A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Have you asked your son to demonstrate to you the “smack” to your hand? My children often tell me someone has hit/pushed/punched them and then either through questions or asking them to demonstrate, we establish their interpretation isn’t quite how most adults would view the situation.

I didn't mean you, I just read the OPs post and didn't think about the quote history. Apologies.

You are absolutely right.

Yes these were my thoughts exactly so rather than type out I will add to yours please.

If schools have refused an EHCP that's because they don't believe there is a need for one. Having a DC with difficulties they were automatically referred. I remember parents at the gate asking me how had I managed to get an ECHP and my genuinely surprised response was I didn't manipulate one, I didn't want one because I would rather my DC didn't need one! Honestly they were foaming at the mouth because they were desperate to have their DC diagnosed for something but listening to their conversations of going home to watch Netflix, buying energy drinks and sweets. Yep it was a case of poor parenting and DC answering questions about life so first call was to invite the parents in for support. As a new parent at the school I was also invited and attended all sessions. They were all common sense, about nutrition, structure, boundaries, bed time routines.

What I observed in those sessions changed from
a belief that it must be so hard for parents from areas deemed as poverty to complete entitlement. From the moment we got in, just sat in chairs and when asked about a drink replied I'll have... I saw one TA rushing about getting the drinks and just stepped in to help, no one else did. One parent said can you open a window, rather than getting up and asking if anyone minded if I open this window.

Some chatted throughout the speaker, then time of getting into a circle they left in a crowd saying they had appointments. Those of us who stayed, it was a total of 2 hours with presentation and group get together. Clearly no interest of learning but showed faces to validate they had been there with evidence for SS of attendance. Those who did stay behind, it was beneficial for them to share thoughts, cried amd sought help.
The

"And actually hitting him? In the classroom with witnesses? Again, you get the odd one in any profession capable of abuse, but a teacher actually hitting a child at school is just unrealistic."

Are you serious? Do you work in education, or just like making assumptions based on what?

A teacher hitting a child at school is not likely a planned event. Instead, they might lost control of themselves and do it without thinking. It's a bad thing, but it can and does happen sometimes.

I cannot understand how you or anyone else can be so adamant that this didn't occur. If there was no video, or you were there, you cannot know.

True, the OP leads a distressingly chaotic life from the sound of her other threads.

If it’s a catholic school then a teacher wouldn’t hit/ hurt a child would they - according to how this catholic school sounds?
So the teacher didn’t do it and your son hasn’t lied.

How on earth can you say this?

@Beenwhereyouareagain

We all know it can happen and does in a very small amount of cases. This is why the LADO who is often a highly regarded, senior social worker is trained to look at the whole context.

That includes the perceptions of certain ND children, witnesses, home life of the child, capacity, misinterpretations, potential motives and on and on and on. There isn’t always a witness, in which case it often does go on the teachers file. That’s pretty devastating when allegations (malicious ones) have risen over the past few years. The stats are pretty awful, it’s a dodgy profession.

Thanks. You quoted my post therefore i assumed you perceived me to be a bully

Sorry my spelling and grammar awful in the above post. 💤

Funnily enough, OP's post sounded familiar. I am almost certain this is a variant on a previous post, because it has the detail of another child telling OP first about what happened in the classroom, before the OP's child comes out.

No words.

I thought it was a little girl who told you! How many children in the class have you recruited to your spy network? As others have said, some children's response when adults ask them about something is to make up a story because that is what they think the adult wants to hear, many children like to please adults.

Obviously it needs investigating and your son needs support and kindness in school.

But I think by far the most likely thing is what pps have mentioned about perception in many ND children. It's not lying as they genuinely believe it but it's not reality either. A 10 year old child with autism reported to me that another 10 year old had deliberately shoved her so hard into the lockers that she fell over. CCTV showed that the other child had brushed past her and not said sorry (didn't even look like she notiiced she'd done it). That lack of acknwledgment built itself up into something huge and malicious in the ND child's mind. An 8 year old with AuDHD told me that an older child had tried to strangle him in the woods. No CCTV there but the older pupil was baffled when spoken to about it. He said he'd touched him on the shoulder and tried to turn him around when telling him that he shouldn't be in that area at that time as he wasn't the right year group to be there. A 12 year old with autism and GDD told me that she'd burned her thighs badly the night before by spilling a kettle on them and had been in A and E all night. I reported it and her LSA said she hadn't at all, she had seen that storyline on TV last night. None of those children were lying - they were just seeing the world very differently to how it actually was.

If you maintain the attitude that every service provider is the enemy, you have a tough rode ahead. Don't be that parent. Foster a strong working partnership with the school. Your child will be happier for it.

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door

I would remove him from such a school. What a truly dreadful thing to teach a child.

This is very nitpicking. Yes, it's right that parents technically apply for assessments not EHCP, but most people describe applying for an assessment as applying for an EHCP. For what it's worth, the application can't be made by just anyone, though parents can certainly make one.

This feels quite simple to me. If a teacher touched your child in an inappropriate way and there are witnesses you go to the police not the school. They will visit the children at home with their parents present. The school can’t stop a police inquiry.

a very unique thing to teach…

Absolutely not, and the parents will of course welcome the police inquiry when complaints are made against their child by other pupils, or staff if relevant of course!

Good grief, don’t suggest wasting police time for this shitshow

Are you claiming that teachers never hit pupils? That's a very rash statement to make,
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj075pzl933o
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1e0n52ddzyo
https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2022-10-24/teacher-who-slapped-pupil-banned-from-classroom

It took me only a couple of minutes' googling to come up with those examples.

Well maybe people should learn to keep their hands to themselves then. There’s no legal reason to control a child by hitting them.

My DS was hit by a teacher, he hadn't even made it home from school when a mother of another child phoned me to tell me her DD came out of school very upset at the way the teacher shouted and hit my DS.

Of course the school denied it and the principal threatened to report me to social services for abuse in my home if I didn't drop it. He picked the wrong one to try that with and the gardai dealt with him. The teacher involved had a history of hitting pupils and the principal covered for him. The rest of the teachers were threatened to keep quiet but I did find out from someone who knew one of the teachers (not the abuser) that the staff were delighted I took on the principal and didn't back down despite the threats.

Not all children tell lies and not all adults tell the truth when it comes to things like this.

A police inquiry into allegations made against a 7 year old with probable ADHD and ASD? Don't be silly.