Page 12 | Moving children from private to state education

GreenL6 · 2022-11-11T19:07:53+00:00

I've made three posts and accidentally deleted them. This is short... I'm heartbroken but have to seriously consider taking children out of private school to state. They've been there since nursery and now high school age. Any positives? Good experiences? I would do anything to keep them there but every option not viable for one reason or another! Bursary also not helpful, said max help 10% if accepted and terms notice to leave said in a very matter of fact way, no skin off our nose, goodbye when you say. Cried so much thinking of what I can do but it's just seeming impossible.

Nightlite888 · 26/09/2023 22:22

Similar situation here for different reasons…
ds at a pre prep, finishing at end of this school year, extremely bright and being recommended to do St Paul’s , Westminster etc
his father and I have separated due to fathers abusive and coercive behaviour plus emotional neglect towards hols. Is a high earner. Also refuses to support ds i. His education by failing to do homework with him
now father refuses to contribute to school fees going forward, purely out of sight.
my ds is s shy introverted yet highly gifted child. We sent him to private for small classes and as we knew hr was bright.
Now I’m bring forced to scrabble around lookinn for bursaries at 7+. I am a middle earner so don’t qualify for lots of schools. Entering ss for sps but so competitive with bursary. Confusering moving out of London so that I can afford a private school place for him.

Billi80 · 26/09/2023 23:02

There are many excellent state primaries in London if that’s where you’re looking to live. And he’ll benefit from a much larger group of kids to choose as friends. Good luck.

Nightlite888 · 26/09/2023 23:06

@Billi80 thanks. I’m in sw London atm. Just breaks my heart that his so called father is messing around with his education out of spite.

crazycrofter · 26/09/2023 23:07

@Nightlite888 I'm sorry to hear about your relationship breakdown, but please don’t worry about your son. My children moved from a private school with tiny classes in years 2 and reception to a state primary in quite a rough area. They did really well (dd is now at uni!). At your son’s young age he will adapt fine and he can still do just as well without paying for it. You need to weigh up what a private school really offers over and above the state system.

Nightlite888 · 26/09/2023 23:09

@crazycrofter thank you, that gives me comfort. Ds is a bit of a people pleaser so I do worry that he will get in ‘with the wrong crowd’ and not do as well at school as he is capable

JustAMinutePleass · 26/09/2023 23:19

Years 8/9 is a tricky time to move. Year 9 is Options years at State Secondaries and so they might not get to do the courses they want to for GCSE if they move. It’s good you found a way to keep them going until year 11, OP.

Wolvesart · 26/09/2023 23:37

GreenL6 · 11/11/2022 19:15

Year 8 & 9

So is your independent school switch year 7 or 9? Or are you in one of those straight through settings like Bedford School?

There is going to be a lot of change anyway. Natural switch years are 3, 5, 7, 9 and sixth form. State schools do d see one things better. Sports could still be ok st secondary, but may not be too fancy. Everything else is really just about the run up to GCSEs. If you have secondary school options where the kids start studying for their options in Yr9, I’d highly recommend

Rustygecko · 22/11/2024 06:10

Bursaries can be up to 130% of fees.

Lazytiger · 23/11/2024 23:45

backinthebox · 12/11/2022 13:48

I wouldn’t want to move my children in Year 8 and 9, however, they are the ‘least bad’ years to be moving children from one secondary school to another. Year 8 in particular seems to be the year a lot of kids here move from one school to another, so they can get settled in before GCSEs.

However, I am going to tell the OP to get a grip. You would get a lot more sympathy and helpful responses if you ask ‘does anyone have any experience of moving schools in Years 8 and 9’ instead of wailing (and your posts do come across as wailing) about your privately educated children not being able to cope with a state school.

Not accepted by state and then washed hands of by private.
I must confess that any friends that ditch her because she has moved to a state school are nasty pieces of work and not friends. So don’t mourn the loss of those. They will be easily accepted at state schools, (unless they march around the place announcing that they are devastated to have to mix with the ordinary children,) they will just find other kids with similar interests and slot in with them.

Plus the facilities the private schools have that they use and won't be available. I wouldn’t be so sure about that. My DD is looking at a state 6th form for A levels. They have a lacrosse team and a polo team (and the year they went to the British Schools Polo champs, they were sneered at by the private kids, and then famously went on to beat them all.)

Also options as they do subjects not available to them. See above. The reason my daughter is looking at this school is because of their excellent Classics department.

I had a work colleague who had to swap his daughter from the local private school to a state school (the one both my kids are at atm) and he was similarly fearful, but on looking around the school he was amazed to find the facilities in some departments were actually better than at the private school. (He was astonished to find a massive music department, a small theatre and the photography suite complete with dark rooms. His DD’s private school had none of these things.) Don’t judge them before you have been and had a look. Some schools have different strengths, so decide what you need for your children and then look into schools that offer these subjects and facilities. It’s pointless going on about the facilities a private school has if your DCs don’t actually use that facility! And above all, don’t judge the state school kids - as other people have pointed out, somewhere in the region of 95% of all children go to state school, and deciding at such an early age that they are incompatible with the vast majority of other people is not a skill I would want my children to learn!

My goodness. I thought my local states were good (they are but that’s not the point) this place sounds incredible Where on Earth is it? Narnia??????

MotherOfMonkeys0 · 24/11/2024 08:18

Lots of kids leave private for S6 (Scotland) at our local state school as the subject choice is broader and facilities for some subjects better, not sports admittedly though.

Xenia · 24/11/2024 18:47

On the divorce issue the Financial Times this weekend had an item on the VAT issue (in my case when my children were at school - I the higher earner woman had to pay the school fees not the children's father). The article rightly said that if the divorce order refers to school fees being paid but those go up a lot etc have VAT on them, business rates adding to costs never mind minimum wage and higher employer NI, then the parent paying would have to apply to the court to vary the court order if they could no longer afford to pay.

