My daughter is crying! She doesnt want to change her school!

[Georginalora]

Hi,

My daughter is 7 years old - she received an offer from one of the best academic schools in London - GCSE grades A is around %65. She is currently in independent All-through school till. We are happy with the school but school is mixability and our daughter is always been on top set. Schools GSCE A grades is about %40. She never wanted to change her school but she did amazing in 7+ assesment andd finally she had an offer from all of them. But in the end she doeant want to move. She is crying when we talk about new school and I feel so bad. Is anyone had that kind of experience? Do you think she can settle and love her new school? Or I should leave her where she is. Meanwhile her little brother is also in her current school and she doesn’t like the fact that they will go to different schools as well:( I want the best for her but I am so sad that she is unhappy right now. Really don’t know what to do:( Meanwhile new school has bad transport links so bad. In future if she wants to travel on her own to new school - she needs get a public bus (20 mins) then train (7 mins) then 20 mins walk. Her current school is 10 mins away with public bus.
What do I need to do? Please share your experiences and ideas 🌸

I understand totally what you are saying about very young children. It can be a very lonely existence and my children were lucky they had each other. Would I of wanted them to sit exams any earlier absolutely not. I wasn’t 100% of them sitting at 14. We discussed it for weeks before they decided they wanted to give it a go.

Absolutely, it sounds like you did the very best for them and you all came out the other side happy.

Yeah what was the point?

@fUNNYfACE36 she's answered all these questions already in response to other posts.

I was educated in Germany, but I was allowed to skip 2 years' of school (Year 4 and Year 10) because I was very academic and circumstances allowed it. So I started uni younger than everyone else. Can't say it made any positive difference though that I started uni earlier and I actually lost really good school friends by skipping years. It didn't make my school life any happier and in fact made it much less pleasurable.

Prioritise her happiness

Meanwhile new school has bad transport links so bad. In future if she wants to travel on her own to new school - she needs get a public bus (20 mins) then train (7 mins) then 20 mins walk. Her current school is 10 mins away with public bus.

That's too much for a school she doesn't even want to go to.

Another huge factor here is she clearly loves her hobby bits.that travel time will completely cut any chance of that off.plus exhaust her.

@XelaM true. my primary school (not in the uk) allowed me to skip year 3 as well. It wasnt good idea at all.

If she came top 5 in the entrance exams without any extra tuition then her current school can’t be that bad academically, it clearly prepared her well.

It used to be quite common, even in state schools for bright children to take their O Levels a year early and then spend 3 years in VI Form.

Private schools often allowed 14 year olds to take O Levels.

Omg move her.

How can a 7 year old have any idea or perspective about this sort of thing. You are the parent, dc move all the time at age 7 for loads of reasons. Move her.

@SnowdayYay I changed my sons nursery 3 times in 2 years because he was unhappy but when child is happy and doing well academically its harder to decide

If she was a teen possibly not but she's so young..

Fwiw I was moved at 10 and qaa also crying, it's anecdotal but it was an amazing move for me

The school you might move her to - will she definitely stay there until 18? Or you just want that 2nd school as back up and then apply to the most competitive london ones at 11 plus? The most selective schools do not take at 7 because a) you can’t always tell at 7 and b) not as many kids go private at 7.

Leave her where she is. I can't believe anyone would consider moving a 7 year old from a school they are very happy in to another school just because it has better GCSE results!
Mental health is much more important than results, besides a child that is doing well and happy will achieve much better results than a child that is unhappy and hot housed.

I would leave her where she is and then try for more academic schools at 11+ like St Pauls girls, Godolphin and Latymer and it depends where you live where else. I just mentioned those two bc you mentioned St Pauls. It sounds like your dd is very academic. It is amazing at age 7 she does that all on her own. My dd is going to G&L in September, but at age 7 she was more into playing in the park, doing her extra cuticular activities.

Also, forgot to add, when so young easy travel to school and local friends makes a huge difference.

Well not really, just because you're super intelligent doesn't mean you have to accelerate at school; you can enrich and that can happen at school or at home. Being really intelligent with a family of engineer human calculators, I can see how that might then give you an educational capital combined with extreme giftedess (as it seems in this case), means there was either conscious or unconscious pressures to achieve for your children (can maybe it was self driven by them).

But you say it was quite a lonely existence and you were glad they had each other. Did they not have time for friends? Did they have time to just watch TV, go into town with their friends. I'm assuming here that maybe - often cultural this e.g. Asia/Eastern Europe in particular, sorry to generalise - they're doing all the academic stuff i.e. study, instruments, chess etc - but what about team sports, sports?

In some countries this is just not a discussion that happens (and of course they will have super intelligent kids there too) as the social aspects are deemed as equally, if not more, important.

This was mainly in response to iceicebaby

My niece got the chance to move schools to the more academic one but refused - and was later bullied by her cohorts. T his was many moons ago.
If the school she is at I’d good with no bullying stay there. But her DB being there makes no odds as he might get the chance to move when he is older.