Page 4 | A teacher smacked my child

Xmumof3xo · 2026-04-29T20:29:00+00:00

I really need some advice I’m in the uk My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment.. So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”. I have rang the school, I am really angry about this. The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation. After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them. I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

AmusedMember · Yesterday 22:55

Why would a teacher risk their career? This makes no sense.

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 22:56

AlcoholicAntibiotic · Yesterday 22:54

Some people with ASD are absolutely capable of lying.

Not saying OP’s child is lying - I think the most likely scenario is that the teacher touched his hand in some way and he’s interpreted it as a smack, but I wasn’t there and don’t know - but it’s not helpful to perpetuate stereotypes like this.

Show quote history

@rainbows40 so a child with ASN says.. I saw rainbow steal from the bank.. it’s true?

BurnoutBee · Yesterday 22:56

@rainbows40

Simply not true. I worked with one young lad who had ASD 1-1 due to his frequent allegations about other people. He thought he was a spy and on special missions as his special interest was investigative agents. He lied ALL the time and pathologically so. He was in year 4 at the time. Many years ago now but you absolutely cannot say kids with asd do not lie. Some don’t, some do.

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 22:57

TheLemonLemur · Yesterday 22:41

I am a teacher and cannot tell you how many times a parent has presented their child's version of an incident that is far removed from what actually happened.
Sometimes what a child has claimed has happened to them is something they have done themselves eg hit another. It is easy for an upset child to get muddled. Also believing in god and being sen don't mean they can't make things up or misremember

Edited

I was once investigated after a senior pupil informed her mother that I was bullying her.

I was questioned, the girl was questioned, every single pupil in the class was questioned.

We all [including the girl] told exactly the same story: the girl had been speaking instead of doing her work and I had said "Be quiet."

When the depute investigating the complaint told the mother that there was no case to answer, she refused to accept this: "My daughter never lies."

Driftingawaynow · Yesterday 22:57

Sunseansandandautism · Yesterday 22:12

You don’t apply for an ECHP. You apply for an ECHNA which is an assessment to see if the child/young person needs an ECHP. This can be done by anyone, the school, the school nurse or you can do it.

In regards to the teacher situation today, you need to allow the head to investigate it.

You can request the school make this application and they can refuse and in these cases parents have to do it themselves. The OP is not saying anything materially wrong.

Actupfishy · Yesterday 22:57

wow, what a pile on.

You don't have the facts yet OP but did the right thing in raising it to get to the bottom of it, wait on the outcome of the investigation and go from there x

Salsa2026 · Yesterday 22:58

purpleheartsandroses · Yesterday 21:48

None of this makes sense.

You dont "do" an EHCP, you request assessment for an EHCP from the council. It's not up to school. They cannot refuse or accept.

Multiple teachers are bullying him? You can get the odd bad egg in any profession, but multiple teachers bullying him is vanishingly unlikely.

And actually hitting him? In the classroom with witnesses? Again, you get the odd one in any profession capable of abuse, but a teacher actually hitting a child at school is just unrealistic. Behind closed doors, there's always potential for abuse, but in public?

You've already moved your child? How many times? From experience, the children who move schools multiple times because of behaviour and/or bullying have the same thing in common. And it's not the school, teachers or other pupils.

You've had 'so many meetings about the behaviour of the teachers'? What tf does that mean?

All children can and do lie. However, it may seem real/true to them at the time. Like pp said, it could be the teacher moved his hand and he's interpreted that as smacking. A teacher would have to be exceptionally stupid to hit a child in class.

All of this. This post does not make sense

arethereanyleftatall · Yesterday 22:58

It won’t help you to go into the school all defensive defending your son against everyone else lying.

what is most likely to have happened is that whilst he isn’t lying in the sense of deliberately making up an untruth; he has probably omitted loads of relevant context, like her moving his hand out of the way of falling blocks or something.

the children with autism that I teach often have a really strong sense of injustice of something against them, whilst completely ignoring/being oblivious to the things they do. But in a genuine way, they genuinely seem unable to process their part.

