My son can't get an apprenticeship and is getting violent and moody

[WiseHiker]

My son is strugling to get an apprenticeship at 20 and his mental health is deteriorating

Firstly he is not a bad kid never touched drugs or drink. He was bullied alot in school as he is autistic and he claims because of his hight however despite this he got ok gcses (6s and 7s)

And tried alevels however dropped out because of further bullying and because he found the course uninteresting. He then spent around 2 years travelling to see his then girlfriend from Bournemouth

At 18 they broke up and he did a pt qualification at level 2, did boxing and got a part time job at a pub after alot of difficulty. However he quickly spiraled into an eating disorder and decided he can't continue down the gym Instructing route.

Since turning 19 he's been looking to get an apprenticeship in "anything not behind a desk that pays well" however has had no joy with the exception of an assessment centre .after being told he didn't get the job because his team lost after no one listened to him. he punched one of the people in his team outside the event out of frustration. I have since gotten him anger management and told him this is not acceptable.

He is now 20 still looking for one, he has started driving lessons to aid in this however he has become even more moody and withdrawn. He barely sees his friends as they are all working 9 to 5 and he works evenings and weekends. Compounding this I believe could be that his dad is terminally ill with hypertension of the heart.
Furthermore earlier this year he started seeing a new girl who within 3 month slept with one of his mates. Currently all he does is apply for jobs and work out for an unhealthy amount of time . I'm not sure how to help him.

Well that has caused problems in motivation for people i have known.
whats the plan to come off it

Unfortunately if he's in that mindset I'm not sure what you can do 🙁

ADs help with motivation and he shouldn't get off it, he actually needs fritter therapy and perhaps to try a different medication but if it stbalisies his previous mood and helps with anger then he shouldn't get off it. He may need to try another AD, but I think he'll decline very quickly without it and it's not like there always needs to be a plan to get off medication if it's helping you work etc and live your life.

None at the moment we have upped it due to circumstances he's in

And he's getting screened for adhd

He's applied for nearly 200 jobs that are entry level

That's a positive thing - has he already be referred? Is he on the waitlist already? I'd also inquire about changing the antidepressant he's one - another one might work better for him and perhaps with ADHD medication and mood stabilisers he could get a lot better. I still think he needs to re-refered to eating disorder services and ask the GP for a referral to DBT, I know hrs starting cbt but he can be referedd for dbt at the same time (will be good for emotional regulation and his anger) - then he can at least be om the waitlist for dbt.

I think it's perfectly fine for him to want a career - he's not too old for college or A-levels or a Btec there's no such thing as too old. Many people go back to education later in life and that's fine as long as he's willing to work hard and sometimes study even if it's a drag and it's tiring the results will be worth it. If he can understand this, then he should be willing to do night work/UC/part time or weekend work whilst doing college. Look for colleges a little bit further away and also sign up now - even if he'll have to wait a year - if he signs up now then this time next year he can be looking to start. Rather than looking again in a year and then they won't have anything for Sep 2026 and the next slots will be Sep 2027. He'll just go in a circle otherwise.

Applications open in November I'll get him to apply

What would you recommend he does with this year

Can't he stay in his pub job?
Up his hours maybe?
Edit : sorry he left that didn't he?
Well he needs to stay with the waiter job for now.

They just cut his hours to once a week

The armed forces, many will teach a skill that he can carry with him afterwards

Is that lack of trade or (I hate to say it) lack of his enthusiasm for the job?

He's considering this the main thing putting him off is being yelled at he's very sensitive

Are there other jobs he could do within the pub?
He needs to look keen and enthusiastic to the boss though.

Lack of business he makes decent money in tips and is mentioned frequently on their trip advisor

They are laying people off left and right since a new gm took over

I think he would enjoy being able to train plus they have boxing classes which he enjoyed it's just his sensitivity and he is an easy mark for bulling

That’s just tough though. Most entry level jobs will be nmw or living wage if he is lucky. Frankly he can’t afford to be picky about it. It would be far easier to get a better job while he is already working to gain experience. Dd is now a postgrad and the seasonal jobs she has done rarely pay more than that. Why does he assume his colleagues would be a “bad crowd” why not others looking to better themselves too.

I'm confused - I thought he was working in a pub. Where do the boxing classes come in to it?

My bad I ment that to the guy saying armed forces

Because he fears being bullied it happens everywhere he goes even his current job the old gm stepped in and stopped it

What do you think is the best thing for him to do OP?

Oh ok 🙂

I genuinely don't know with everything going on with his dad's illness and him being this volatile he want to get a shot at life but feels like no one's giving him a chance even the colleges ik that's not how it is but it's how he sees it