School wants my 10-year-old in nappies due to bowel issues

[CoffeeMama22]

My DD has been struggling with her bowels all her life, fully potty trained dry night and day. She is 10.
recently she has been off school due to a bowel obstruction. Awaiting surgical removal etc. due to over flow, pain etc she has been unable to attend school.

school has stated that I need to put my daughter in nappies, their words not mine!

shes 10 and never had any issues before.
im so angry right now, and really thinking about home schooling.

I have asked for medical reports from consultants etc, but for a 10 year old surely this would be embarrassing and backwards learning. I have personally asked my daughter and she has said no, but the school have said it’s effecting her education way too much. FYI I have been doing a lot of home Ed because the school haven’t sent her any school work yet.

School need to rethink this. Is it an Academy by any chance? It's probably easier and cheaper for them to blame you rather than make provision for her to be educated at home.
If you haven't already and if you want to, you could print out any advice you want to share re her condition and give them copies, along with letter from nurse / consultant etc. It might feel better to have written evidence to back you up if there is any sort of follow-up.

Can you afford to home school effectively/ As in, not to teach her yourself but to pay for a curriculum that she can access from home that won't leave her at a longer term educational disadvantage?

There are a lot of online providers now - if you haven't already, it might be worth taking a look.

It does sound like the school wants to off roll her so she is no longer their problem.

Was she happy there? Is it a much better school than all others locally? Because at this point, even if she is miraculously well very soon, relationships have totally broken down.

OP’s DC’s doctors wouldn’t suggest a biopsy if they didn’t think it was a possibility. I don’t know what makes you think you know better than her doctors. Hirschprung’s Disease varies wildly in severity.

Late diagnosis does happen even if less common. The child's medical team are clearly suspicious that this might be the case, hence the plan to biopsy during the procedure.

"Late diagnosis of Hirschsprung Disease is marked by a long-standing history of constipation with most patients having rectosigmoid disease"

https://www.jpedsurg.org/article/S0022-3468(23)00628-0/abstract

I’m sorry you and your dd are going through this.
Please don’t be afraid of your child been deemed a child in need. This literally means that your child has extra needs and is no reflection on your parenting at all sometimes of course it is because of poor parenting but not so in this case. Lots of children with disabilities/chronic illnesses are deemed children in need perhaps due to missing education or other reasons. This should result in all the professionals involved with your child meeting to see how best to support you and your child at this time. They could offer support around online schooling etc.
So don’t be afraid and take up any support offered.

No one on this thread is claiming that it's normal.

and the 10% who aren't diagnosed with it shortly after birth? There's a reason the doctors want a biopsy.

I'd put in a complaint to the school governors

This child hasn't been diagnosed with anything as yet - that's part of the problem. The first priority is to find out if there is a physical reason for fecal incontinence or if it is psychological.

Which is exactly what is happening with the biopsy she has coming up. It shouldn't be part of the problem because a diagnosis isn't required for reasonable adjustments or a child in too much pain to attend school.

The biopsy involves putting the child under a GA. It wouldn’t be something they’d suggest lightly. I suspect they’re fairly certain it’s not psychological if they’re considering that as a next step.

Our son is 6 and is poos and wets himself due to
silent (no symptoms) coeliac disease - i assume you have tested for that ?

we put a period pad in his pants every day
he tends to poo at the end of the day

surely the fact they have asked for it means she is soiling herself during the day and spending time dealing with it ?

poor poppet hope it all works out - its very stressful

They have asked because she isn't in school right now due to overflow and pain and they want her back to school.

The child is 10 and has been suffering for years.
As a parent, I do not understand why a biopsy was not carried out years ago.

Is there more you haven't told us ? Surely your child was in hospital -thats a good reason to postpone meeting ?
you told them she was in hospital at the meeting so why the ringing around ?

you need to get SEATTS to support you
why are they asking for nappies?

Do you have a child with bowel issues? It can take YEARS to get any kind of real support. It sounds like it has escalated recently with the bowel obstruction which is why the biopsy is now happening.

OP said shes under consultant. If it was as simple a fix am sure they would have said that.

Yes. That’s why the OP has provided medical details above along with confirming she’s provided all documentation to the school. It’s kind of the point of the thread 😊

You seem determined to make out this is OP’s fault. I wonder why.

Hischprung’s Disease is very rare. It’s 1/5000. It can be genetic or appear at random. It’s not well understood, as seems to be the case with a lot of bowel issues. My DC was thankfully diagnosed at three weeks old but even then I had to fight to get him into NICU, as his mother I just knew something wasn’t right. There are many, many cases though, particularly with children with short segment or ultra short segment HD, where they struggle with issues for years before they’re able to get a diagnosis. OP’s situation is not that uncommon and she deserves nothing but our sympathy and support.

I've got hEDS and had bowel issues all my life.. Usually obstructions and overflow, all these on here should cast their mind back to when they were at school, how many held their poo because it was too embarrassing to go at school.. Its a very personal problem and asking a girl to go with nappies is unacceptable in my mind

Absolutely dreadful response to your daughters problem. Empathy,, a toilet passage and some understanding plus a consistent go to adult would go a long way.

Well quite.

Write to your MP. Outline the situation, send them your consultant letters. Get them to contact the head teacher

@EwwPeople Not the OPs fault!! The NHS!! This hasn’t been taken seriously by the NHS.