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 22:59

Xmumof3xo · Yesterday 22:05

excuse me I asked for help.
for a start, a little girl saw what happened with the teacher today. I have had other parents talk to me about what their child has seen and heard in class. And yes you can apply for a EHCP. The school would not do one for him the school does have power to do that as I spoke to sendiass and the school nurse. I have moved him once and made a complaint, they therefore apologised for what happened in his old school and the lack of duty to care. Don’t make out like my child is the problem, he’s a little boy who was bullied terribly and it was witnessed by an family member and friends who attended that school, my child was not the only one who left there due to bullying.

You always get one (or a lot!) of know it all twats on here.

Don't even entertain them. I'd be livid too if I were you. Gather as much eveidnece as you can. Was there not a TA present also? I thought that was mandatory now. A teacher made my son stand on a chair for half hour in the classroom in front of all his friends etc. Crying too.. I went batshit crazy at this. The teacher was the one who ended up apologising put it that way. I also do not and will not go with the assumption the teacher is always right. Because they are not. Hope little man's OK. And you x

IdaGlossop · Yesterday 23:01

Objectivity is your friend, OP. The reality is that you have an account from your child, and some third-hand reports from other parents. You don't know what happened in the classroom as you were not there. You will get far more out of the school by seeing yourself as in partnership with the them, with the aim of securing a good outcome for your child. What's coming across in your posts is that It's you and your child against the enemy school, an approach which won't help your child at all.

It would be a good idea for you to keep a written, dated record of events so that you have a contemporaneous account of what is happening, to draw on in conversations with school. You have mentioned 'horrific injuries' from a previous incident. Did you take photos of them? If there are marks from the attack your son says happened today, you need to take photos of them too as evidence.

Wishithadset · Yesterday 23:01

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 22:59

You always get one (or a lot!) of know it all twats on here.

Don't even entertain them. I'd be livid too if I were you. Gather as much eveidnece as you can. Was there not a TA present also? I thought that was mandatory now. A teacher made my son stand on a chair for half hour in the classroom in front of all his friends etc. Crying too.. I went batshit crazy at this. The teacher was the one who ended up apologising put it that way. I also do not and will not go with the assumption the teacher is always right. Because they are not. Hope little man's OK. And you x

Show quote history

I wonder why so many teachers hate their job now, having to deal with parents going “batshit crazy” at them. Not a great example to set your child.

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 23:01

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 22:59

You always get one (or a lot!) of know it all twats on here.

Don't even entertain them. I'd be livid too if I were you. Gather as much eveidnece as you can. Was there not a TA present also? I thought that was mandatory now. A teacher made my son stand on a chair for half hour in the classroom in front of all his friends etc. Crying too.. I went batshit crazy at this. The teacher was the one who ended up apologising put it that way. I also do not and will not go with the assumption the teacher is always right. Because they are not. Hope little man's OK. And you x

Show quote history

Yeah!!! Get the pitchfork ready…you are right in the number of twats on here!

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 23:03

Wishithadset · Yesterday 23:01

I wonder why so many teachers hate their job now, having to deal with parents going “batshit crazy” at them. Not a great example to set your child.

Show quote history

Particularly with the pathetic smug bullying The teacher was the one who ended up apologising put it that way

Salsa2026 · Yesterday 23:03

Soontobe60 · Yesterday 22:21

As a teacher I have met so many children whose parents say they don’t lie - however I’ve never actually met a child who doesn’t lie. All children do for many reasons.
If a child is being questioned, they may find it difficult to be honest as they know they could get into trouble so they lie.
If a parent is constantly asking a child ‘have you been bullied today’ every home time, they will often make something up because that’s what they think a parent wants to hear. The younger the child, the more likely it will happen.
Often, a brighter child will concoct more elaborate lies than less bright children.
Ask any child psychologist and they will confirm that children very often lie.

Show quote history

This

MayDaySunshinePlease · Yesterday 23:03

Sidebeforeself · Yesterday 22:36

“ a lie is the key to the devils door?!” I’d be removing him from the school for that shit alone!

Likewise!!

