A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Lots of children make these things up when they are in trouble for something it’s a way of deflecting.
my own sd came out with corkers, should have had a whole school struck off with the nonsense she came out with

At this stage pending the out one of the investigation you need to try to stick to the facts especially while you are so angry and upset with the school and his teachers.. You believe what you son has told you and he had previous bad experiences which naturally you wish to protect him from.
You need to provide all the information you have including your son's information on what happened and the names of the other children who were present and observed the incident. Try not to speculate or lose your temper. Pursue the assessments of your son's needs separately, and if you can afford it, seek private expert help with your son's issues as a written independent expert report might help speed up the system and the state system has responsibilities here which increase once they are on notice of issues .

There is also support for home schooling if you feel that's best for him. What does your child's father do to help and support his son? Are you getting any support from your wider family? You sound very much alone with your son and I think you need support as well as him.

My 13 year old has asd and can certainly lie

When i picked him up from gymnastics age 7 i got called to one side. He had got into trouble and told them that if they told his parents his dad would lock him in his room without any dinner. He had never a) been locked in his room - there isn't a lock on the door for a start - and b) he has never not had dinner. We had a long chat in the car that day

I would be approaching the head teacher and asking for an investigation into what has potentially happened. Of course you should be believing your child until school can tell you otherwise. If the headteacher will not investigate then your next phone call is to Ofsted.

As for an EHCP, school do not issue them or assess for them. You can start the process yourself as a parent. Great information here on how to and your legal rights. Also the 2 term/£6k cycle is not true either so don't be fobbed off.

My youngest child who is now a teen, was punished for his behaviour at primary school (pre ASD diagnosis). He now has mental health issues and PTSD because of this and is under a psychiatrist.

💐

Thank you I was just about to say the same thing. From experience, even non verbal autistic children can find a way to lie when they want to!

But sometimes they don't.

I don't understand why 90% of the responses to a child coming out of school upset saying he's been hit are saying that he's probably lying.

Maybe he is but maybe he isn't, FFS it needs investigating either way.

Sometimes, teachers DO hit children. Sometimes, adults in positions of power are abusive.

Assuming children are probably lying is how that sort of thing goes under the radar.

And again, this child is 7, not 3. There's a difference.

Maybe he is lying or misinterpreting, but maybe he isn't. Grow ups have to do due diligence either way.

Your child absolutely does not have “the brain of a one year old”, OP.

Autistic children can and do lie. My DS1 has had us referred to social services after a particularly cracking lie.

It’s very naive of the same poster to suggest that you can just easily get a place at a special school and get transport funded too.

If the school really is telling pupils that “a lie is a key to the devil’s door” then I think I’d be reporting that to Ofsted.

I think regardless of the outcome you need to move him but research the school properly. Some mainstream schools are amazing with children with SEN (DSs school) some are absolutely shit (DDs primary and first secondary school).
The reason you need to move him is because whatever the outcome you don't have faith in that school. Once the trust is gone there's no point carrying on.
I do wonder if your son has exaggerated what happened because if he is autistic, these children struggle with lying but they can exaggerate. I'm not saying your son has but keep an open mind, although if you do move him I suppo
se it doesn't matter
If you move him you will have to work with the school. Don't accuse the teachers of bullying him without proof, if they remove him from the class find out why. Don't demand meetings because you instantly believe your son without even talking to the adult.

And if they are, that would be incredibly wrong on everyone involved; the staff, the other children, and the child himself.

a 1 year old has no sense of danger, so it would be dangerous for all involved.

Some teachers do bully children, and as a child you are baffled because you often don't recognise it for what it is. People shouldn't dismiss him as a liar. He sounds like a sweet boy who is used to being the one singled out.

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door

If this is true, I’d be extremely concerned about this and taking it further. Our children attended catholic primary school. And things like this just would never be said.

I’d also be amazed if a teacher risked her job by hitting a child. It seems incredibly unlikely.

