Private school education - Is it really worth it?

[Mememe1234]

My husband and I earn a good living which is well above the average however we both come from humble beginnings. I was raised by a single mum so money was always tight and my husband was raised by mum and dad who worked in admin and as a tradesman. This means that we have always had limited financial means.

However now as adults we have worked incredibly hard to improve our financial situation and both degree, master degree education, living in an expensive part of the UK etc... Some of our neighbors come from vastly different backgrounds to us, private school educated, parents with high profile jobs etc...

Now my neighbor and i have this on-going conversation about private school. She has no doubt that her only son will go to private school whilst my eldest son is currently in state school. I'm pro state school however i have looked into private. We could afford it but it would mean using a huge proportion of our income etc... We also have two kids so having 1 would be a lot more affordable.

For anyone who has kids in private school, what is the reason you chose it? I know its got smaller classes etc but i could hire a private tutor instead which would be even more focused. I personally benefitted more from private tutoring when a kid as large group setting was challenging when i wanted to ask a specific question and be heard as I've always been more introverted.

The cost of private school is £24k a year. With two kids its £50k including lunch and doesn't even include summer holidays, inset days, half terms etc... The thought of spending that much money makes me feel a bit sick.

Now tell me is it worth it?

Presume same way as last time - year on year increase state school spend if budgets allow.

Some of the worst pressures on school budgets have come from e.g. pension, employer's NI or pay award costs not being fully covered.

@Alphabeta123 No that's not ethical either, however we didn't do that.

We looked at our catchment schools when the time came and made our decision on that basis.

Interestingly when we moved to our house the secondary catchment school wasn't doing all that well. Happily when the time came to send the DC it had improved and shed its poor reputation.

It's all very well eulogising about extra curricular activities available in private education, but not all children are sporty, play a musical instrument or are interested in what the school has to offer.

Do parents who can afford it send their DC to private schools because of the extra curriculars or in spite of them?

@RampantIvy my son wasn't sporty at all - so all that sport would have got on his wick! People say it on here as almost a boast ' look what a fit healthy sporty family we have' - great if you like sport- but it's really not a given in all children - (or adults)

Partly because of them:

• Games lessons every day. For me this is important because teenage years are when many girls give up sports so to be in an environment that values physical exercise every day is a positive
• Amazing drama facilities and productions from Yr 7 through to Yr 13 where everyone can participate
• strong music provision with 2+ instruments available to each child a school orchestra and coming together as a school to sing/do music several times a week
• lessons on public speaking and opportunities throughout the year to practice these skills
• a club for my DDs hobby so she can participate at a national level through the school's programme
• vast range of other interests catered for from chess to baking to debating skills

All of the above are taught by subject specialists rather than the PE teacher covering a music lesson due to not having a full time music specialist etc. State schools are having to cut these "non-essential" areas due to budgets and I wanted DD to have the opportunity to learn that education isn't just about passing exams!

In our case it was definitely because of the extra curriculars (among other things) rather than in spite of them. Not so much the sport for us, but more the music and drama. In some ways, actually, I think that the extra curriculars are as much if not more of a benefit for the kids who aren't really really keen, as those kids would probably be driven to pursue their interest outside school anyway. I think it's particularly beneficial for kids who are happy to do extra curricular activities but don't have a burning passion for anything in particular. In a lot of independent schools, it's absolutely the norm to have music lessons, play in sports matches etc, so everyone just gets involved. One of my kids is not remotely talented in sports, and there's no way he would volunteer to go to an external sports club after school, but he still does lots of sport in school, because everyone does, and he really enjoys it as a change from academic lessons Whereas my sportier son would probably have pursued his main sport outside school anyway. Of course if a child really really hates sport, music etc, then it's not so great.

First thing to consider is can you afford to commit £50,000 per year for the next 13 years?

If you can then how will going private benefit your children , what will it give them that state won't?

What else could you do with the money that would benefit the family?

Do you have a GOOD private school locally as now all private schools are good?

@JamieFrasersfurrysporran not all fees are that much, DDs are 17K per year and we started her in Yr 7 giving us 7 years to save up. Many parents use this model

Yes I understand that, however op had stated that the fees were £50

@RampantIvy agree with @tobyj that it is actually the kids that are not into sports/art/music that benefit the most from private school extracurriculars. It ensures my children are well rounded, teaches them to have a go even when it’s not their thing, and introduces them to new things that at first glance they wouldn’t sign up for of their own accord. Neither of mine are sporty - one absolutely hates sport - but they have a fab PE teacher who makes it all fun and motivates them to build new skills. They will never be sporty, but in addition to being much fitter than if left to their own devices, have found some elements in the lessons that they actually rather enjoy and will do outside of school for fun.

but they have a fab PE teacher who makes it all fun and motivates them to build new skills

That would have been good for DD. The PE teachers at her school were Nazis who were very unsupportive of the non sporty pupils.

50k is for two kids. Not 1

I would only consider from secondary school so it’ll be about 7 years at 50k a year. But that’s not including holidays and extras.
I can think of 100s or other ways to spend that money instead 😅
we have several outstanding secondary schools close by but I’m not sure we will get in as it varies by year. Last year we were outside of catchment and this year if my son was 11 he would get in. If he got into that school I wouldn’t do private. My concern is he gets the other school that’s a bit further away that renowned for being rough and police are called often. This worries me as even myself growing up I’d never witnessed any major crime. My husband thinks I’ve had a shielded upbringing but I’m not from the uk and where I’m from the crime rate is low.
Im just going to have to see what school my eldest gets then make a call as it’s too far away now if we have to put them in private

Depends. if the state schools near you are good. Our local one is very good, ds1 did well there. Pastoral care is good, kids seem happy, quite strict. Loads of Oxbridge success, very supported. Loads of kids get 3 x A*. That's good enough for me.

