If you have a child who works their socks off at school and diligently follows the rules …..

[RudsyFarmer]

Never causes trouble, listens in lessons, is kind and thoughtful. Has your child ever received any acknowledgment, reward, praise for this from the school?
i know this has been discussed on here many times but I’d love a quick straw poll.

Thank you 💐

Yes

Yes

Not publicly. Teachers has commented. He would hate it tho if he was recognized in assembly

Yes

Was regularly overlooked in Primary.
Regularly awarded on Secondary so far.

Yes

Nope, bugger all, never got anything despite achieving mostly 9’s at GCSE and all A star at A level, never late once, no detentions, etc, he was basically invisible as he behaved, did his work, etc. Despite him getting the best scores in some classes, the prizes etc were always given to the pupils who’d improved the most etc., no prizes nor recognition for working consistently at the top level. Very annoying and we always felt so sad for him at prize giving.

My school has a scheme to reward exactly these pupils on a weekly basis.

Yes

Not in primary, but they did in secondary.

In end of year report yes, no actual certificate or anything through the year

He got a good role in the year 4 play and a postcard in year 9.

Yes. Tho it took a while at junior school. But at secondary DD was "best girl" in the form on two occasions.

Verbally praised in parent's evening sessions, no prizes but not sure there's been many of those (yr9) so far. The top readers get invited to a chocolate party in the library every year, he's been to those.

Yes

I’ve rattled this scenario around my head and thought that if the child was a natural high achiever from the start and sailed through their academics then I could almost understand them getting overlooked.

But, in our case this is a child who has worked their way from bottom of the class with a SENCO involved, to somewhere around the top purely on their own effort and dedication to their studies. And still zero acknowledgment or recognition of the effort when I thought this was exactly the thing we knew to praise.

Once again I’m scraping around to try and find a way to positively spin things so their confidence isn’t shot to pieces and they don’t give up when they’re achieved so much. I’m frustrated.

Same experience here.

My DS is adopted and has also worked his way up from being the "naughty kid" that everyone avoided in primary to regularly getting awards and recognition in Secondary.

He gets very embarrassed and prefers to just be left to it

Why don’t you bring it up with the teacher(s)? I am a teacher and honestly try to reward my students as often and as fairly as I can, but sometimes I do get it wrong and overlook somebody who deserves or needs praise. A friendly email from a parent has nudged me to remember certain students in the past.

That’s a sweet idea but I promise you it wouldn’t be received well. The last time I enquired about something it was met with an extremely hostile response.

We’re nearly done with primary now so hopefully the next school might be more positive. I know I’ll feel better about it tomorrow but this evening I’m just exhausted with it all.

Yes but then even if they didn't they would just be doing what they are meant to be doing anyway that is the point of school in the first place

Completely understand your frustration OP. We had someone who experienced severe bullying to the extent that they were removed from primary school, who then had the courage to start secondary school when friendless and initially unsupported by teaching staff. Sat by themselves every break, always friendly and obliging but always overlooked

They overcame all this , made decent friendships from Year Nine and achieved both 100% attendance and 8s and 9s in every GCSE. Very rarely acknowledged by teaching staff until Year 11 and only then as some anonymous asset to the school. The odd £5 Amazon voucher handed out which was instantly demeaned by misbehaving children also being encouraged with one

The rewards were not worth having anyway, so instead the child was empathised with and treated extravagantly by their parents as recognition. All they got for being the only pupil with 100% attendance was some poxy misprinted certificate and another very low value voucher, so tbh not worth the effort! Your child sounds absolutely amazing and I'm sure will understand the unfairness of it all, and happily choose family oriented rewards with their lovely and supportive parent(s) instead

Snap

Yes

He mostly flies under the radar of not being either outstandingly good, or dreadfully bad.

But he absolutely loves history and won a prize for it when he left middle school. He's been at High School just over a year, and we've had a couple of messages his the messaging app they use, praising good effort/great work.

They are in my school. Daily points, weekly assembly and rewards days.