Im not saying that nothing happened, although I find it hard to believe that any teacher would put their career on the line by smacking a child, but I think it’s incredibly naive to seriously think that a seven year old wouldn’t lie. I think the majority of children are quite accomplished liars long before this age and to insist that your child cant lie at the age of seven is ridiculous.

Reassuringly OP, I think this is the most likely explanation: that he hasn't lied outright and the teacher hasn't hit him, but he correctly interpreted her cross face and probably some small action to remove the blocks or similar and he "feels" struck by it.

However, I do think you are right to worry: it sounds as though he is struggling and not necessarily getting a lot of the right support. On the one hand, they seem to be saying he gets bullied "because of the way he is" and on the other hand denying he needs any sort of plan or assistance. There's a fundamental tension between those two positions.

You've got his back as his mum - and that is absolutely the right thing. But I think perhaps trying to refocus the discussion from the hitting - which might or might not have happened in our views as opposed to your DS' interpretation - and looking to discuss calmly your wider concerns with the school will help.

To me this sounds like another straw on a camel's back in a situation that generally isn't working, and focusing on the "hitting" will likely just result in an investigation that dismisses that. I think if I were you I'd pull back from that focus and aim for a more general discussion of your concerns about how they are handling him.

“The offence was committed outside school and did not involve children”.

Not a great advertisement for the teaching profession, but in the context of this thread it really doesn’t add anything to the discussion.

@strawberryandtomato

I am also glad LADO was involved when I had an allegation. They are complete professionals and cut through bullshit very quickly. Also, the school I was in was a very corrupt SEN, private school. LADO was very unimpressed by them.

This

People don’t believe teachers can mistreat kids. You won’t get much sympathy on Mumsnet.

contact the LADO.

dont expect anything to come if it. My very challenging SEN child was locked in a cupboard crying for a couple hours at school. The TA pulled me aside to tell me. My son told me. It was in the main staff corridor would have been multiple witnesses. School denied it. The TA was never even asked and was scared for her job anyway. I now home educate because he’s challenging I can see it being hard not to mistreat him when stretched as teachers are

Are there teachers who hit children? Of course there are. Could this have happened? Yes it could.
However I don’t under understand how this child with ‘a brain age of one’ is in a mainstream school, without a 1:1 or EHCP, and able to give a clear recount of what has happened and understands the concept of God, the Devil and lying.

Well given it would appear the OP, the child’s mother, has fibbed about so much on this thread - I think the child has probably learned from the best when it comes to being sketchy with the truth

The teacher called me to school to complain about my son ..he told a lie and won’t back down. Turned out, it was just after the holidays..what did you do in your summer holidays? We went to a zoo in Germany. Anyway, he’d told the class, we were getting a rhino on the farm. We already had wild boar, emu, reindeer. He was adamant we were going to have a rhino. And the teacher was furious he wouldn’t accept it wasn’t true. So I told her to go punish his father, because his dad had said, the rhino was his favourite animal and he would get one one day..and that we might even get one each. Son wasn’t lying..he’d believed his dad..he was 6.

The other son wrote an ‘essay’. ‘The holidays were boring, my dad was never home, my mum was always working. ‘ That was his essay.
The teacher believed it.
When I asked why he hadn’t written about his fortnight on a barge in Netherlands with the Scouts, the trips every day to museums, beaches, sea life centres, out in the boat with his Dad etc etc , he said it would have taken too long to write.

And the teacher was furious he wouldn’t accept it wasn’t true

your 6 year old teacher tang you “furious” that your child would not accept he wasn’t getting a rhino? @DearDenimEagle

Honestly , no much nonsense spouted on this thread

Report to the police as well as it’s assault

Blimey! They never said that at my catholic school. The queue would be a mile long.

Well, you’re not wrong there 😂

What will the police do?
They'll contact the HT who would tell them that the standard procedure is being followed, and the staff member is being investigated. If it's true, she'll be sacked.