Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

My daughter is crying! She doesnt want to change her school!

221 replies

Georginalora · 09/03/2023 22:21

Hi,

My daughter is 7 years old - she received an offer from one of the best academic schools in London - GCSE grades A is around %65. She is currently in independent All-through school till. We are happy with the school but school is mixability and our daughter is always been on top set. Schools GSCE A grades is about %40. She never wanted to change her school but she did amazing in 7+ assesment andd finally she had an offer from all of them. But in the end she doeant want to move. She is crying when we talk about new school and I feel so bad. Is anyone had that kind of experience? Do you think she can settle and love her new school? Or I should leave her where she is. Meanwhile her little brother is also in her current school and she doesn’t like the fact that they will go to different schools as well:( I want the best for her but I am so sad that she is unhappy right now. Really don’t know what to do:( Meanwhile new school has bad transport links so bad. In future if she wants to travel on her own to new school - she needs get a public bus (20 mins) then train (7 mins) then 20 mins walk. Her current school is 10 mins away with public bus.
What do I need to do? Please share your experiences and ideas 🌸

OP posts:
creekingmillenial · 09/03/2023 23:23

If they select and your DD’s current school doesn’t, then you can’t compare GCSE %s across the whole school. What do their top set get? Probably a similar % to the selective school. I wouldn’t move her. I can’t see any advantages.

evemillbank · 09/03/2023 23:26

Ah this is sad. Don't move her she's happy and doing well where she is and now it's like she will be punished for it by getting a good test result and being told she has to leave it all behind.

OnaBegonia · 09/03/2023 23:30

She's 7! why would you even mention this to her? let her be a child.

NOTANUM · 09/03/2023 23:35

Did you tutor her?

The journey sounds a nightmare. I would stay where I was.

WetLettuce2 · 09/03/2023 23:39

You’ve made your 7 year old cry by being so ridiculous

veryverybored · 09/03/2023 23:40

Definitely don't move her.
Also- those GCSE results are not that amazing league table wise in London if you're looking at A and A stars.
(Although there is obviously more to a school than league table and results).
But if you are in such a dilemma because it's one of the most academic schools in London, I'm not sure it is?
Which schools are you deciding between?

Summerfun54321 · 09/03/2023 23:40

Children learn the best in an environment that they feel happy and settled and safe. If she already has that then why move her?

LittleBearPad · 09/03/2023 23:46

Leave her. Move at 11

JackiePlace · 09/03/2023 23:49

Go for the news school. She will get over it and will also learn that Mummy knows best (and that crying won't get her her own way).
It's not good to be afraid of change, or to be surrounded by average kids if you are intelligent.

LittleBearPad · 09/03/2023 23:51

JackiePlace · 09/03/2023 23:49

Go for the news school. She will get over it and will also learn that Mummy knows best (and that crying won't get her her own way).
It's not good to be afraid of change, or to be surrounded by average kids if you are intelligent.

Staying at a school she’s happy at, that’s local and where her brother is he more going for it than moving at 7.

Mumwithbaggage · 09/03/2023 23:56

My 3 dds went to a school with better results than this. Local and state school. She's 7 - get a grip.

oakleaffy · 09/03/2023 23:57

Academic kids do well wherever they are.
Don't move her.

viques · 09/03/2023 23:57

You should not be making a seven year old cry because you are worried about her GCSE results! She sounds a clever hardworking and sensitive child. Keep her where she is and let her take the 11 plus at the appropriate time.if she is as bright as she sounds she will pass sufficiently well for schools to be offering her places. Let her stay where she is, develop her confidence, revel in her friendships, and enjoy being a little girl. Confident, happy children are the ones who learn best.

oakleaffy · 09/03/2023 23:58

65% 'A' grade at GCSE?
That's really not great.

BillyDeanisnotmylover · 09/03/2023 23:58

Leave her where she is. If she’s bright enough to thrive in the top school, she’s very likely to be offered a place at 11. No need to make the change now when she’s so unhappy about it.

Rewind20Years · 10/03/2023 00:01

Leave her where she is

IF she is capable to achieve, she will where ever she goes

Why are you putting so much pressure and upset on your child ?!?!

Dodgeitornot · 10/03/2023 00:01

Poor kid. Leave her where she is and re-evaluate at 11+.

Original poster
Georginalora · 10/03/2023 00:02

@NOTANUM no we had no tutor and we didn’t even do practise at home.

OP posts:
skilikeagirl · 10/03/2023 00:03

Considering her age, that painful commute, and those results being nothing special, I'd leave her where she is happy! Maybe you could look wider for 11+ if you want something super academic and she's ready for a change then?

Original poster
Georginalora · 10/03/2023 00:03

@oakleaffy A*

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/03/2023 00:08

Well, it's pretty easy to see why a selective school will end up with a higher proportion of top grades than a mixed ability school, surely? It doesn't actually mean that the selective school is any better or that individual children will get higher grades, it's just a reflection of the cohort. It amazes me when parents seem incapable of grasping this quite simple concept.

Original poster
Georginalora · 10/03/2023 00:12

Thank you all. i just want to mention I never put any pressure on her. We never had a tutor and never practiced at home for 7+. She is so busy kid. She loves learning and enjoys every subjects- she is in netball team and swimming team at school, she plays 2 instruments tennis and does gymnastic and dance. She has done so many clubs so far but its not because we want her to do it - she loves them! When she comes home she rest then practice her instruments, does her homework on her own and loves reading every day - I dont even ask her to do! She joined Italian club in her school this year- she came home last week and said “we are learning how to count 1-10 in italian at school but I want to learn up to 100” - I said to her that she doesn’t need to learn right now. When I let her to watch tv she found a channel on youtube which teaches italian numbers. She is also very social and she loves spending time with her friends outside of school so seriously we never had time to do any practice for assesments.

OP posts:
Rosula · 10/03/2023 00:14

It sounds like your daughter is doing really well at her current school. I can't see any sensible reason to move her at this stage.

XelaM · 10/03/2023 00:14

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/03/2023 00:08

Well, it's pretty easy to see why a selective school will end up with a higher proportion of top grades than a mixed ability school, surely? It doesn't actually mean that the selective school is any better or that individual children will get higher grades, it's just a reflection of the cohort. It amazes me when parents seem incapable of grasping this quite simple concept.

THIS!!!!!!!

Of course a more selective school will have higher GCSE results.

Don't move a happy child. She will do well where she is.

takealettermsjones · 10/03/2023 00:16

JackiePlace · 09/03/2023 23:49

Go for the news school. She will get over it and will also learn that Mummy knows best (and that crying won't get her her own way).
It's not good to be afraid of change, or to be surrounded by average kids if you are intelligent.

What an awful comment.

Mummy doesn't always know best.

Crying isn't 'bad' behaviour. She's 7 and upset.

You have no idea whether she will 'get over it'.