Private school education - Is it really worth it?

[Mememe1234]

My husband and I earn a good living which is well above the average however we both come from humble beginnings. I was raised by a single mum so money was always tight and my husband was raised by mum and dad who worked in admin and as a tradesman. This means that we have always had limited financial means.

However now as adults we have worked incredibly hard to improve our financial situation and both degree, master degree education, living in an expensive part of the UK etc... Some of our neighbors come from vastly different backgrounds to us, private school educated, parents with high profile jobs etc...

Now my neighbor and i have this on-going conversation about private school. She has no doubt that her only son will go to private school whilst my eldest son is currently in state school. I'm pro state school however i have looked into private. We could afford it but it would mean using a huge proportion of our income etc... We also have two kids so having 1 would be a lot more affordable.

For anyone who has kids in private school, what is the reason you chose it? I know its got smaller classes etc but i could hire a private tutor instead which would be even more focused. I personally benefitted more from private tutoring when a kid as large group setting was challenging when i wanted to ask a specific question and be heard as I've always been more introverted.

The cost of private school is £24k a year. With two kids its £50k including lunch and doesn't even include summer holidays, inset days, half terms etc... The thought of spending that much money makes me feel a bit sick.

Now tell me is it worth it?

Seems pretty awful to me when those paying for their child’s education gleefully document the negatives that the children of thE less wealthy have to put up with. Sickening. Justifying your outlay at others expense. You obviously don’t enloy hearing any positives about state education.

I really resent the poster with the long name implying that by not going private we do not value education.

Let me repeat again, a lot of parents sent their children to private were from state school and achieved professionally, most of them value the importance of the good education. If you think that imply people who dont send children to private does not value education then I think some English GCSE course is needed.

No glee here at all. I find it heartbreaking that so many kids have a poor experience, including children of close family and friends I will continue to vote for whichever party has the best chance of improving state education (and that's not just about money, though a lot of it is). I had a wonderful state education myself. But on a thread specifically asking whether private education is worth it, it would be odd not to give the reasons for making the decisions we have.

ODFOD.
You are right, I don't have to justify my choices to anyone. I am merely explaining why we chose private over state. If we had good state schools we would probably not have gone down the private route.
You are assuming you know my attitudes etc when you have zero clue.
State schools are not homogeneously better or worse than private schools, it is a postcode lottery.
No-one on here is gleefully documenting the advantages private schools give because that it is blatantly obvious that 3-4 X the budget per child per school will bring advantages. Is the system fair ? No of course it isn't and the gap is only getting wider thanks to Tory lack of investment and education policies which focus purely on passing tests.

Too many people confuse a good education with SATs scores/Oxbridge admission. I went to state schools, got top marks, admission to a very respected university, excellent job etc. Looks good on paper.
My education was abysmal. focussed on scores only, nothing beyond teaching to the test. i hated every single day. I’m not putting my kids through that.
What I want from a school

• decent academics - a bit above average
• teachers being treated well - good for my kids in turn. Absolutely key, unhappy teachers won’t be able to fully engage children
• enough adults in the room to provide support for all
• a lot if sports, and loads of options. all kids are sporty if you can find their strength. in the middle of an obesity epidemic, this is key for me
• loads of arts - performing arts, graphic design, sculpture , …. everybody is creative, its about finding the medium
• music - see above

Life is so much more than academic pressure! I could get decent academics are local state, but not the rest.

Why am I leapt on when I try to say we had have had a positive experience then? Look at yourselves. And using the ODFOD slur tells me all I need to know about you.

@Alphabeta123 precisely

Because you say "rubbish" about people who have had different experiences to you.

How many people in public life - sport (apart from football), acting, music, let alone politics, law, media generally - went to comps? Go figure.

I doubt that anyone who had their DC privately educated is going to regret their choice, so you will always get parents of privately educated DC saying is was the best thing ever.

We were very fortunate that both state schools DD went to were very good. Her primary school offered loads of extra curricular activities, and had an award winning orchestra who ended up playing in the Albert Hall.

Her secondary school produced a lot of very musical young people who sing in a youth choir currently ranked 5th in the world. One ex pupil has appeared on The Voice and the youth choir appeared on BGT.

She has a few privately educated friends, all of whom are lovely and not at all stuck up or full of their own sense of privilege.

I was privately educated. If I could afford it, I'd send my kids private, but I can't so I don't!

My experience was around 30 years ago so things might've changed. And I think it also depends on the school.
I feel I am more well rounded from being there. More equipped to deal with professional office life eg automatically knowing how to write professional letters. My exH always used to take the piss out of my school saying he'd never known so many gay people come from one school year. My answer was that I suspect there was an equal amount of gay people at his comp but possibly they didn't feel comfortable to come out.
It's hard to put my finger on why I feel more rounded as a whole, as I've never had a state school experience. But I loved it and it totally worked for me. Didn't work for my sister who hated it.

I went to a "normal" private grammar, not a public school. I think this makes a difference too. One of my dearest friends went to a public school but she's obsessed with money and is a raging snob.

If you choose the right school I think it's worth it 100%

I really resent the poster with the long name implying that by not going private we do not value education. That’s extremely offensive. I hope you don’t actually say that to anyone in real life.

On every thread about state v private education you post about privately educated children being a bubble of privilege and wealth implying that the parents must be snobs to go for that option. That’s also pretty offensive.

Then you say you’re concerned about the impact of your dd’s privately educated friends I’m amazed you allow her to mix with such ghastly stuck up children, what’s wrong with her friends from her state school?

Dunno she’s 14 and chooses her own mates. They are lovely girls. But totally in a bubble. How can you even debate they live in a bubble?! That’s the whole point of paying isn’t it! I’d want my money back otherwise.

I said rubbish in response to a poster making sweeping statements about state education. Which frankly I have had said to my face for years as Dh and I in the City were often the only state educated ones in a sea of the privately educated who assumed we were privately educated too and would say what they really think about state schools which was often pretty bad so I speak up now 🙄

I know none of you want to hear that many state schools are quite good really.

Being in a bubble doesn’t mean stuck up. It means moving in a particular world and having little exposure to those outside your demographic. My friends who privately educate freely say this is the case for their kids and I see it with dds friends. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Quite nice really.

The problem is that every school is different.
Also, people talking about the extra curriculars at their private school being so much better than the state school down the road....of COURSE they are! You're paying mega bucks-it would be scandalous if they weren't.

Bullying is another point. I've had a lot to do with a lot of schools over the years and I really don't think there's much difference between the sectors. Private schools do have the option of immediate expulsion, which is sometimes a solution. But it didn't help a child I know who was relentlessly and viciously bullied through his prep and public school. There are shit kids and shit teachers and shit school management everywhere.

Where did I ever say stuck up? Most of my friends are privately educated. The “values education” dig is nasty. Thankfully none of our lovely friends and family who privately educate wound ever say anything knobbish like that.

How is it at others' expense? If anything, sending kids to private school frees up funding for the state sector (fee paying parents don't get a tax rebate for not taking up a state school place).

Thankfully none of our lovely friends and family who privately educate wound ever say anything knobbish like that.

They wouldn’t say it in front of you - do you criticise them to their faces about using private education?
However they must have reasons for using private schools or they wouldn’t spend all that money.

The thread is talking about the worth of private education. Worth is more refer to monetary cost which value is more broader concept.

If someone think in general the people who sent their kids to private school does not value education then I don't understand why they give up free education and pay extra.