School wants my 10-year-old in nappies due to bowel issues

[CoffeeMama22]

My DD has been struggling with her bowels all her life, fully potty trained dry night and day. She is 10.
recently she has been off school due to a bowel obstruction. Awaiting surgical removal etc. due to over flow, pain etc she has been unable to attend school.

school has stated that I need to put my daughter in nappies, their words not mine!

shes 10 and never had any issues before.
im so angry right now, and really thinking about home schooling.

I have asked for medical reports from consultants etc, but for a 10 year old surely this would be embarrassing and backwards learning. I have personally asked my daughter and she has said no, but the school have said it’s effecting her education way too much. FYI I have been doing a lot of home Ed because the school haven’t sent her any school work yet.

They are valuing their attendance data over your daughter’s health. I suspect they think that if they push you hard enough, you will home school and be off their attendance records. You can put in a formal complaint to the governors about this.

Whilst it would be tempting to make complaints about the school (they are behaving outrageously), for your own, and your daughter’s, peace of mind perhaps you should just officially withdraw her and home school for the rest of the academic year.

If she’s 10 does she have a secondary place sorted already? You could inform them of the situation, and they can be prepared to provide the right support when she arrives.

I feel furious on your behalf!

Former teacher in charge of attendance here (note former, I was expected to treat families in a way I didn’t agree with): the school won’t send you work because it’s authorising absence. There’s no facility for kids to be signed off by GPs. DfE guidance says schools should accept GP evidence for absence but some schools refuse to. How quickly is the surgery going to happen? I would have thought that it’s an emergency? I think if school looks as if it’s going down the road of pursuing you for attendance, I would contact local authority. Is she eligible for section 19 tuition?

OP, was there attendance issues prior to her getting ill? CIN (child in need) seems rather over the top. Can you see her registers? Are they unauthorising absences? Usually a O code? Contact your local authority asap . Inclusion and access / children’s services.

Ask them if they’d expect a staff member with a bowel blockage and incontinence to wear a pad and turn up for work.

I'm guessing not?!

You need to write a factual and non emotional email.

On X date I informed school of Y. Your response was abc.

on X date you requested Y and my response was abc.

Mention you attended a meeting whilst your DD was hospitalised.

Ask them to clarify that they are expecting an unwell child to attend school whilst awaiting for an operation and they are ask them what medical experts they’ve consulted who advised the use of nappies as a solution.

The suggest you have a meeting to put a realistic plan in place to support your DD during this time.

The current situation is ridiculous and I’m sorry to hear you and DD are being treated so badly.

Idiots

Contact the helpline at the Equality and Human Rights Commission. This sounds very much like disability discrimination. I suspect if you threaten an application to the Special Educational Needs and Disability Tribunal on that account they will back off, as a finding of discrimination is a hell of a a black mark against a school.

Also contact the council whose responsibility it is to provide education for children out of school due to illness. Quote section 19 Education Act 21996 to them and ask them to put EOTAS (education other than at school) in place for your daughter as soon as possible.

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening for you and your daughter.

Are they suggesting you put her in nappies as a way of enabling her to return to school? If that's the case, then pads are the better option to deal with the overflow and seepage she's experiencing.

You don't have to keep her off school unless the pain is so severe she needs to stay home between appointments. Have the medical professionals said she needs to stay at home?

Is it this angle that the school are coming from? They've seen how long the biopsies will take to complete, so they're trying to find solutions to get her into school? What's the reason you've rejected a part time timetable?

If she's screaming from the pain all day every day, then you need to get her seen much more urgently and advocate for her. If she's got that low level pain in her bowel, which I know peaks and troughs, how are you managing this at home, and what can be done to support her managing this at school while you wait for the biopsy appointments?

Goodness, I can see why people home educate. I’d be fuming.

How dare they try to force her into a situation that they know will be humiliating for her??

Stand your ground. This is ableism.

They want her in nappies because of the leakage. They’re ignoring the pain , the fact that she is poorly and awaiting surgery , while still having further tests and biopsies. They’re focusing one the one symptom that has a “fix”.

Stop assuming - how rude.

There’s no facility for kids to be signed off by GPs.

There is in our county @SevenYellowHammers . We had an 8 year old signed off by his GP for 10 weeks last year. We were in shock when we got the note, but had to authorise the absence.

Is this an academy school by any chance?!

Re return to school post op tell them you'll take the hospital's advice.

Try contacting your local SENDIASS team they maybe able to offer help/ advice.
It may also be worth looking at section 19 support or if the situation is likely to ast a while you could see if hospital education is an option.

Also document what they do so ask for all requests to be via email and if they do things like ring all emergency contacts etc.. send a quick email outlining what happened and asking them to confirm.

Try not to panic if they do contact social services it might actually result.a.some support for.you.

You say she’s been struggling with her bowels all her life, but later on that she’s never had issues before?

That doesn’t mean that she always needed to wear nappies. Goodness.

Your local authority should have a SEND information and advice service (SENDIASS) who should be able to give you some support and advice, I would say this is disability discrimination by the school. Local authorities also all have to have a health related educational team ( Although they may be known as something else depending on where you are) and school should have been in touch with them to see what they can offer - they may be able to do some home tutoring whilst you are waiting.

The local authority will also have a Fair Access Protocal, and there will be a department who run this, so it would also be worth speaking to them. They are responsible for making sure everyone gets fair access to education- which at the moment isn't happening for your daughter.
I think you definitely need to turn this back on school, they have a duty to provide an education for your daughter and they aren't doing. Good luck with it all.

I didn’t say it did - but the information given by the OP is contradictory.

@CoffeeMama22 I think they suspect Hirschprung’s Disease? If she is diagnosed, aside from the fact they should be able to correct the issue with surgery, you’d have the Equality Act on your side as it’s a disability. My son has it, he’s still very young but I’ve already had issues with one childcare setting refusing to make reasonable adjustments. I hope your daughter gets the help she needs soon 💐

If you’re getting biopsies and your daughter is struggling to eliminate her stool -
it’s likely they are looking for Hirschsprung’s.

You say your child is continent but she seems to have extreme bowel issues and non attendance at school until this is resolved may not be the answer. Solutions won’t be quick if she has a congenital or genetic disorder.

Agree with recommendations with ERIC and BBUK support.

You may need a medical assessment for SEN support for her physical needs. She will need support in education for a long time. Her not going to school and your adversarial approach may not be in her best interests.

If you are doing enemas/ bowel clear outs is she then clean for school day length? Or is she soiling during that time?

There are solutions- kids with complex bowel needs can attend school. It’s not dirty or shameful. She likely has a condition you will need to manage over the long term.

If Hirschsprung’s and her bowel has been distended for 10 years she may need a stoma temporarily for example. Would you keep her off school for that or would you look at solutions?

I read that to be

The child has struggled with bowel issues all her life, but they've been manageable up until now

The child has never had any issues with health/attendance prior to this point

Welfare checks are standard when a child is off school over a period of time. Surely they should look at providing work for at home. Attending school for a short period, even in a different room and then teachers can go through anything that needs explaining. There are so many things they could be doing to support.