Original poster

Xmumof3xo · Yesterday 23:04

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 22:59

You always get one (or a lot!) of know it all twats on here.

Don't even entertain them. I'd be livid too if I were you. Gather as much eveidnece as you can. Was there not a TA present also? I thought that was mandatory now. A teacher made my son stand on a chair for half hour in the classroom in front of all his friends etc. Crying too.. I went batshit crazy at this. The teacher was the one who ended up apologising put it that way. I also do not and will not go with the assumption the teacher is always right. Because they are not. Hope little man's OK. And you x

Show quote history

I know yeah, no need for the attacks,
i have logged everything, he has a little friend and he tells me what has happened before my son comes out of school then my son tells me what happens

OP posts:

Januarybluesss · Yesterday 23:04

It’s always the teacher’s fault 🙄 kids never lie/exaggerate etc…

teachermum28 · Yesterday 23:04

Hi Op I can appreciate your concern. It is distressing as a parent to hear one perspective and be unknowing of the situation. However, perspective is key. Your child may have perceived this incident in a different way. They also may have not. At this point, you can’t tell until the school have investigated. I have been in similar situations both where my child’s perception and retelling of events have been absolutely correct and backed up by other children and staff, and also when his perception has been incorrect ( at home mainly) where I can see how he has interpreted something and perceives it very differently to adults. Please allow the school to investigate and follow procedure and then you can consider their findings.

rainbows40 · Yesterday 23:04

PullyDog · Yesterday 22:55

Wild!!

Absolutely not, it might be their truth coming in from something else, but they absolutely can and do lie.

And everybody dreams. You ever woken up sure something happened but know it didn't? You think about it, and your brain will find a way to make it 'your' truth.

FYI, everybody is capable of lying. No one is immune to that. Btw, that dress looks great on you. And yes, dinner was lovely.

Show quote history

Don't do that. Don't liken my reply to OP's post about her little boys traumatic experience to being "wild" or that his experience was dreamt up! That's just absurd.
Likening this little boy's upsetting experience to comparing a scenario where he has told little white lies in order to protect other people's feelings is utterly untrue and ridiculous and has absolutely no context to what has actually happened. Therefore your comment is completely unrelated and "wild"!

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 23:04

Wishithadset · Yesterday 23:01

I wonder why so many teachers hate their job now, having to deal with parents going “batshit crazy” at them. Not a great example to set your child.

Show quote history

Pipe down babe. Son wasn't there. Teacher admitted it was true. Headteacher too apologised to me. Some people let their positions go to there head. Shush

stichguru · Yesterday 23:04

Xmumof3xo · Yesterday 22:33

Ok, but why would my son just randomly come out of school at random upset, deregulated and make up this story, he is 7, what 7 year old would make up this in their head? Especially one with additional needs? Why would he actually lie? Like I said I asked for some help on what to do not a bollocking and people being unbelievably rude. Just think about it, my son sat in class with a brain age of a 1 year old and thought of every little detail 🤔

"with a brain age of a 1 year old"?

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 23:05

rainbows40 · Yesterday 22:54

Yes, you are correct, a milestone that "almost all children reach". In my experience those at this age with ASD do not lie. I'm not saying that none have, but certainly in my experience none have.

Show quote history

In my experience, they do lie. My experience comes from teaching pupils with ASD, from having family members with ASD and from being neurodivergent myself.

rainbows40 · Yesterday 23:05

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 22:56

@rainbows40 so a child with ASN says.. I saw rainbow steal from the bank.. it’s true?

Show quote history

What are you actually talking about?!

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 23:05

KellyAnne47 · Yesterday 23:04

Pipe down babe. Son wasn't there. Teacher admitted it was true. Headteacher too apologised to me. Some people let their positions go to there head. Shush

Show quote history

Do you work?

PoppinjayPolly · Yesterday 23:07

rainbows40 · Yesterday 23:05

What are you actually talking about?!

Show quote history

Well anything a child with asn says is true, so if one says you robbed a bank, it’s true isn’t it? My nephew has asn.. he doesn’t know you at all, but if he says you robbed a bank it’s true?