to help your son you are not going to by responding like this - and they will have all the ammunition they need if they see this thread. You are coming across as unreasonable and possibly not telling the truth.

And, having said all that, I believe you.

You are going to have to learn to talk the talk and walk the walk to get your son the help he needs. You have to control the way you speak, address them, address others.

You also need to try to make them like you, or at least not dislike you. It doesn't matter what "should" happen, this is how you make it happen. You cannot force anyone to do anything, you have no power except the power you can take and you don't get power in the system by shouting and carrying on as you have been in this thread.

I am telling you right now that I do believe you. And I am also telling you that if you go in there with this sort of response you will be brushed aside as a hysteric and drama queen.

Do you have someone who can advocate for you? Someone who can speak professionally to teachers and the school, who can proof read your emails and messages, and come with you to meetings? You could use some more professional support, someone to be by your side.

Your son needs you to do better than this.

Exactly. No wonder the school didn’t want to do an EHCP.