My son can't get an apprenticeship and is getting violent and moody

[WiseHiker]

My son is strugling to get an apprenticeship at 20 and his mental health is deteriorating

Firstly he is not a bad kid never touched drugs or drink. He was bullied alot in school as he is autistic and he claims because of his hight however despite this he got ok gcses (6s and 7s)

And tried alevels however dropped out because of further bullying and because he found the course uninteresting. He then spent around 2 years travelling to see his then girlfriend from Bournemouth

At 18 they broke up and he did a pt qualification at level 2, did boxing and got a part time job at a pub after alot of difficulty. However he quickly spiraled into an eating disorder and decided he can't continue down the gym Instructing route.

Since turning 19 he's been looking to get an apprenticeship in "anything not behind a desk that pays well" however has had no joy with the exception of an assessment centre .after being told he didn't get the job because his team lost after no one listened to him. he punched one of the people in his team outside the event out of frustration. I have since gotten him anger management and told him this is not acceptable.

He is now 20 still looking for one, he has started driving lessons to aid in this however he has become even more moody and withdrawn. He barely sees his friends as they are all working 9 to 5 and he works evenings and weekends. Compounding this I believe could be that his dad is terminally ill with hypertension of the heart.
Furthermore earlier this year he started seeing a new girl who within 3 month slept with one of his mates. Currently all he does is apply for jobs and work out for an unhealthy amount of time . I'm not sure how to help him.

We have looked in surrounding towns but most warehouses are a fair distance from the station e.g 2 miles

He applied and heard nothing

Well they're not calling him Quasimodo for nothing!

You can take a bicycle on a train. Warehouses aren't likely to be 9-5 when you couldn't fit a bicycle on with all the people. You can also get folding ones.

He won't last a day in a warehouse if he cries when people shout and can't take people making fun of him.

@Velmythats not entirely true about not being able to have a good job with a conviction. A huge amount of jobs don’t ask about convictions or do DBS checks. And, once it’s spent, they generally don’t affect you much unless it’s one of the big ones that gets you barred from various professions.

@Velmythats not entirely true about not being able to have a good job with a conviction. A huge amount of jobs don’t ask about convictions or do DBS checks. And, once it’s spent, they generally don’t affect you much unless it’s one of the big ones that gets you barred from various professions.

Some big companies (like Amazon) provide staff buses.
Would he be able to cope with that?

Supermarkets ask you to declare criminal convictions for shelf stacking jobs.

Even common assault, depending on the sentence, won't become spent for 5-10 years. So no, someone convicted of such won't be seeing a good job for a long time.

And while you're not required to declare a conviction once it's spent, when you're asked to explain the gap in your CV and your only (honest) response is...

"I was in prison...one of my co-workers was mucking about and we didn't finish our work, so I waited for him outside in the carpark and battered him. Mummy said he deserved it though".

...how do you think that will go down?

@WiseHiker I'm not sure if this link has already been shared with you, but it gives links to free courses for skills shortages in the economy and (at the bottom of the page) also links about careers advice for young people like your son who haven't yet found the right path: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/free-courses-for-jobs

@reflectiv thank you

This man punched a colleague in the face
and the reason for that is that “no one was listening to him”

He is kicking off at home too

If wouldn’t want this man working near me. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want him near my children.

OP, any update?

Why would she come back and give you an update when you've been so unsupportive?

He has no criminal record (yet) so still has the chance to turn things around with his mum's help. She's had some good advice on this thread in between the abuse. Don't kick her while she's down.

Fair point

but seriously, this is a violent man

and I actually find his reasoning for the punching in the face of a colleague very telling and disturbing.

He did it because “no body was listening to him” and “he was right”

you have been advising ways for him to get work including joining the armed forces @reflectiv which I find utterly irresponsible

Nope, I've been here for years but I change my user name regularly. Why are you stalking?

Oh don’t be so dramatic 😆

you dedicated yourself to the thread (advising this violent adult man to join the armed forces for crimes sake!)

and then replied within a minute of me posting on a month old post

I was curious
and the result was curious
takes all of… 5 seconds?

You quoted me so I got an alert.

Why are you reviving a thread that hasn't been posted to for 10 days when you have nothing useful to contribute?

Because researching apprenticeships for my nephew

and wow… you really do have this violent man’s back don’t you

No, I lost interest in the thread some time ago, but you jumped on and started attacking me.

If you were researching apprenticeships you clearly got distracted. 🤔

You were the very last poster

I don’t think you “lost interest”

Anyhoo…. I just hope this violent man doesnt even consider the armed forces. He probably has a criminal record if his (ex) employer or assaulted colleague reported him

Indeed

this thread kind of sticks out!

The OP’s very thread title would indicate the violence is alive and kicking

When did the violence start @WiseHiker ?

Stupid question but how is he coping with your Dh diagnosis?

It is worth tackling the underlying causes first before looking for work else it won’t change. He will always have these struggles.