Private school education - Is it really worth it?

[Mememe1234]

My husband and I earn a good living which is well above the average however we both come from humble beginnings. I was raised by a single mum so money was always tight and my husband was raised by mum and dad who worked in admin and as a tradesman. This means that we have always had limited financial means.

However now as adults we have worked incredibly hard to improve our financial situation and both degree, master degree education, living in an expensive part of the UK etc... Some of our neighbors come from vastly different backgrounds to us, private school educated, parents with high profile jobs etc...

Now my neighbor and i have this on-going conversation about private school. She has no doubt that her only son will go to private school whilst my eldest son is currently in state school. I'm pro state school however i have looked into private. We could afford it but it would mean using a huge proportion of our income etc... We also have two kids so having 1 would be a lot more affordable.

For anyone who has kids in private school, what is the reason you chose it? I know its got smaller classes etc but i could hire a private tutor instead which would be even more focused. I personally benefitted more from private tutoring when a kid as large group setting was challenging when i wanted to ask a specific question and be heard as I've always been more introverted.

The cost of private school is £24k a year. With two kids its £50k including lunch and doesn't even include summer holidays, inset days, half terms etc... The thought of spending that much money makes me feel a bit sick.

Now tell me is it worth it?

I think also in our area (and this is such an area-specific question, as many have said), it can be hard to get into the desirable state primaries (teeny catchments or extensive church-going requirements) and, given the cost of moving house in London, some “middle class working parents” decide to stay in the house they love and pay school fees rather than wasting £££ on stamp duty trying to get into catchment.

100% not worth it. Given that the majority of the Big 4 graduate intake are privately Oxbridge graduates, a bit sad that after hundreds of thousands of £s of education they end up as an accountant, pretty much doing what their parents are doing...

What do you expect them to do then? If you measure worthiness by occupation. What are the occupation you think it is worth it?

The trust said that of the country's medical doctors, 61% were educated at independent schools..

Because some of us don't value education just for exam results and careers. Neither DH and I are accountants either 😄.
I believe in education for the love of learning and broadening the mind rather than merely passing exams.

It does depend on circumstances. For us no, my eldest has got all As in his exams and my youngest has ASD and it’s hard enough trying to get his needs met where there’s a legal duty on the council never mind when there isn’t.

@Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty

The people I know that privately educate their children do so in the hope that they will be 'successful' in life, but when you delve a little deeper success for them means a successful well paid profession (like their parents, who most cases weren't privately educated).

Given that most privately educated people become accountants, and like you said doctors, both of which aren't particularly high paying (compared to say corporate laws, investment banking, consulting and big tech - which have a much smaller number of available positions), imo the investment simply isn't worth it.

@twistyizzy

"Love of learning" and "broadening the mind"...I guess these concepts exist solely in the realms of private education??

@pocketpairs but that is because you are judging success only on end result careers rather than the educational experience.

@pocketpairs

The people I know that privately educate their children do so in the hope that they will be 'successful' in life, but when you delve a little deeper success for them means a successful well paid profession (like their parents, who most cases weren't privately educated).

Im sure some of parents sent their children to private with what you describe in mind, i.e. Increase the chance of social mobility for their kids.

However, I don't believe most of them share what your view on the value of "successful" based on life earning expectations. Also I belive the majority parents who sent kids to private don't put social mobility as the main objective.

@pocketpairs how silly - most privately educated children do not go on to become accountants 😂

not that there is anything wrong with becoming an accountant if that’s your jam. I started my career in an industry that was exciting on paper but deadly dull in practice. I quickly switched to one that most people would find dull, but that I have found both intellectually stimulating and well compensated. The accountants I know all really love the profession above and beyond compensation.

I think all parents want their children to find careers that are both intellectually and economically sustaining. I will probably steer my children towards higher remuneration pathways because financial security gives you more options, but fortunately there are many many ways to achieve that beyond accountancy.

and I do I think our private school does a better job at inspiring a love of learning and provides a broader set of experiences than our state options - I imagine that on average that is broadly true when comparing private to state due to the resource differential. I am sure the state schools are doing their best, but at the end of the day they are trying to get as many kids as possible to competency in core subjects, which is not the same as nurturing non-core passions, or pushing kids to individual excellence.

@Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty

So if not maintaining their social / educational advantage, what other benefits does a private education give in the long run?

Surely state education also children a broader sense of experiences and the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life.

@Labraradabrador

Fair point, I was using accountancy as an example. You must know some interesting people, never met an accountant that actually likes their job.

Dd is at state school so knows kids from all walks of life. Her numerous private school friends just do not. They are in an enclosed bubble. They don’t have a clue about how many people live. Even a 14 year old can see that. Whether you think that’s a good or bad thing for your child i don’t know.