My eldest is really sporty. I have a feeling that my youngest will be more creative and musical. My eldest is into building stuff. Maths etc… my eldest hated stage school but will see if my youngest likes it as he loves role playing. It’s interesting to see what the private schools offer though.
The schools I went to outside of the uk were awful compared to even the average state school in terms of activities. I find it great that schools in the uk offer so much choice of extra curricular activities

The local state school that I’m hoping my son gets into is ofsted outstanding and is a specialist music school too.
my son plays football there and the facilities are great. I just worry he won’t get in 😞

@Mememe1234 but only SOME state schools offer great extra-curricular activities and those are exactly the things that schools are cutting down on due to budgets issues and not having enough staff.
You need to look at what suits your DC the best by the time they are ready however if you are even contemplating private then I would start putting money aside now. If you eventually decide not to then you can put that money to other use.

Ofsted ratings often mean nothing. There are terrible schools which are rated Outstanding and fantastic schools which are Requires Improvement. Ofsted is only 1 way of measuring the worth of a school and honestly you can't make that decision until you visit the schools, talk to teachers + students, look at their data/destinations etc.

For more than 1 kids, do you have the time and extra efforts by doing the DIY supplement model to support all those extra curricular activities at the same time? Even one parent working at part time or not working will be struggle.

@Mememe1234 it's a tough decision, we did it because DS had been at an international school for primary and when we came home we thought the private school was a better fit. He was happy and is starting Uni in September so I guess it worked out but then it could have worked out just as well in state, we will never know. Only my bank balance can tell the difference 😂🥴

Bear in mind that good private schools are also often hard to get into. Something to keep in mind if you're even still considering private secondary by the time you get to that stage. You can't wait to see if your son will get into your preferred state school and then apply to private if he doesn't (not if you want a good chance of getting into a good private school). You'd be best to do both application processes simultaneously and then turn down the private offers if you get the state place you want.

I have two DC. Both went to state primary initially. Then that primary went into Ofsted special measures and had numerous teachers resign in the same month. It was v sad watching an excellent school go downhill over a period of years after a very good head teacher left.

DC2 then went to private primary for years 5 & 6. He loved it, I loved it. The extracurricular experiences were excellent, the education was excellent. I felt every penny was worth it, he'd been coasting at previous school and suddenly here he was fulfilling his potential and having a fantastic time in classes and sports, drama and music clubs.

Went to look at private secondaries and none of the local ones stood out to me as being worth the money or right for my child, and we were lucky to be in a catchment for a very excellent state secondary. So he went to state secondary and is on track for a great set of GCSE results and about to go to a selective grammar for A levels.

So I second what someone said earlier in the thread about it being more about the particular school rather than all private schools being better or worth it. A friend of mine with DC at a local private secondary has shared experiences that make me feel the school wasn't worth the money in my opinion.

A. Depends a lot on the school. Eton, maybe. The private school I went to was really small - no useful job connections there! Though I had a great time, got good grades & made some wonderful friends.

I think if money is no object (as in if you lost the equivalent of the annual fees you wouldn’t notice) then a decent private school is almost always better. However, for those for whom £50K per annum out of taxed income is quite a lot of money, it’s important to weigh up the relevant benefits of all the possible schools and what you will be able to do for your children/family with the money you will save on fees if you go for the state option (extra-curriculars, tutoring, holidays, uni fees, house deposits etc.).

We are in London and DC1 and 2 are at the local Ofsted outstanding primary. The school is brilliant at many things and has a great range of extra-curricular clubs (various sports, coding, chess, science, art, capoeira etc.) but is not so hot at music. I work PT and flexibly and this enables my DC to do multiple extra-curricular activities after school i.e. between 3 and 6pm (this could include music if they wanted but sadly they both appear to be tone deaf!). However, half the class at most of these activities are from the local private schools - so those parents are paying fees and then paying for the same extra-curriculars anyway! I understand from speaking to parents with DCs at these private schools that they also tutor extensively out of school for senior entrance exams, except those who are in an all-through school they are happy with.

So in my experience the parents at the independent schools are paying for smaller class sizes and to avoid “challenging” classmates, rather than top notch academics and a brilliant range of extra-curricular options. However, I appreciate that if you live rurally it is a million times easier to have everything on-site, plus school fees are likely cheaper than in London, and this tips the balance in favour of the independent school. I will also be honest and say that we are considering private for secondary as our local state secondary options are not nearly as good as the primaries.

However, half the class at most of these activities are from the local private schools - so those parents are paying fees and then paying for the same extra-curriculars anyway! I understand from speaking to parents with DCs at these private schools that they also tutor extensively out of school for senior entrance exams, except those who are in an all-through school they are happy with.

So in my experience the parents at the independent schools are paying for smaller class sizes and to avoid “challenging” classmates, rather than top notch academics and a brilliant range of extra-curricular options.

This is true in London, parents pay for private schools and pay additional extra curricular on top, most of them are middle class working parents, the tuition fee is not a drop off the oceans for them. But they are still willing to choose private and extra tuition on top. So there must be some extra utilities that private sector provide them with to make them think it worth it.