Rustygecko · 25/11/2024 11:02

Lazytiger · 23/11/2024 23:45

My goodness. I thought my local states were good (they are but that’s not the point) this place sounds incredible Where on Earth is it? Narnia??????

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Those schools do exist in areas of London where the average house price is £3 million. This is not the “average” state school.

sheep73 · 26/11/2024 06:39

Our son left his prep school for a state grammar. The quality of teaching is, by and large, much better. Even he can see this. The prep school has been through and continues to go through hard times. Just in the three years we have been there it has slid downhill.
Our son was very sad to leave his friends and still misses them but sadly financially and educationally it was the best move.

Rustygecko · 26/11/2024 10:22

sheep73 · 26/11/2024 06:39

Our son left his prep school for a state grammar. The quality of teaching is, by and large, much better. Even he can see this. The prep school has been through and continues to go through hard times. Just in the three years we have been there it has slid downhill.
Our son was very sad to leave his friends and still misses them but sadly financially and educationally it was the best move.

So you have left the prep school one year early?
id be interested as to the location (County?) because here in Lincolnshire several (all?) of the grammar schools are not worthy of the name.

Xenia · 26/11/2024 10:27

It does vary. My children's father went to a state grammar in Yorkshire in the days when they had them and all 3i n the area he said were pretty useless; whereas here where I am in London you have schools like Henrietta Barnett. I would still pay school fees for all kinds of reasons and i did so as my parents did for me, but it is very different all over the country. in the NE of England where I am from state grammars were abolished in about 1970.

sheep73 · 26/11/2024 10:35

rustygecko two years early. Year 7
I'm not sure the value added is amazing but it does nearly as well as the boarding school which costs a cool £45k + vat so it's worth a twirl

Greenleave · 26/11/2024 13:12

Sorry I dont have any suggestion here just that, year 8/9 isnt the worst one to move and that you need to tell your school as soon as possible.

P/S: Can mumsnet have a private school section only under Education so that private school parents dont have to read such some abusive and rude comments. It is such a difficult time for private school parents who got hit from all angles(tax, inflations, university selection, left lean politics etc.)

KK2501 · 26/11/2024 15:24

Hi, I am just seeing this thread as I am in same boat as GreenL6 now and feeling anxious. Would be good to hear how your kids have settled GreenL6. I really hope they are happy and thriving and so are you. Looking forward to a positive story from you😊

tortoise18 · 26/11/2024 15:32

Greenleave · 26/11/2024 13:12

Sorry I dont have any suggestion here just that, year 8/9 isnt the worst one to move and that you need to tell your school as soon as possible.

P/S: Can mumsnet have a private school section only under Education so that private school parents dont have to read such some abusive and rude comments. It is such a difficult time for private school parents who got hit from all angles(tax, inflations, university selection, left lean politics etc.)

There is a private school section under education, if you look. Anyone can join though, which you might not be used to.

pointythings · 26/11/2024 18:45

Greenleave · 26/11/2024 13:12

Sorry I dont have any suggestion here just that, year 8/9 isnt the worst one to move and that you need to tell your school as soon as possible.

P/S: Can mumsnet have a private school section only under Education so that private school parents dont have to read such some abusive and rude comments. It is such a difficult time for private school parents who got hit from all angles(tax, inflations, university selection, left lean politics etc.)

You want your own exclusive little section of Mumsnet? No, that isn't entitled at all. Honestly, that's the funniest thing I've read on here in years.

AnotherNewt · 26/11/2024 19:00

pointythings · 26/11/2024 18:45

You want your own exclusive little section of Mumsnet? No, that isn't entitled at all. Honestly, that's the funniest thing I've read on here in years.

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Umm.... why is it funny?

Private school | Mumsnet | Mumsnet

pointythings · 26/11/2024 19:43

AnotherNewt · 26/11/2024 19:00

Umm.... why is it funny?

Private school | Mumsnet | Mumsnet

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Because the poster in question seems to think non private school posters won't go on it and that it's somehow exclusive.

Obviously I won't go on it.

Greenleave · 26/11/2024 20:07

pointythings · 26/11/2024 18:45

You want your own exclusive little section of Mumsnet? No, that isn't entitled at all. Honestly, that's the funniest thing I've read on here in years.

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Because of such comment hence that section is needed for many others

pointythings · 26/11/2024 20:09

Greenleave · 26/11/2024 20:07

Because of such comment hence that section is needed for many others

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I do not understand why you do not see that it is entitled to demand your own section of Mumsnet where there is no place for challenge and robust discussion? The rest of us can handle that. Why can't you?

I'm not opposed to private schools at all. Especially now that they will be paying VAT like other businesses.

Rustygecko · 27/11/2024 12:43

sheep73 · 26/11/2024 10:35

rustygecko two years early. Year 7
I'm not sure the value added is amazing but it does nearly as well as the boarding school which costs a cool £45k + vat so it's worth a twirl

You are right. However, IMO based on the opinion of one child at one grammar (plus their friends) and then at one rather expensive Public school - I would note the following: He compares the grammar school teachers to the public school he now attends - he says that the worst teacher at his public school are as good as the best at his grammar school. He also says that the public school teachers don't have to put up with the rudeness, noise, disobedience that he saw in the grammar school - which of course leads to the public school teachers being in much better moods. He sees an enthusiasm for their subjects in the teachers which was rare at the grammar. He saw many burnt out teachers in the grammar school and none at the public school. I have friends who are teachers who assure me that if you are living in a very leafy area of London you get public school level education for free eg Queen Elizabeth Barnett or the Henrietta Barnett school in Hampstead.