Social and education advantages are not just measured by material things such as employment opportunities or incomes as you mentioned, but also, more importantly, a lot of intangible personal long term benefits such as increased self-confidence, improved quality of life, and better access to educational resources at the right stage of life to fully realise ones potentials.

No doubt certain state education can have the opportunity to meet broader range of people, when I say certain because some of the state schools such as grammar and faith schools are also social exclusive by other means. In the end it is all about how parents value what is the right education should be.

Gaining social advantages is only a small part of it.

Of course not but with state school budgets being over stretched and a crisis in teacher recruitment most are unable to offer the enrichment type activities that private schools do. There is a such a shortage of specialist teachers in all subjects that state school kids are often missing out on being taught subjects where the teacher has a real passion. How can a PE teacher enthuse and excite students about maths when they themselves don't know the subject content? Someone who has studied maths to MSc and above is more likely to have a real love of the subject than someone who studied PE at Uni.

Rubbish. Mine have some incredible and inspirational teachers at their state school. They often come home very enthused. And the teacher exodus issue is not a problem confined to the state sector either I agree that’s a real concern though.

The sports better at the local privates I will give you that. I don’t love the idea of my child existing in a privileged bubble though which anecdotally the private school pupils definitely do. That said the state schools in our small city are largely pretty good - I can’t speak for elsewhere. Most educated professionals (doctors / small town solicitors etc) use the state schools.

I think that private schools are better if parents work long hours or travel a lot, if the available state schools are bad, if the child has a particular special need which a state school can't accommodate but a private school can, if a child struggles to cope with the larger size of a big state school, if they need to change schools to escape bullying or if they have a particular talent which means they will need to take time out of school for training/performances/competitions/ auditions and need more flexible schooling or a more personal curriculum. And boarding school can be an improvement on a bad home life.

But a disproportionate amount of the happiest adults I know are people who went to good comprehensive schools and had engaged parents who supported both their academic and extracurricular interests. A private school would never be my default choice for a child.

Agree Daisy. In a small city with decent states and NT confident teens unless money is no object or there is some other issue we genuinely couldn’t see it’s worth the outlay. We went to state school and achieved professionally.

Weirdly dd2 aged 14 socialises outside school with teens from the local private schools the wealth of some is astounding and I’m not loving the impact of that on her attitude 🙄. We are having to work quite hard on that at the moment and it would be worse if she was actually at school with them.

Its only rubbish in your opinion because you are lucky enough to have good state schools. That is not the experience of every town, our local state options are dire. You also can not disagree with the basic facts of the crisis in teacher recruitment.

We went to state school and achieved professionally.

I guess a lot of parents sent their children to private were from state school and achieved professionally, most of them value the importance of the good education. The funding gap between state schools and private schools are widening, 2-4 times as 10 or 20 years ago, the good experience of state schools may not mean the same nowadays or in the near future.

@TheaBrandt you only have to read the innumerable threads on MN to know that not everyone's experience is as rosy as yours. Some of the anecdotes about kids who are going without a proper subject teacher for months are shocking. Here's just one example https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/education/4831711-anyone-worried-about-teacher-shortages?page=1.

I always find it odd how MN is simultaneously full of threads lamenting the current state of state schools, and other threads saying there's no advantage in going to private school because state schools are pretty much as good in most ways and better in some. I guess it just comes down to individual experience.

I acknowledged teachers leaving is a massive worry. My Dd has had an excellent teacher from each of her a level subjects leave. But my neighbour who teaches at a local private school said they are facing the same thing I guess not as acute.

I really resent the poster with the long name implying that by not going private we do not value education. That’s extremely offensive. I hope you don’t actually say that to anyone in real life.

That’s why I explicitly said if the state schools are decent. Reading comprehension not brilliant on this thread…

Yes you did acknowledge it, but you also said 'rubbish' to a poster saying that state school pupils were lacking inspirational teachers. Ok their comment may have been too sweeping, and I'm sure that private achools are being affected by teacher shortages, but not to anything like the same degree. I have friends whose kids have had simply appalling experiences of teaching shortages in state secondaries. My kids haven't had more than one or two non specialist cover lessons in several years of school (having had terrible teacher shortages in state primary). Yes, it's all anecdote, but I don't think it's unreasonable to say that overall, state schools have been much more affected by teacher shortages so far.

Neither is yours to be fair.
We all speak from our own experiences and you can't say "rubbish" to my experience when you are in a completely different situation. State schools around here have had to scrap a lot of the enrichment activities due to budgets cuts and staff shortages. This means they are only focusing on the main subjects which are tested through GCSEs. Students don't get the opportunity to find out if their passion lies in drama/music/art/sport/languages because the opportunities just aren't there.